I met this guy (let’s call him tom*) two and half years ago, and I fell hard for him the moment I met him. It’s weird because when he would be upset - I would go home and cry, when he got hurt – I was the one who felt the pain. Its like it felt his emotions and I would have done (and still will) do ANYTHING for him i.e. going out of my way to mail his letters, letting him borrow my mp3, going up and down lots of stairs to open the back door for him. Anything he asks I will do. About a yr ago he cheated on his girlfriend with me and a friend of mine (we were all friends and didn’t even know he was doing this!!). I ended up getting pregnant, I miscarried b/c of the stress and I never told him b/c he played us all. I hate to admit and I afterward I hated him for it because I thought he finally wanted to be with me. (He didn’t know and still doesn’t know how I really feel about him, and I can’t tell him either) so as I was hating him, I came to the realization that I loved him and as fiercely as I hated him, I also loved him in the same manner... crazy right? How can you hate some and love them at the same time? After all the drama Tom and I became friends again because I couldn’t stand to lose him out of my life (even if that meant just being a friend, knowing that he would never like me that way).so for about a 1yr and a half we’ve been living in a friendship/flirting type of atmosphere (because I still hope that one day we’ll be together.. pathetic I know)and just the other night, I was presented with an opportunity to be with him again and I leaped at the chance (stupid I know but the thought of falling asleep and waking up in his arms is what really, really wanted) at the very last moment he changed his mind and I was crushed. On Monday he’s leaving to go to basic training and I won’t see him for 6 months and when he comes back he may be going to Iraq. I can’t keep playing these games where he seems like he likes me and then he doesn’t. I am terribly attached him and cant cut him out of my life even though that’s probably whats good for me. helpppp me! I just don’t know what to do! Has this ever happened to you?
2007-01-12 04:47:25 · 10 answers · asked by abr0k3n_h3art3d1 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Sorry to say, but you have to get over this guy. All he's doing is making your life harder. He's just a player who uses women. You need to find someone else. When you do find another guy then it'll be easier to leave him. By waiting around you're just making things harder for yourself. You'll probably always have a place for him in your heart but it would make your life a whole lot easier if you found someone else to take up a bigger part, that way you can lock him away and move on.
2007-01-12 04:54:53 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋
I think you already know the answer to your question. Read over your question again. Take a look at every time you confess your love for him. You call it "pathetic," "crazy," you say that letting him go is "what's good for me."
You know that you need to get him out of your system. You just don't want to.
Being attached to somebody you've been intimate with is normal. Infatuation is normal. Love/hate drama just creates more stress in your life than you really need. Take a breath. You deserve to be in love with somebody who knows you're in love and then loves you right back. This guy has too much on his plate to focus on a relationship right now, and he doesn't sound like a very mature individual anyway. Let him go, wave good-bye, cry a little, and then go buy yourself a huge bouquet of flowers.
You'll find somebody better who honestly loves you. Be patient.
2007-01-12 12:57:07 · answer #2 · answered by KD 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
awww...the trappings of youth! YOU know exactly what to do. You even know how stupid this whole thing is. He wanted to be with you that last time for sex not relationship. Don't you get it? He's not interested in you. He has his own goals in life and from the sound of it you need to move on, of course you won't because your living some novel in your head, and you would rather live in that reality than the truth. However, you need to move on. this guy is a loser and he will change, and never fall madly in love with you. He has other goals. By the way, the only things sticky about this situation are the bed sheets.
2007-01-12 13:12:45 · answer #3 · answered by pansyskunk 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
This has NEVER happened to me because I never allowed it.
I'm married, just so you know that I have selected someone who will actually be stimulating for me, that I could talk to and that we could give each other unique insights into things because we think differently.
You don't seem like a challenge at all and I could see your future being VERY boring since you're such a pushover and comply with everything.
Sorry to say, he's never going to treat you right because you already KNOW in your mind that you are being (to use your own words) pathetic and stupid. He knows that. I don't think he wants to deal with all the drama all over again.
Why are you that way? I think you have a case of Obsessive Compulsion Disorder.
You are capable of doing anything you CHOSE to do.
No one is holding you back, just yourself. I you make the decision to break away, eventually you'll realize how bad this situation is.
2007-01-12 13:01:33 · answer #4 · answered by Querida 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋
you really need to let this guy go and move on with your life. His previous actions have said alot about his character.Maybe he just needs time to grow up and mature or maybe he's your typical cheater. you are trying to build a relationship on ground that is not only shaky, but literally falling apart. the guy is leaving and who knows what is going to happen when he goes to Iraq. While he is gone for 6 months make every effort to move ahead with your life and find someone who deserves you. Sometimes what we want in life isn't what we need. Pray on the matter and leave it n God's hands, ask Him for the strength to get you through this and when you least expect it the right guy for you will come along. Good luck and I pray all works out the best way for you.
2007-01-12 12:59:51 · answer #5 · answered by softlyinspired 5 · 1⤊ 1⤋
This doesn't sound like the kind of man you would want to have a lasting relationship with because how will you kow if he won't cheat on you, just like he cheated on the other girl. There was a guy that I loved the most I had ever loved, but I'm glad that I didn't get together with him, because looking back, I can see that he was a very unstable person. That's not the kind of man a girl whould go for.
2007-01-12 12:55:37 · answer #6 · answered by Eryn 2 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Okay i hate to tell you but you have to let him go. I am kinda going through the same thing. My boyfriend likes to be very abusive with me. Calls me names everyday and he has cheated on me. I have left him many times and i have put him in jail also. My friends like to flirt with him in front of my face, and i do not trust them. Same friends are telling me to leave him. My family hates him and wishes i would move on but i live with him... it's hard i kno... but you have to move on find a hobby like hanging out with new people.. The right guy that you deserve will come along... You deserve the best and that's what you should settle for and maybe him leaving is the best for you, it might be a chance to grow away from him.... girl i wish you the best of luck... Be strong the pain will go away!!!!
2007-01-12 12:58:06 · answer #7 · answered by That girl 1 · 1⤊ 1⤋
yeah about loving and hating someone AT THE SAME TIME, I have felt that. Not the most comfortable thing to do, to say the least. Your best bet in this situation is to just relax, take a deep breath, and go with the flow. Time can be the best healer in this situation.
2007-01-12 12:52:23 · answer #8 · answered by Sultan Cartman 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋
It's time to move on. Too much drama, and you already know that.
2007-01-12 13:02:19 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
I'll tell you what I can do for you honey.
When your boyfriend goes away to war, give me a call and I'll come over and be your new friend until he gets back.....OK ;-)
2007-01-12 12:53:17 · answer #10 · answered by huckleberry 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋