How to deal with an irritable police officer?

Question

Constantly dealing with society's trouble-makers can quickly sour any person's mood on a daily basis. The cummulative affect can make anyone generally irritable. Most people (incl. myself) have chosen poor words and actions when interacting with a cop in a bad mood. This seems to routinely complicate and escalate otherwise simple interactions with normally good citizens, and many citizens take the negativity in a personal way. It seems that most people hold the policeman completely responsible, as an officer of the peace, but I think that we have a responsibility to support them in doing a job which is psychologically very harsh and difficult.

As a police officer, what kinds of things have citizens done to improve the situation (boost morale, make you smile, build good cop-citizen relations)? Any suggestions?

Bonus follow-up question: Any tips on how to resonate/connect with an officer in a bad mood?

Some people have mentioned the value of telling the truth to the question about why you were stopped, but what about the right against self-incrimination?

Answer 1

First RESPECT the person, if you can't respect the person respect the gun they carry.

When you start the conversation, say Good day officer, can I help you?

Call them Sir, Ma'am, you don't want to lie, but you don't have to admit to anything. So tell the truth, or don't say anything at all. Be pleasant. But, if they are going to find out the truth anyway, tell them. IE you don't have insurance, just tell them, they are going to find out. If you don't have a license, tell them they're going to find out. ETC.

DON'T GO MOVING AROUND IN YOU CAR LOOKING FOR STUFF, WAIT. After they ask for you license and registration Tell, them where it is, before you reach for it. They want to go home a live too. IE my registration is in the glove box. Let me get my license out of my wallet.

Don't do thing that are unexpected. Don't say my registration is in the glove box and then reach under your seat.

Making their job as easy as you can will go a long way in making an officer's mood better.

That said, you don't have to consent to a search of your car if you don't want. You'll have to wait until, they might try to get a warrant to search you car. But you have to follow the rule and so do they.

I know a lot of people say if you don't have anything to hide you won't mind if I seach. I say sure, then you won't mind if I drive over to your house and search it first.

Be as pleasent as you can though.

Answer 2

Actually, I once had a mental health counsellor say the best thing to do when stopped by a policeman is to immediately agree with everything he/she says you did. Be pleasant, contrite, and apoligize. Make absolutely NO excuses. The police are so unused to that reaction, their reaction will often be to let you go...even if you are in the wrong (that's assuming its some minor infraction of course...don't expect that if you ran someone over). And if they do have to give you a ticket/citation, it will often be less than what you would have gotten otherwise.

Per your comment on self-incrimination: Well I guess that's one way to look at it...but the other way is, "try telling the truth for a change". If you screwed up, admit it...Just a thought.

Answer 3

I've found that most people who treated me civilly were afforded a verbal or written warning versus a ticket. Loudmouths and people who broke balls now became a full time project and would drive away (maybe) with a couple hundred dollars worth of fines.
Of course there are those out there who will sneer and say that all cops are no good and ticket-hungry but you know what? Its our way of sticking it to you. In real life if some people talked to joe average the way they talk to a cop they'd be the recipoent of a knuckle sandwich. So...as it's frowned upon that a cop can't (usually) do the same we stick you the only way we can.
However...that aside being calm, courteous and respectful will usually disarm the officer and things just may go smoother for you than they would have had you been a stiff.
I do like it when people smile and say "Hello officer". Of course there are those you walk past and they look at you, spit on the ground and then lock their eyes onto you again. Once more...those are reserved for "special projects at a later date".
Christmas time people would stop by with goodies and coffee and its nice because it makes the cops feel appreciated and wanted. I mean..everyone likes firemen. They're all our friends. Cops...we're hated because we tell you what to do...and nobody likes to be told what to do.

Treat the cop as you'd like to be treated. Even if the cop storms up to your car and lambastes you and begins acting like a real Joe Jerkoff (and yeah...we're terribly guilty of that offense I admit) sit tight...be polite and respectful. After a few moments and in most cases the cop will calm down...collect him or herself and will give you the old "Don't do it again" and leave. I admit cops acting like jerks can taint anyones opinion of police anywhere. The majority of the public has little contact with coppers and when they do that one impression makes it for every cop across the country.
As a sidenote: to you teenagers or young men and women...and this goes for black as well as white....take heed and don't give the cop any lips. Especially tell your dimwit buddies, homies or whatever you call them in the back seat to shut their mouths and let you do the talking. Would you rather deal with a lousy attitude cop that you can hopefully slip away with a small or no fine because you talked decently with him and ate alittle sh*t or get that big dollar ticket that was courtesy of your loudmouth pals? Remember...they may say afterwards "Yeah...you the man...you showed that cop" but are they saying.."Here..lets all chip in and help pay for that ticket"? Nope...they aren't are they?

Answer 4

I had the funniest article called How to deal with a police officer but I lost it to hurricane Charley. As a retired cop ,a smile, the truth & yes & no SIR works every time. Most cops can smell BS a mile away & it insults them when you try to fool them.When I did a traffic stop the first thing I ask was, do you know why I stopped you, if you played dumb like you don't know you were doing 60 in a 20, you got a ticket.

Answer 5

Act like a reasonable person and you should be fine. Don't assume that an officer is in a bad mood just because he is harsh with you. Many people need to be treated sternly or their actions escalate. Experience teaches you to end problems before they begin.

Answer 6

As most have stated, just be polite and answer our questions to the best of your ability. we are just trying to do a job that no one else wants and hates us for doing, but think about the consequences if no one did the job.

Above all else do not argue with a police officer at the scene. Especially for a traffic violation. If you do not agree with the officers assessment for the reason you were stopped, the time and place to challenge that is in court. Not on the scene.

Do not tell me who you know in the Department, or that you will have my job. We hear it all the time and it does not scare us. It just makes us upset.

Do not say you pay for my salary by paying taxes. Guess what so do I. Since I pay for my salary too, which boss am I going to listen to, you or me?

Do not ask us why aren't we out there catching real criminals? Websters defines criminal as a person guilty of a crime and defines crime as an act committed or omitted in violation of the law. So if you are speeding you are a criminal. Remember that criminals do not have a neon flashing sign saying "Arrest Me!!!" We use the smaller infractions of the law to catch the more serious offenders. For example the Oklahoma City Bomber was caught and arrested due to a traffic violation. There was no APB or BOLO out for his vehicle. It was a good officer paying attention to detail that caught him on a traffic stop.

Along those lines, remember that the officer does not know who you are. So if he treats you like a criminal by asking you simple question of where you going to, where you coming from, how long you going to stay, who is in the car with you, etc.... The officer is just trying to get a feeling of your honsety and if your up to something else. I hear it all the time on traffic stops....."Officer I would not lie to you!" Well I do not know you, and if you were going to lie to me I would suspect that you would tell me that you would not lie. I have never know a person to say "Officer I'm going to lie about the next answer."

The contacts I remember the most are the ones where the person thanks me for doing my job and admitts that he would not want to do it. I do not expect everyone to thank me for giving them a ticket, but do not blame me for the ticket. I was not the one speeding or doing what ever else it is you got stopped for. It was you. I am just doing my job and giving you the best I can for the taxes you pay.

Answer 7

Sir, I am standing up and rendering you a salute of respect!!! First, you just said how to resonate/connect with an officer and it DOES work. We are humans and subject to our own downfalls at times. We know we shouldn't harbor our own ill wills while in public but that's just not human nature. If you want the secret answer...the best I can offer is this....don't argue, show a courteous demeanor and treat him/her as you want to be treated. With communities cutting back on wages, numbers of employed officers, increases in population, which is followed by the less fortunate occurrances of crime, officers spend more time responding to offenses/incidents than they do in public relations. I do everything I can to provide a positive image of law enforcement, however, despite what some do, others will still find fault. You are certainly on a good road in life and I'd be proud to meet with you to shake your hand!! Best wishes to you!!

Answer 8

Offer him a Donut?

Just kidding.

Seriously, A very good question.

I think if more people act like you and acknowledge that the officer is just doing a job. a stressful and dangerous job. that in itself will go a long way.
I am not an officer but my brother is and he often is on Yahoo answers as well I have Emailed him this question and He will likely give a great answer. We have often talked about this very subject.
UPDATE:
LMAO Bebop. "Bad Cop. No Donut" My Brother (the cop) had that as a bumper sticker on his car and also on his ticket book!

Answer 9

simply by fact we enable this habit to happen , w would desire to enable that's primary that this habit is unacceptable and there would desire to be psychological and psychological tests achieved at popular durations , that time out delinquent behaviors and once you attain them they table you or make you paintings someplace else in another potential, yet while a police officer disrepects you're saying some thing they are YOUR worker, they paintings for you in the event that they get stupid its all our fault for permitting it and likewise they have a tendency to function interior the I wont get into problem if i'm getting caught reason all my acquaintances will returned me up properly yeah asking the fox to guard the henhouse works that way.

Answer 10

I'm not a cop, but my father and grandfather were. The thing they always told me was to treat them with the very highest level of respect. Calling them Sir or Mam, Not giving attitude or questioning why they are present, before they even get to the car turn down the radio and put out your cig, have all your Items reay (ins. card, ID, Registration) and always keep your hands where they can see them (especially at night).

*It's always good to remember that your worst day is thier everyday*