Okay I'm not a V but I'm not an expert. I like to talk trash and I love it for my bf to touch me BUT I'm almost scared when it comes down to me having to do something. I want to because i want to please him to but i cant really explain why i feel like that but i do. I get kinda timid and shy. I know that i should be doing SOMETHING but I'm scared. What if i dont do the right thing or what if I mess up..... any advise on how to brave up and make my man love my attention in return for his works.....
2007-01-12 04:19:13 · 21 answers · asked by Kathryn N 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
fear is groundless,...
go with the flow and use protection.
2007-01-12 04:22:26 · answer #1 · answered by iroc 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hi,
Believe it our not, your concern is not uncommon. It is the manifestation of the same fear, or concern people have for public speaking. It is less related to anything sexual as it is to being competent, comfortable, in control and having a positive performance or result.
For a moment, remove yourself from the sexuality of the situating and examine the problem rationally.
You care for your partner, you want to please him, but are afraid you are not competent and may not perform well or have the desired result.
Logically, it's a good thing you are not a professional in these matters, right! If you knew all the answer and had enough practice to perfect them you probably would not be the person your BF cares about.
Sexual touch is a funny thing, what one person like another does not. The best way to overcome the anxiety or scared feeling you have, is to open channes of communication. Talk about it. You are familiar enough to be engaged in the act to want to do it and want to please him. Hopefully the feeling is reciperical. It is imposible to know for sure what the other is feeling, wat they want or wuld like without talking about it.
During exploration, you can actually highten the experience buy sharing what it is that each would like and giving guidance to your partener. It allows the reciever to focus the giver on particularlly peasurable sesations and gives each the confedence that they are indeed helping the other. In addtion, knowing that each other has the permission of the other to help the other is a tremendous stress relief for both parties and can allow you to reach a whole new level of inamacy and pleasure.
That trust and intiamacy that allows one to go from "scared" to fulfillment is really just a matter of communication and can turn a fun but anxious encounter into one that only having the experience can describe.
Best of encounters to you!
2007-01-12 13:20:28 · answer #2 · answered by MtnManInMT 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
well, girl its simple really.Remember the first time you rode a bike and were afraid of falling and getting hurt? I know this is a completely different subject matter but the outline is still the same.You see everything in life takes a little patience with yourself.
The best way to start is to go slow.Close your eyes and start gradual and feed off of his reactions.The more "good" reactions you recieve the more comfortable you will feel and then proceed a little "better".No one starts off at anything as a pro,so neither will you.But if you guys love each other than that is truly where the real pleasure starts and ends.Use those feelings you have inside to be your guide and dont think about it so much,Just do and it will all work out.
I bet after the 5th time you will wonder what it was you wee so afraid of.
Good luck and...P.S,Just always curl the upper lip under a little but keep it kinda relaxed and the rest will be a breeze.
2007-01-12 12:27:37 · answer #3 · answered by vmaxer85 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well You can get a book on what to do and they are pretty good at guiding you in things. The other thing is since you seem to have a very good communicative aspect with your man then talk to him ask him what he likes. Then have him guide you tell him you know I can say it but I'm a little scared as to what to do here . Just be honest it is good to talk about you sexual relationship so you will both know what each other likes. Always know too that beginnings are hard, so getting stared will be tough but once you get going you will start to relax and enjoy things and know if he is too. Get feed back from him as well guys are pretty open when it comes to the sexual part of things and if you mess up on some thing don't worry about it happens he might not even notice, just move on and don't think about it.. It does get easier the more in tune you are with your self and partner and its OK to be a little shy. Have fun and be safe
2007-01-12 12:32:18 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I had the same issues. Just be honest with him. Tell him you don't know why but it's intimidating to you. Then ask him to tell you how to do certain things he might want. That way you can know for sure if you're doing it right or not. You know he wont mind at all because you've opened the door to being instructed by him. He wont have to suffer in silence over bad oral or whatever like a lot of guys.
2007-01-12 12:23:50 · answer #5 · answered by Phaylynn 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I was like that, too. Age has something to do w/ it. I used to have sex and never want to look at "it". I fell in love and everything about him is a turn on. It's easy when you're in love because you don't have to worry about being judged. Trust me, any sensation down there for him, is a good one! You don't have to be an expert or a deep throat! Gag reflex is common!
2007-01-12 12:23:54 · answer #6 · answered by Pattie T 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Allow it to happen naturally. If you show that your not into it or comfortable it will just ruin the moment. So wait until you are able to do so with feelings and emotions. It may be due to your age, or previous experiences also. Good luck in overcoming this natural fear.
2007-01-12 12:24:49 · answer #7 · answered by crazylegs 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I was like this at first, but when you find someone you trust, it becomes much easier for you to try new things. You'll still be scared, but the only way to get over it is to do it. You won't become experienced without the experience.
2007-01-12 12:22:46 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
does he know that you are a little shy about sex?
if he doesnt you should sit and let him know what is going on maybe he will let you know what he does like and you will be more comfortable with the whole sich.
i speak from experience in the matter i was the same way!
2007-01-12 12:24:36 · answer #9 · answered by ASHLEY D 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I was going to say almost exactly what "AssFace" just said. Add to that ... there's not likely anything you can do "wrong" when touching your lover... just try to follow his lead, touch him in a similar way to how he touches you and he'll probably love it. You will get better as time goes on, trust me.
2007-01-12 12:27:10 · answer #10 · answered by Debbie B 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
My guess is that your man will be very pleased whatever you do. He will love the attention and he will love you for trying.
Ask him to tell you or show you how to do it.
Reading books can help, but that won't tell you what your man likes - only he can do that.
Go girl!!!
2007-01-12 12:27:54 · answer #11 · answered by Suzita 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋