Stress reducers or something I can do to relax when the kids are DRIVING ME NUTS?

Question

My step kids were diagnosed ADHD this week. I thought I was going crazy and that my feelings were unwarrented because they are "just kids". Now it seems that I am frusterated, and anxious for a reason. Those kids are UNCONTROLLABLE! Medically! So... I need a list of stress reducers or things I can do to relax when I'm being asked 20 questions a minute. Please help.

I find that I am "self medicating" by having a small drink when I find myself losing it... then the frusteration goes away, and I have fun with the kids... BUT THIS IS STUPID. Drinking and watching kids DO NOT WORK! Please help.

Answer 1

You need to go on a rollercoaster.

It will help you to see the similarity between ife and an amusement park.

You should know this.

Life does not just go round and round. It goes up and down as well and that is what makes a rollercoaster so thrilling at times. You have to learn to enjoy the good and the bad equally. They accentuate each other.

I know you meditate, and do yoga, and exercise so throw those ideas out. They are not doing you any good. Try having fun. Somethings just have to be experienced and not controlled. You will get through it and be happy that the ride sees over, and then you will go again.

Here is your exercise for the day. Ask yourself: "What is good out of this situation?" and focus on that goodness to find a good feeling in your life.

And if that does not work, find someone to share your misery. It helps to distract you.

Answer 2

Alcohol. :) My kids don't have ADHD and they are making me nuts. They've been home with me for 3 weeks and we're about to kill each other!! I told them that I was going to drop them off at school on Tuesday and go have a drink!! ;) Of course I'm kidding, but don't think I haven't considered it...but I'm pregnant and my oldest told me she would call the police if I had a drink. hehehehehehe

I think the best way is to try to keep them busy with activities, etc, to reduce the stress to begin with. As for you and relaxing, try a hot bath at night the drink of your choice, weather it be wine or a Pepsi. Try stretching and breathing in the morning and whenever you feel stressed. Just remove yourself from the situation for a few minutes to get yourself calmed down then you can deal better with the kids.

I'm an extremely stressful person. I stress easily and often and I use the stretching and breathing technique a lot to get through a day. No particular workout or order, I just go in the other room and maybe spend 3-5 minutes stretching my muscles and taking many deep breaths while I do it.

Hope that helps and hang in there! And even if the kids weren't diagnosed with ADHD, after being couped up for a while they're going to go nuts. I can't say that I blame they...like you said, they are "just kids" ADHD or not.

Answer 3

First thing to do is take a deep breath when you start feeling anxious. Concentrate on your breathing until you calm down. I know exactly how you feel, but it's important to remember you're the adult and things will only get worse if you don't relax. Tak a mommy time out if you need moe time to calm down.

I think alcohol is perfectly acceptable if it's close to bedtime and you want to relax. However, I wouldn't recommend drinking it in the morning or afternoon when things get stressful.

Talk to your doctor about it. There are anxiety medications you can take if necessary.

Make sure you get some alone time each day. You have to take care of yourself. Pick an activity you enjoy and do it alone - read, take a bath, meditate, watch TV, listen to music, exercise, surf the net, etc. You need at least 15 minutes per day. I know that doesn't seem like much, but it is better than nothing.

Most importantly, focus on your breathing. This will calm you down immediately.

Answer 4

It sounds like you need some "me" time. See if you can find a drop-in nursery in your area. You'll be able to let them play with other kids, but you can go have a relaxing lunch, get a pedicure, or go home and enjoy the quiet.

If you need a quick breather because you can't get out of the house, try hiding (no, seriously, find a room where the kids aren't, and hide). Pound on a pillow if you're frustrated, turn up the music in your bedroom and scream for a sec.

Then: see what you can do to help them with their ADHD. There might be some therapeutic options (OT, PT, speech therapy) that will help them learn to control themselves better. If you have a Children's Hospital in the area, see what you can find out about therapy.

We're all pulling for you! Good luck!

Answer 5

Alcohol is a big no no especially if your feeling overwhelmed already.. its a stimuliant and may make you feel good for a bit but won't fix the problem if anything it'll only bring on the negative feelings stronger. Im a single mother of 3..One of which is a special needs child (cerebral palsey and hydrochephelus) and a very active toddler.. so i can imagine what you are going thru.. even if they're not asking me 20 questions a minute.. I feel your pain haha.. When im to my point of going insane(lol).. I hide in the room and just take a breather for 20mins. or i call up family members or my home support worker to come help me out by taking them over night or to just take at least 1of them out for the day. Depending on were u live there is services and funding available for parental relief for children with disabilities. Check out the childrens hospital nearest you or research on the net what services are available in your area. Its hard to get going but once the funding is put in place it helps alot!!!.. You said these are your step children? Were are the biological parents in all of this and what are they doing to help? Things would be alot easier of sharing the responsability between all 3 of you insted of just 1.. Maybe a family meeting is in order huh?

Take Care

Answer 6

Not only that but you may start to develop a problem and they you will really have problems on your hands. Maybe you can read a book. I have a daycare and I know what you mean about the stress. I sometimes when it gets bad have to take a little time out its not a real time out I can't leave the kids of cource but I pick up a book or magazine and try to zone out of what is going on a little usually around this time I will sit the kids down with play doh or have them paint or color. Walk out of the room do something go to the bathroom and sit on the toilet for 5 miniutes you really sometimes just need a break.

Answer 7

u said Kids as in more than 1. I would talk w/ur spouse and say maybe some alternatives can be reached. 1. 1@ a time for you.1 goes to babysitter or that they go to a kids program (scouts) 2.Medication for them (I don't like this 1) 3.Spouse has to help more b/c they just have more demands.4. Be more energetic & give ea & every kid in the house a chore or prodjects that can be alternated so they don't burn-out quickly.Get imaginary earmuffs & tell kids we talk & ask quest. when all tasks are done!Even assining them to watch a movie you will ask details. What color was the house??They must learn boundaries you are reading, cooking etc.. when they are on assignments!!!

Answer 8

The most important thing is to relax your expectations of having a perfect, orderly household. Most of your stress is probably due to trying to keep things orderly.

If noise bothers you, then you should get an MP3 player and play whatever music puts you in a good mood. Or at least wear earplugs.

Other than that, the rambunctious time for kids only lasts a couple years. I know it feels like eternity, but just lower your expectations, enjoy the chaos, and just concentrate on providing kids with love, health and learning.

Answer 9

I have a quiet time at my house. One of my kids needs a nap, but my daughter doesn't take naps anymore. So when my son goes down for his nap, she has to have a quiet time in her room or if I'm babysitting she goes into my room and watches a movie or reads books, but she can't play and she has to stay in bed. This way I get atleast an hour a day to myself without kids around me. When I babysit for more than one kid, they are spread out thru my livingroom, but they have to stay laying down where they are and quiet. Otherwise, I turn off the movie and they can't talk. I look forward to my quiet times, if I don't get one I'm cranky! Don't feel bad about the drink, I get that way too and I feel guilty just the same! A drink once in awhile isn't going to hurt anyone.

Good luck!

Answer 10

Just deal and get them to bed EARLY. I have 3 kids (they dont have ADHD) they are all in bed by 7:30 - 8:00. Then i have the rest of the night to myself!!!!! I feel for you... kids are tough as it is. Just dont lose it on them. Try to give them attention. Put in a movie ... sit them down for a snack. Crafts are always fun and kids get involved with their work. Try to involve them in whatever you can. Separating them for a while helps too. Let them have their own time for themselves. Also warn them ahead of time for things "Bed time 10 mins" Dinner 10 mins" So there are no surprises and you can avoid the NOW thing lol. Good Luck !!