My bro-in-law and his two kids live in an apartment with me (age 16) and my stepfather (age old). The children, ages 2 and 3, are both Autistic. This is because their mother did drugs during her pregnancy with them.
She left her husband and children behind before she was married and had her kids for drugs, and then after her son was born (the now 2 year old) she left the family for an abusive man.
Since she's left, her children have been receiving therapy to ease their Autistic symptoms. My nephew said his first few words only a few weeks ago.
But the thing that gets me depressed is that these sweet, wonderful, adorable children are growing up without her mother.
And she's missing out on this, on all of this, of their growing up, of their speaking, their happiness... she's missing it all.
What can I do to cheer myself up?
2007-01-12 05:58:37 · 19 answers · asked by Lady Myrkr 6 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
In response to one of the answerers, my mother died when I was seven, so, no, I don't have her.
2007-01-12 06:49:48 · update #1
First of all - it's probably better that she is not in their lives. Sounds to me like she is too lost to raise children or even take care of herself.
The best thing you can do is be there for these kids, watch them grow and teach them things! Read to them and play with them...I think you'll get self satisfaction and watching them grow up happy will make you happy.
2007-01-12 06:03:53 · answer #1 · answered by hello 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
you are saying you live with your brother-in-law and his two kids, and your 16 yrs.old,and your stepfather lives there too. I presume that the one that pay's the rent in the apartment is your stepfather, and your brother-in-law. The Mother of the two kids is your sister? She also do drugs which is the reason the kids are Autistic. You also wrote that you feel depressed because you feel sorry for the children, and you feel the Mother missing out on the growing up process of the kids. Those Children have you to look out for them what more can they ask for, do not feel sorry because their Mother is not around them, what kind of kids would they be if the Mother was living there with them, seeing her do Drugs. Maybe God send those kids to you to raise and to give them love,which I am pretty sure they Love you too. Do not feel sorry for them show them that they can accomplish anything their heart's desire because they are special and you are proud to have them with you. Getting back to you, do not let depression ruin your life think positive not negative, fight this monster that is trying to dictate your actions, I was once depressed when I had major surgery on my lower back, and I remember that I did not want to get out of bed untill, I realized that I was a strong person and I will not let myself be depressed. It is up to you if you want to feel sorry for the way things have gone with your life, or thank God for letting you be there for those little kids, what will they do without you. I care and I hope all goes well with you.
2007-01-19 17:00:18 · answer #2 · answered by a.vasquez7413@sbcglobal.net 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Try to be happy about being able to enjoy all of the things that she is missing. You're pretty lucky (and so are they) that you at least have eachother! You'll be the one who gets to be there for all of their "firsts" (first words, learning how to tie shoes, etc). It's her own loss, and it's too bad that her addictin is too strong for her to realize what she's given up. Sounds like your a responsible young person, with a big heart-and I think it's great that you're so sensitive to your families needs, but don't forget to remember yourself once in a while!
2007-01-19 16:55:19 · answer #3 · answered by court 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
May be you need to talk to someone to help you with the emotions you are having, maybe a good friend or a counselor (school). Good luck with things, I lost my mother when I was 12 and life is a lot harder without a mother to run to. I feel for you I still wish she was still around, its been 16 years.
2007-01-16 19:51:09 · answer #4 · answered by melissa l 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You poor thing! I am very sorry! Don't be depressed. You sound like a great girl. Be proud that you're there and that you DO care. To cheer yourself up, be proud of yourself. KNOW that you took a lesson from this!! It will make you a better mommy one day. When you look at those kids, be glad they are breathing and alive. It could be worse. Give the kids hugs!! When i'm depressed, it makes me feel good to spend time with my kids and hug them. :)
2007-01-19 03:57:45 · answer #5 · answered by LuVmYfAmiLY 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You are thier aunt, and will for a while be viewed by them in a maternal light. Having very young children view you in that fashion is simultaneously confusing and exhilirating when they are not your own, so enjoy it.
Just do not forget that you are thier aunt, not thier mother, so don't let what you want to do with your life be determined by your brother's children.
2007-01-12 14:04:39 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
hey i can imaging Ur deprecation; but hear me out, u r young u can please don't take this so hard not that these children's aren't lack a mother, but you can help, when you find the time you con have funny with them help them with there homework etc, but remember life is unfear Ur bless to have a mother that put u first; but the good thing about this is that they are more bless to have u depress over there site-ration, shown them the right they well love u for that.
hey am welling to help with anything just ask, and please don't think that i am a killer are anything u think is bad, hey u can call me javon.
2007-01-12 14:15:37 · answer #7 · answered by 0012 1 · 0⤊ 1⤋
My father raised me. I think that it is really great that their father is there for them. At least they have the both of you. I know that you are not their mother, and it must be hard to help raise someone elses childred, but you are def. their angel. I hope you brother-in-law knows how lucky he has you!
2007-01-20 13:20:06 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
You may give these sweet children the motherly love and start enjoying their growing up process by becoming its part , by caring and loving them.
2007-01-12 14:09:56 · answer #9 · answered by JIGYASU 1 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Pray and ask God to intervene, change the heart of the mother and bring her home to her children. Ask God to give you strength to help the children and to bring you and the family joy.
2007-01-12 14:05:21 · answer #10 · answered by Jeancommunicates 7 · 1⤊ 1⤋