Well i got a promotion and I am now getting payed a lot more than him.... I dont mind paying for things but he get really upset... I dont know how to tell him with out getting into and agrument..
Last time I got a raise he told me that we shouldnt be together and that i deserve better and he just get really bad for months???
take in mind that we live together...how should i tell him?
2007-01-12 05:23:18 · 17 answers · asked by Just ME 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
you should be proud of you accomplishments and not have to hid them, if you boyfriend takes this personal then he is wrong, you didn't do or get this deliberately, you worked hard for the promotion and pay raise, He needs to get over his insecurities and maybe he will feel better about himself and will do a bit better in the employment world, as low self esteem will hold you back, if you do not think you deserve something you will loose it even if it is handed to you. I know I was the same way. I always believed that I was not worthy, and finally I convinced every one else, sounds stupid, because I always wondered why I never got any where, and yes even complained about it, until some one pointed out to me that I was the one that said I was not worthy, when in fact I was the hardest worker in the place
2007-01-12 05:35:33 · answer #1 · answered by rkilburn410 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
tell him you got promoted to a different position but dont' mention the raise, if you two are going to be together he'll need to get over the money thing eventually. However you should be supportive in all he does, maybe he's frusterated he's not moving up in his company or he feels his job is dead end..... maybe save up and take the two of you on a vaca and say it was a bonus or whatever, so he's not mad but you two get to do something nice together....
2007-01-12 13:28:33 · answer #2 · answered by Jess B 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It sounds as though your live-in boyfriend has significant personal problems with self-esteem, taking any sign of your "being better" than him (making more money being a prime gauge of that) as a threat.
I'd suggest making concrete-certain that your finances are not entertwined (i.e., no joint accounts) and that the place you live in is either leased in just your name or is your home. Sooner or later it will become obvious to him that you're " yet again " making more than he is, which challenges his antique perception about " being a man ", apparently something he copes with VERY poorly.
He needs to grow up and deal with it, not pout and sulk for months like a child.
2007-01-12 13:30:52 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
If he's that insecure, he needs counseling. It doesn't say much about your relationship if he's basing it on who makes how much money and not your feelings for each other.
Let him know about the promotion, but don't get into the money issue if he doesn't bring it up...after all, one would assume a promotion means more money so he can figure that much out for himself. Hopefully he'll be happy for you and not go back to playing the "I'm not worthy" game.
2007-01-12 13:28:13 · answer #4 · answered by . 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You have much bigger problems than this. If the two of you live together, and can't be supportive of each other in every way you need to rethink the whole relationship. He has some serious self esteem issues.
2007-01-12 13:28:15 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Don't tell him. Just put the extra money aside for emergencies, christmas, whatever. Sounds like he needs a boost with the responsibility thing.
2007-01-12 13:27:14 · answer #6 · answered by H.B.K. 2 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Tell him. And be honest and straightforward, a woman as right more than a man to have a promotion. You should be proud of yourself and especially him. Good luck.
2007-01-12 13:29:49 · answer #7 · answered by Jo-Jo 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
dump your boyfriend; he is obviously a loser. why are you dating some guy who makes less than you? you are more of a go getter than this loser. i say dump him and find someone w/ your education level and ambition that way your children will be great also. don't waste your time sweet heart eventually your vagina will wear out and no real man will want you then all you have left is that loser. good luck
2007-01-12 13:28:58 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Say, "Hey, i got promoted. Now I'm making even more money than before."
2007-01-12 13:28:17 · answer #9 · answered by Docta Jones 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
he should be proud of you for getting promoted .i dont know why he would act like that. he must have a lot of insecurities. congrats on your promotion. i,m sure you have worked hard to get it.
2007-01-12 13:31:17 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋