I really care about him as a friend and I don't want to hurt his feelings any more than I have to but I'm not sure what to tell him to break up with him. We've had the talk before but he got so upset that I couldn't go through with it but I really need OUT of this relationship. I would eventually like us to be friends but I know that will probably take some time. I'm not sure what to tell him to get the point across despite anything he says or does to try to convince me otherwise...any ideas?
2007-01-12 05:47:58 · 14 answers · asked by kestrelk8 6 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
There really is only one way to end it for sure and that's to be as honest as you can.Tell it like it is and that will work.You may hurt his feelings,but it's not like he isn't expecting this,it will not catch him off guard so woman up and tell him what you need to tell him.Recently I just did the same thing and it was bothering me so bad to get it done with before the new year and I just had to end it,I had already expressed this but he seemed to think every thing was gonna be alright,but for me it was misery,so I womaned up and got it together and spoke my piece.He didn't like it and I don't blame him I am quite a good woman,but he said he knew it was coming so it's done.
2007-01-12 05:58:54 · answer #1 · answered by punkin 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Since you tried this once, to no avail, I would recommend a letter. I don't mean dump him by letter. I mean write it all down so you can get it straight (and so he has a chance to re-read it over and over until it sinks in). But give him the letter in person and stay there while he reads it. Tell him you are staying while he reads it, NOT because you are willing to debate it afterwards or s he can try to change your mind, but just because you aren't trying to hide behind the letter. Tell him you wrote it so you couldn't get sidetracked or say the wrong thing. Be sure in the letter that he knows you care a lot about him, but that you have no romantic feelings for him. Tell him what you said about wanting to be friends some day but understanding that it's probably going to take a long time. Pre-set an amount of time after he reads it to stay (maybe 5 or 10 minutes) and then when the time is up, go. I know it will feel harsh, because it's like you're walking out on someone you care about who is grieving. But the problem is, you can't be the one to help him grieve through this. He'll have to wallow in it alone a bit and then seek some support elsewhere. Fight your temptation to "check on him" in a few hours or days or even weeks. He will only miscontrue this as a hidden sign that you really still want a relationship with him (because that's what he wants to believe.) You have to really pull back and stay away. Believe me it's the kindest thing to do. The hardest part is walking away ... and staying away. But you have every right, and it's the right thing to do since the feelings just aren't there.
2007-01-12 13:57:28 · answer #2 · answered by Rvn 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You are going to hurt his feelings, so you might as well get it over with. Just be honest. Tell him you still want him around but your feelings on how have changed. Tell him they won;t change back. He probably will try to talk you out of it, and you cannot let him, because that would be cruel. After a while, when he meets someone else you'll be able to be friends again. Don;t be mean just be honest.
2007-01-12 13:52:55 · answer #3 · answered by jmtutin 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Breaks ups are very rarely good for both people. You just have to be honest, tell him the reasons, and hope he is mature enough to go along with it. He probably won't but maybe down the road you to can become friends. It will definatly take time.
2007-01-12 13:53:14 · answer #4 · answered by Doug H 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
it's really hard most especially if you two have been dating for quite some time or if you made it past 2 dates or more. It would be quite unfair to break up to a man who treated you well and for all he knew he has a chance with you because you and him is going pretty well. i think you should give it more time and give it more chance unless he is not treating you right. after all you won't be in that relationship for this long if you didn't like him anyway.
2007-01-12 13:55:40 · answer #5 · answered by imb 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Simply tell him you two are not a good match romantically and wish him well. If he argues the issue tell him you are sorry he's upset or sorry he disagrees, but the feelings just aren't there for you.
Hopefully after the sting has left him, he'll find friendship an acceptable alternative.
2007-01-12 13:52:14 · answer #6 · answered by . 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Do u think the love is more important than to care... dear u love him because when u care for a person u love him.. u can't take care for someone never love him... so don't break up because u don't love him say that u have someone Else in your heart.. i never believe a girl that saying i want to break up and i don't love him and she have empty heart.. the women born to been in love...
2007-01-12 13:52:24 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Best way is to be honest yes it would suck and he would get upset but that is the burden you have to face...whatever you do, don't ask him to be your friend during the conversation...he might take that the wrong way...give each other space and see where the chips land...chances are if you do this you won't be friends...be ready to deal with that...
2007-01-12 13:52:25 · answer #8 · answered by Confused Friend 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well, if you give a guy a tiny hope, that's all they needs to hold on to things. If you do not give him any false hope and break up with him, then he will accepted and it would probably be the best way to break up with a guy.
2007-01-12 13:52:14 · answer #9 · answered by revolou 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
well..for one thing the longer you put it off the worse its going to get...id say either just wait it out and maybe youll gain stronger feelings...or just tell him that you dont feel the same way...the only thing you really can do is talk to him....
2007-01-12 13:52:08 · answer #10 · answered by ~Ohio State~ 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋