1 joke should not extend more than 6 lines. the shortest and superhit joke will get maximum credit.
2007-01-12 03:47:27 · 14 answers · asked by pithu is cool 1 in Entertainment & Music ➔ Jokes & Riddles
Q:Why are crows black?
A:Because they do not have money to buy Fair and Lovely.
2007-01-12 21:46:56 · answer #1 · answered by Abdul Kalam 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
A new priest at his first mass was so nervous he could hardly speak. After mass he asked the monsignor how he had done.
The monsignor replied, “When I am worried about getting nervous on the pulpit, I put a glass of vodka next to the water glass. If I start to get nervous, I take a sip.”
So next Sunday he took the monsignor’s advice. At the beginning of the sermon, he got nervous and took a drink.
He proceeded to talk up a storm. Upon his return to his office after the mass, he found the following note on the door:
1. Sip the vodka, don’t gulp.
2. There are 10 commandments, not 12.
3. There are 12 disciples, not 10.
4. Jesus was consecrated, not constipated.
5. Jacob wagered his donkey, he did not bet his @ss.
6. We do not refer to Jesus Christ as the late J.C.
7. The Father, Son, and Holy Ghost are not referred to as Daddy, Junior and the spook.
8. David slew Goliath; he did not kick the sh*t out of him.
9. When David was hit by a rock and was knocked off his donkey, don’t say he was stoned off his @ss.
10. We do not refer to the cross as the “Big T.”
11. When Jesus broke the bread at the last supper he said, “Take this and eat it for it is my body.” He did not say “Eat me”.
12. The Virgin Mary is not called “Mary with the Cherry”.
13. The recommended grace before a meal is not: Rub-A-Dub-Dub thanks for the grub, Yeah God.
14. Next Sunday there will be a taffy pulling contest at St. Peter’s not a peter pulling contest at St. Taffy’s.
2007-01-12 04:08:03 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 7⤊ 1⤋
Sardar comes back 2 his car & finds a note saying "Parking Fine"
He writes a note and sticks it 2 pole "Thanks 4 d complement"
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Once a Sardar was walking and had a glove on one hand and not on other
so the man asked him why did he do so? He replied that the weather
forecast announced that on one hand it would be cold and on the other
hand it would be hot.
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Sardarji bought a brand new Maruti and decided to drive down from
Amritsar , where he lived, to Jalandar to meet his friend. He reached
there in a few hours. After spending a few days there, he decided to
return, and called up his mother to expect him in the evening. But he
didn't reach in the evening and not the next day either. When he finally
reached home on the third day, his distraught mother ran and asked him "
Arre Puttar, ki hoya?"
The Sardarji got out, obviously very tired from a long journey, and
said, "Oy, ye Marutti wale pagal hain, agge jaane waaste chaar gear
banaate hain, aur pichche jaane waaste sirf ik?"
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Teacher: Can you tell me something about Raja Ram Mohan Roy?
Saradji: They were 4 best friends..!
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Sardar to Shopkeeper: - Mujhe India Ka Flag Dikhao,
Shopkeeper ne Flag Dikhaya,
Sardar: - Isme aur Colour Dikhao.
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How can a Sardar Kill a Lion? Sardarji thinks N thinks hard & comes to a
conclusion: I'll drink poison n let lion eat me. O' bolo ta ra ra.
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Sardar : Sitting on The Top of the Mountain and Studying.... When a
Person asked what he was doing.... He replied... Oye!! Higher Studies
Yaar...!!!
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What is Common between: Krishna , Ram, Gandhi ji & Jesus..?
Sardar ji Replied: All are born on Government Holidays.
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Santa : That Cow is a Lovely Colour ,
Farmer : Yes, it's a Jersey
Santa: Oh, I thought it was its Skin...!!!
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Sardar Son: O God! Please make New York the capital of Punjab .
Sardar: Why are you praying for that?
Sardar Son: That is what I have written in my exam.
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1 - Interviewer: what is your birth date?
Sardar: 13th October
Which year?
Sardar : Oye ullu ke pathe _ _ _ EVERY YEAR
2 - Teacher to Sardar: Write your best friend's name in English.
Sardar wrote: ' Beautiful Red Underwear'
Teacher: What?
Sardar: His name is Sundar Lal Sheddy
3 - Manager asked to sardar at an interview
Can you spell a word that has more than 100 letters in it?
Sardar replyed: -P-O-S-T-B-O- X.
4 - After returning back from a foreign trip, sardar asked his wife,
Do I look like a foreigner?
Wife: No! Why?
Sardar: In London a lady asked me Are you a foreigner?
5 - One tourist from U.S.A. asked to Sardar: Any great man born in this village???
Sardar: no sir, only small Babies!!!
6 - Lecturer: write a note on Gandhi Jayanthi
So Sardar writes, "Gandi was a great man, but I don't know who is jayanthi.
7 - Sardar was doing experiment with cockroach, first he cut it's one leg and told
WALK. WALK. Cockroach walked. Then he cut it's second leg and told the same. Cockroach walked. Then cut the third leg and did the same. At last he cut it's fourth leg and ordered it walk! But cockroach didn't walked. Suddenly sardar said loudly, " I found it. If we cut cockroach's four legs, it becomes deaf.
8- Sardar went in a hotel. To wash hands he went to the washbasin. There he started washing the basin. Seeing this the manager asked what was he doing. Sardar pointed towards the board "WASH BASIN"
9 - Interviewer: just imagine your in 3rd floor, it caught fire and how will you escape?
Sardar : its simple. I will stop my imagination! !!
Boss to assisstent: Keep that sardar busy for a while when I'm attending my conference!
assisstent: Your Majesty! sir!
Assisstent had gained victory over it! (keeping the sardar busy)
can you believe what he did?
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He put the sardar in a circular roo and told him to find the corner!
If you din't laugh at this joke then scroll down!!
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You had to laugh right now!!
Laugh now he he he he he he he !!!!
-1-
Child : (returning from his cricket match in his compound) "Mom mom ", can I have an apple?
Mom: But you just ate one.
Child : An apple a day keeps the doctor away and I just broke his window.
-2-
Child : (returns home after getting her report card)
Mother:whats your final grade?
Child : Underwater
Mother : what does that mean?
Child: Below C LEVEL
-3-
(Bollywood joke)
Jo and SO went to a forest for a trip. They saw a lion. Why did JO get scared and SO die?
Ans:- JO dar gaya SO mar gaya.
PLEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAASE RATE IT
2007-01-13 00:54:39 · answer #3 · answered by Raven 6 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Son: Mom, when I was on the bus with Dad this morning, he told me to give up my seat to a lady.
Mom: Well, you have done the right thing.
Son: But mom, I was sitting on daddy's lap.
2007-01-12 17:30:18 · answer #4 · answered by тн¡иК™ツ- proud ¡иd¡αи 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
hope u'll laugh on that.not so funny.
a boy was very intelligent in childhood so when he grew up he went to England for studing science. he made a medicine for age like if u eat that u'll become 20 years younger than u r present age.he send those madicine to his parents.after than,when he went to india he met a women with a child.he asked that women that who is she ,then she answered "oh oh ! i m ur mother."
he shocked and asked than where is his father .than the lady answered that"ur father is in my hand .:)"(coz he taken two medicines)
2007-01-12 05:28:06 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 2⤋
Q. How do you get a one-armed stoner out of a tree?
A. Wave.
2007-01-12 03:51:25 · answer #6 · answered by SkrusLoose 2 · 3⤊ 1⤋
Q: What does a mans penis and a Rubix cube have in common?
A: The more you play with them the harder they get.
2007-01-12 03:51:52 · answer #7 · answered by Small_And_Mighty 2 · 3⤊ 2⤋
Q: What does a really inhibited person and a vagina have in common?
A: You have to get them to open up to you!
2007-01-12 04:02:51 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 2⤋
man before marriage-"aisi azadi kahaan?(airtel)
man after marriage-"where ever you go our network follows you"(hutch)
2007-01-12 05:23:40 · answer #9 · answered by ganesh n 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Q. Why don't sharks eat clowns?
A. Because they taste funny.
2007-01-12 03:51:40 · answer #10 · answered by ? 2 · 2⤊ 1⤋