Eloping in Vegas?

Question

I have been with my bf for over 6 years. Last year we were planning our wedding but I stopped the planning becuase I got tired of everyone telling me how I should do things. I could not bear to tell my friends and family how fed up I was getting.

Since then we have talked about just eloping in Vegas. We have been there many times and love it, so it just seems right. But we want our parents at our wedding and mine nor his are willing to fly or make the long drive.

We also do not want to invite friends as it becomes a "You invited so-and-so but not me" deal. So if we did, we would basically just up and go without telling anyone.

I hate to hurt anyone's feelings. And I do want a reception or a party or something to *celebrate* afterwards. What would you do: have a normal wedding at home or elope in Vegas??

Answer 1

Elope in Vegas, then have a formal wedding for the family. A wedding is only a ceremony. Your paperwork can be from anywhere.

Answer 2

Oh, I so hear you about all this planning BS. "It's your day, do what you want" is such a myth. It's the day you have to please a crowd of people who have many different ideas about how this day should go down. LOL

If I were you, I would elope in Vegas, and plan a simple reception/celebration for afterwards that everyone can attend. Remember that no matter what you do, you're running the risk of "hurting someone's feelings", so just make a decision and stick by it. I'm not sure why your parents are so set against flying to the wedding, to me it sounds unreasonable. My dad was absolutely thrilled to fly 6,000 miles from another continent to be here for my wedding. Unless failing health is the reason, I don't see why it cannot be arranged for the immediate families to attend. If they are absolutely not willing - well, they will just have to have fun at the reception. Don't feel like you're the only one that needs to look out for everyone else's "happiness"; let them take on their share of the work. I would extend the invitation to them, and try and work something out so they can attend. But I think even if they can't, a nice local reception afterwards will soothe everyone's spirits.

My husband and I chose to have a very informal wedding, and my MIL was REEEALLY not sure about it. She kept asking me who were going to be my bridesmaids, or who was doing my hair, etc etc. The thing is, we were getting married at an outdoor event (a pirate faire) that a lot of our friends were participating in, so everyone was there to "pitch in", it was very improvised, and everything came together at the last minute. We had no wedding party or anything, the minister and the musicians were friends, and a couple of girls did my hair and make-up like 20 minutes before the ceremony. I think, up to the last minute my MIL didn't know what to make of all that, but it ended up being SO much fun. We had a beautiful ceremony, with many friends and spectators (and much cutlass-brandishing), and as it was a "pirate" wedding we went and shot blackpowder cannons at the lake shore afterwards. It was a blast (no pun intended)! Then we were all partook in rum and other similar offerings, sang songs, had a pirate piñata (filled with little bottles of rum), and by the end of the night, my dad and my parents in law were conversing briskly in spite of the fact that they didn't speak a common language. This was an out-of-town event, and not all friends could make it. We had a "reception" in our back yard a week later, and it was a lot of fun too. I say, elope; you'll have fun, and it's a very low-stress way to do it (my former husband and I were married in Vegas, it was fun too.) Congrats.

Answer 3

Go to Vegas! We followed the same path as you - started to plan the big wedding, but got frustrated with everyone telling us what they wanted. So we decided to go to Vegas, and we told our families and the original wedding party to come if they wanted to. A few other friends decided to come - we didn't care at that point - the more the merrier. We ended up with about 25 people there, and had a blast! We had a reception 2 weeks after we got home so we could still do a bit of the tradional thing. It was great, we couldn't have been happier!

Answer 4

Weddings are stressful no matter where you have them. What I would do is have the wedding in Vegas, but chose a place that can put it on the internet. Then the week before, tell everyone that you are getting married at this place and if they want to come then great, if they don't then they can watch it online. But the next weekend have a backyard fun party with everyone in celebration.

Answer 5

I can't tell you what to do, but I can tell you what we did. We invited everyone to our Vegas wedding and to our at home reception. Those who could attend and enjoy a "vacation" in Vegas came to Vegas (about 30 in all). You may be surprised by how many people would love to go to Vegas for a weekend. Those who could attend the reception did (about 100). We were married at the Paris Las Vegas with a very traditional ceremony...my father walked me down the aisle, we said vows, exchanged rings, lit a unity candle, and the union was blessed by a pastor. The groom, best man, and fathers wore tuxedos. I had a full-length lightweight wedding gown, my matron of honor wore a simple black dress. It was beautiful, simple, and so on.

If the parents aren't willing to go, which is odd that they wouldn't want to go their own children's wedding, regardless of location, then bring at least your maid of honor and best man, so they can witness the event and you'll have someone to share your joy. Help out by finding package deals.

Invite everyone to the reception and play the video of your wedding at the reception so that everyone can see the ceremony. My guess is that if your parents don't go, then they will have regrets and feel guilty that they couldn't bother to make the trip. (More than likely they don't want to go because they want you to have a dream wedding.)

The other option is to stick it out, and have the big wedding, but hire a wedding planner to do the work. They are good about not letting outsiders tell them what to do and focusing on what the bride wants. It will relieve a lot of the stress you are feeling. Otherwise, do your planning for a big wedding but don't tell anyone until you send out your invitations and have everything planned (not even your parents or those who were trying to tell you what to do). If you want someone's opinion, ask a friend who can support you without revealing your secret and without telling you what to do.

I had most of my Vegas wedding planned before we even officially announced the engagement.

Answer 6

Don't elope to Vegas. Don't you want your close family and friends to celebrate with you the most important day of your life?
Planning a wedding is very stressful, but once you get it done---you would wanna do it over and over again! And yes, it's all worth it!

Answer 7

Since it seems that you care about friends and family sharing this special day with you, then you should have the formal wedding at home. I understand the stress of everyone telling you what they think is right for your wedding. I had my two sisters and my mom telling me how I should do everything. To avoid getting to stress out, I would just not fight the small issues. Your wedding will be so much more special sharing it with you family and friends there.

Answer 8

You sound just like me. This is what I'm doing....
I just told everyone that me and my man were getting married in Vegas. If you wanna come, than come if you don't, than don't worry because we're going to have a reception as well. It's nice no hassles for me. If you show up, cool and if you don't check yeah later. I just pretty much told them be here this day and this time. If people come than that's cool and if they don't I wont be heart broken. Maybe try that root. Than nobody's upset with you because it's now their decision if they want to come or not.

Answer 9

go to vegas! I now wish I had! 71 days out from this wedding and I CAN"T WAIT FOR IT TO BE OVER WITH! have a small reception back home to include everyone, but pay for it yourselves so you can assure that it will be about the 2 of you, not mom's wishes.

Answer 10

We eloped to Vegas in 2000. We told our parents what we were going to do a week before, and told them that if they wanted to see us get married that they knew where we would be. Both sets showed up and we had a nice ceremony in Vegas. We just went before a JP, not any of the little chapels or casino chapels.

Answer 11

Elope in Vegas and have a reception when you get back w/ friends & family.