After my husband locked him in the closet he told me (the kid) that he has been getting the same treatment since he was seven. I didn't believe him, cussed him out and told my husband... then realized it was true and divorced my husband, pressing charges. The only problem is, my son ran away, and all the police are willnig to do is file a police report because he's 17. I've called all his favorite places and done just about everything I can. I've even gone neighberhood searching. Where should I START?
My husband locked him in the closet. I've searched everyhwere for him and have filed a police report but they arent taking me very seriously.
I question my ability to parent too
2007-01-12 05:35:42 · 25 answers · asked by Umm Me 1 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Parenting
I'm here again... wow... I don't know what to say. But let me just tell you that he'll come back when he realizes you're worried and he'll be able to tell. He's your son, kids know these things about their parents. As for your son, he'll be ok. He's 17 now. I remember running away when I was 13 and then again just recently (after I turned 15). I'm still alright. When he comes back sit him down and talk to him. Explain that your sorry. Explain why you didn't believe him. Explain how you were feeling at the time. Then just sit down with him and cry (it helps). Your son will understand. He'll probably be grateful to that you love him. I wish my mother would do that. I would be grateful and I'd understand too. By the way, go look for him yourself. Think about where he'd most likely be to go. Think about if you were him where would you hide to get away from the pain? Call a couple of his friends, the ones you know how to get ahold of. Explain it up a little bit. Everything will be ok, have faith in yourself. If your questioning your ability to parent maybe family cousleling would be a good option...
Good Luck...
2007-01-12 05:51:00 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 3⤊ 1⤋
There are a lot of things you should be doing such as an intensive search of unlikely ( to you at least) places. Look for him on any big city street hanging out in doorways, check out libraries in the area, bus shelters and bridge caps are also local hang outs.
The urgency I am trying to incur is from personal experience. I ran away when I was around the same age and the people that abused me and took advantage of me on the streets messed me up for a long time.
When you do find him love him firmly but fairly, listen to him and give him a shoulder to cry on. Support him, believe in him and take his side in the area of counseling.
You have a chance to save him from a lifetime of turmoil but it's going to take a long time and a lot of dedication to his physical and mental well being. Through courage and prayer you have a chance to salveage a valuable and tender human psychy
2007-01-12 05:49:43 · answer #2 · answered by antonyguido@sbcglobal.net 1 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Your husband put a 17 year old in the closet and locked him in there? that is just wrong. Has been doing that since 'the kid' was 7? You should listen to your kids. If they want to sit you down and have a conversation or they are telling you something serious, that they want to talk about then listen to them. I can't stand people that abuse kids in anyway. At any age, in any situation, whether adopted, in foster care, or if biologically yours.
Put out an 'Amber Alert' out for your son...get a pic and post posters around your neighbourhood, keep family and friends informed.
Questioning your parenting is challenging for any parents. You rely on sources, gut instincts, and common sense. I wish you luck finding your son. I have a 5 year old..he is sometimes challenging for me.
2007-01-12 07:29:54 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
OMG I didn't realize there were so many 'perfect' parents on here. Its disgusting!!
I think its great you are here trying to get more ideas on how to find him. Sorry I don't have any original ideas though. I agree with the chick who said keep calling his mates. Be more persistent than you've ever been at anything. And he probably will get cold and hungry, and sooner or later come back. After all the crap advice here, there are loads of good advice too. When he comes back to you, apologize like its the end of the world, let him know he IS loved. I don't think you can ever be told that too many times!
Don't ever forget the mistakes we make (as to not make them again) Treasure your children because you don't know when their time, or yours, will be up.
Good Luck
2007-01-12 05:56:28 · answer #4 · answered by tyreesesmum 2 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Don't take this the wrong way-YOU STUPID! If your child comes to you and tells you something like that and you curse him out then you stupid.That's just like if you had a daughter and she came to you and told you he touched her and has been doing it for years and you may do the same thing to her.That's bad.Men come a dime a dozen but your child will always be there for you no matter what! I hate that!
Yeah stop calling the police because if will look bad for him because it will be on his record for every.Just wait and worry(I say that because he now feels you're not worried because you didn't believe him in the first place).He will come home because whomever he is with will get tired of him and he will come home.Try putting his paper in the paper and ask have you seen him.
2007-01-12 05:50:54 · answer #5 · answered by qtpie34 2 · 1⤊ 2⤋
Unless your son is a star athlete, the police will do nothing. My nephew ran away at that age, about the same time as another boy in his class. The other boy was a star basketball player and they had a huge manhunt for him. But for my nephew, they just shrugged their shoulders. My sister went around to all his friends getting clues, and finally located him in another city. She found a vacant building where homeless people sleep, and recognized his backpack. She plonked herself down and eventually he showed up. I hope you find him. Maybe someday he will understand you are a flawed person like everyone else.
2007-01-12 05:43:53 · answer #6 · answered by Kacky 7 · 4⤊ 1⤋
he's 17. he will be fine. when he gets cold and hungry he will come back. he is almost grown so i wouldnt worry about him to much. He will come home as long as you didnt hurt him or U didnt do anything to him. He'll need money or something sooner or later. stay away from your husband...show your kids he is #1.
2007-01-12 05:39:47 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 3⤊ 0⤋
At 17 he's free to leave especially a crappy home. Nothing you or anyone can do if he does not want to be there. Start treating him as the young adult he is if he does contact you.
2007-01-12 05:43:32 · answer #8 · answered by badmikey4 4 · 2⤊ 1⤋
I think its a little too late to start questioning your parenting ability. If your son is 17, he'll probably be fine on his own. I think that if you are in his life, he will be worse off. You've already done enough damage. If he feels like seeing you again, he'll come home.
2007-01-12 05:40:13 · answer #9 · answered by bewitching_green_fairy 3 · 2⤊ 2⤋
Tell every one and dicribe him. Put up sighns. He might be hiding, so you might want to put it on the radio and hope he will here it. Also, find something he likes and say you will give it to him if he comes back. Or go to court or the president.
2007-01-12 07:10:15 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋