My GF recently began talking to her abusive ex boyfriend who she had arrested twice. She never told me that she was talking to him again, why would she start talking to an abusive ex again? If you had an abusive ex would you ever speak to them again? any suggestions would be great thanks
2007-01-12 05:18:14 · 34 answers · asked by go away 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
you may wanna reconsider your relationship with her
some women are adicted to abuse and she may try to force you into it
she needs counseling asap
2007-01-12 05:20:37 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 4⤊ 1⤋
1) ABUSERS don't exchange. Abusers are like radioactive waste. The best way to keep them from hurting you is to avert all contact with them. It's just that easy. He'll certainly not see you as a man or women and will continually see you as an emotional dumpster. The one intent he is high-quality to you is considering he needs to entice you into letting your preserve down. 2) "I think so by myself and now not desired or cared for ......." i do not figuring out why you feel your ex truly desires you as a person or cares about the way you believe. He desires a helpless sufferer. He will get indignant the minute you stop appearing like one. Abusers don't seem to be worried concerning the emotions of others, so some thing he said to that outcome was once a lie. If he truely cared he wouldn't abuse and manipulate you in the first location. My recommendation is to put some effort into making some new associates. Do you adore dancing? Take some dancing lessons. Or take some yoga courses. Movements like which might be good for self-self belief. You must make it a purpose to speak to persons after classification and try to get to understand them. I know that you as a rule consider that you simply cannot believe someone. If that is so, that is variety of ironic when you consider that about ninety eight out of one hundred humans you'd meet on the avenue are more reliable, sort-hearted and extra secure than your abusive ex.
2016-08-10 11:53:40 · answer #2 · answered by gaudioso 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I assume she does it because she feels she has to talk to him to survive or it is because she still loves him and is thinking about getting back together with him.
Sometimes it is hard to get rid of someone like that, especially if they are abusive. My ex, he was like this, he went to jail so many times I've lost count, for stuff related to abusing me. He would not go away, no matter if the police had just been to the house, even if I had told everything on him for him to be caught out again and the police were now looking for him. He would hide out in the woods or where ever he could, and slip up when i least expected, not once, but several times over several days, at all hours of the day and night. Sometimes it would seem easier to just start talking to him again, at least at that time i knew where he would be at, and knew he would not be doing mean things to me, like trashing my car for example. People like that have a tendancy to get what they want, one way or another, and sometime, you have to deal with this any way you can. The best thing for her to do is stop having contact with him, although it will be hard to understand how to do this at first. As long as she continues to talk, it makes him believe there is still hope.
2007-01-12 05:32:09 · answer #3 · answered by christinedaae 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
She shouldnt be talking to him. However, some people can't get over their exes, and some girls for some random reason like the abusive men. I don't kow what would ever possess her to speak to the man she had arrested twice, but if she is then she probably isn't over him. I would talk to her about it, tell her you know they are talking and ask her why she would want to let him back in her life (in any form friend, acquiantence, etc). If you get the vibe that she isn't truly over him I say get out... bc otherwise you will get dragged into their dysfunctionality.
Good luck!
2007-01-12 05:23:39 · answer #4 · answered by Heart of Gold 3 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Sounds like your friend is co-dependent. Maybe she feels because he was such a jerk she really needs his approval. Or maybe if she not being abused she doesn't feel loved. Some people are like that. She might need psychological some help. If I had an abusive ex, I would definitely not speak to him again. One arrest would have been more then enough for me. Try and talk to her. Ask her why she is doing it and remind her of why she needs to stay away from him.
2007-01-12 05:23:37 · answer #5 · answered by Tracy G 3 · 0⤊ 2⤋
You need to walk away; you are trying to make sense of something that doesn't, the world is full of it. Somehow these people lack a soul and think nothing of harming someone else, and in her case, she thinks she needs this in her life.
The thing is, you stick around and you will get hurt, either in your spirit or physically when these wing-nuts get in a confrontation.
Look at it this way, you don't know what you've got till its gone and that is exactly what will happen, give her a chance to realize what she had and now doesn't. Maybe she'll break the cycle and you two will end up together in the long run.
Step back, get whole and get strong.
2007-01-12 05:27:03 · answer #6 · answered by OPTIMIST 4 · 1⤊ 1⤋
My ex was abusive and I stayed around because I was young, dumb, full of *** and had LOW self-esteem thanks to him. It's a growing process, when she matures, she'll realize there is no type of healthy relationship with an abuser. I haven't talked to that dumb @$$ punk in years, and don't plan on it. Eventually, he's either gonna beat her @$$ again or she'll leave him alone before it gets there. But honey, if she hasn't bumped her head enough, there isn't anything you can say or do to make her stop talking to him. Pray for her, she's gonna need it!
2007-01-12 05:22:06 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋
I have to talk to my old abusive ex-husband but the only reason is we have 2 kids together.I would never talk to mine due to they are called an ex for a reason.Wonder if her ex told her he had changed,I had an old ex say that and I went back to him thinking it was true.After moving back in with the guy I found myself sliding up the wall with his hand around my neck.Ask her.....Learn my example
2007-01-12 05:24:14 · answer #8 · answered by Dawn l 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Maybe it is battered woman syndrome. Battered women are reduced to such a low self-esteem that they think they have done something wrong and deserve to be abused. She may have this problem deep-down and feels guilty about what she did to "bring on" the abuse. This situation could turn out really bad; I would let her family and friends know that she is talking to him again, and I would definitely confront her about the situation.
2007-01-12 05:22:09 · answer #9 · answered by duritzgirl4 5 · 2⤊ 1⤋
Girl has a lot of issues be careful. That dudes an abusive ex and if he gets jealous it may come your way in threats, physical violence or worse.
She is talking to him because she honestly thinks she can do no better than him or worse that she in some way deserves to be treated like that
2007-01-12 05:21:36 · answer #10 · answered by cisco_cantu 6 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Sounds like she has some issues that need to be addressed. Alot of times, people who are in an abusive relationship tend to go back. Low self esteem. Talk reasonably and NON-AGRESSIVELY to her about it and see what happens.
2007-01-12 05:21:25 · answer #11 · answered by H.B.K. 2 4 · 3⤊ 0⤋