(we were never married) He went into jail, only been with my daughter 9 mths of her life. i let my daughter see his parents time to time. fast forward now, my daughter is 6yrs old, I am married to a great man we have another child, well I just found out my daughter's father will be out in 3mths, so i need help on some info, he is not on her birth certificate so i want my husband to adopted my daughter so he has all the legal rights, can i do this without my kids father getting involved and what else can i do to make sure that he does not have no rights in her life please someone help me out with some information ( i live in ill so i know that every state has different rules). thank you
2007-01-12 03:38:09 · 15 answers · asked by Erica A 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
Certainly you would be best to consult an attorney to help you with this matter. You may need to convince this man who is being released in 3 months to sign off his parental rights before your husband can legally adopt her. He may do so without creating any problems or he may want visitation rights and then you will have to consider what is best for the little girl. If you allow her to visit her natural grandparents (his people) eventually you may have to sit down with her and explain the truth to her. They may also go for visitation rights (as some places allow grandparents to do so legally). Not much help I know but just telling you what some possible scenarios are, and not trying to scare you either. So once again I would recommend that you get in touch with a lawyer that deals with family court issues as soon as possible to find out what your legal rights are as the mother of this little girl and if her natural father continues to have any legal rights. Best of luck to you in resolving this issue.
2007-01-12 03:50:31 · answer #1 · answered by crazylegs 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I don't know if all states are the same with THIS or not, but I believe he has to relinquish his rights before being able to adopt. I am in a somewhat similar situation, except my ex was not in jail. He refuses to let my husband adopt, but also refuses to step up to the plate and be a father. I do know no matter what state you live in, these days it is VERY difficult to get a judge to not let the bio father have ANY interaction/involvement in the child's life. You have to prove he is completely unfit, does drugs or is abusive for that to happen, and even then a lot of times he would get visitation, most likely supervised. If he's that bad, I totally understand not wanting him in her life, it's easy for people to say don't do that, but unless they are or have been in that situtation, it's hard to understand. Especially since you are married and the child has a good role model/father, why make it more difficult/confusing to the child if you really feel it will only traumatize your child? I know each family/situation is different, but if your ex is anything like mine, I understand. Good luck to you. Definately consult an attorney, NOW!!!!
2007-01-12 12:02:46 · answer #2 · answered by Luv2HelpYou 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well in Pa the father has to sign over all of his parental rights to you and then you can go from there but I have no idea what the laws are in ill so your going to have to consalt a attorney. Why don't you want him in your childs life? That's her father he has a right to be there if he wants to be part. If not then his loss. Your daughter has a right to know who her biological father is. But if he's a dick then do what you want. When your daughter is older and you tell her that your husband now isn't her real dad how do you think she's going to feel? She may hate you for keeping her from him. You need to think about that. Good luck!!!
2007-01-12 11:46:50 · answer #3 · answered by lem 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Does the father have and child support obligations? I'm not trying to be rude, but why have you waited so long to do this? How long have you been married for?
You could attempt and get a lawyer to present paper work to your ex. Try and get him to relinquish is parental rights. This could cost you. Or...
Maybe get the phone book and contact some state agencies and see what the tell you to do. Surley they can give you a better understanding of a good place to start with this problem
Good luck.
2007-01-12 14:36:51 · answer #4 · answered by Josh 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Call your lawyer and talk to your husband. If it's something he wants as well, get the lawyer to file the papers. Unfortunately, since he is the father, he can file a case with the court that says he wants visitation rights, but if you can prove he is unsafe or unfit, he will not be given visitation (explain why he went to jail to the court). Unfortunately, if you let your daughter see his (her biological father's) parents, that can cause problems.
My question is, has he asked for her during the time he was in jail? If not, you can use that as well.
b-Cool
2007-01-12 11:45:39 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You might get away with this in the beginning but I think it will bite you in the butt later. You could go to an attorney and tell him you don't know who the father of your child is. I know that will make you look kinda "sluty" but if there is no fathers name on the birth certificate they will have to believe you since you didn't put a father down. Everything will probably go through with the adoption. Here is where things will get ugly. If her natural father or his parents get wind of the adoption after the fact and want to take you to court they can. They can get the adoption over turned because you will have lied to the court about not knowing who the child's father is. If your ex-boyfriend or his parents either one do this however mister jailbird will then be responsible for paying child support and health coverage for your daughter. He will also get visitation but you can probably get the visitation restricted due to her not knowing him and his criminal history. My suggestion to you would be to go about this another way. I say contact the ex-boyfriend and tell him you want to let your new husband adopt your child and that you want him to sign over all rights so that you can do this. Tell your ex if he doesn't sign over his rights then your going after child support and health coverage plus he will have to also pay back child support from the day she was born. This will I bet most definately convince him to sign over rights. Remember when deciding on what to do you need to ask yourself a question will his parents or himself spend the kind of money on an attorney it will take in either incident to stop the adoption or over turn it? I bet the ex-boyfriend won't have a dime to fight you but his parents might so think about that when deciding on whatever you decide.
2007-01-12 12:05:11 · answer #6 · answered by Lucinda M 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
I sure don't see why the father of your child should feel obligated to give up his rights to his own child just because you want a "happy ever after" life. Seven years you were living like trash, and now you think you can sweep everything under the carpet and make your life look pretty? Your daughter deserves to know her bio dad. This is so sad when adults are so self serving.
2007-01-12 12:51:07 · answer #7 · answered by lily 6 · 0⤊ 1⤋
I believe he has the right to know about you wanting your husband to adopt your child. It is admirable for you to want a better life for her, but her father does have rights and I believe would have to give permission for this. Just remind him (if he disagrees out of spite) about all the back and future child support payments he will have to make. That may change his mind.
2007-01-12 11:50:41 · answer #8 · answered by Wendy B 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes...all you have to do is to announce it in the legal listings in atleast 4 papers to show the court you listed it and no response was made... I'm sure he doesn't read the papers... right... Lots of luck to you and your little children
You may consult a lawyer as well, not sure about the IL family laws..This applies in MA for sure...
2007-01-12 11:48:50 · answer #9 · answered by momof3 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I know that this is not what you want to hear, but, don't prevent your daughter from getting to know her biological father. You can do all the rest of it, but allow her and him to know each other. Use supervised visits, be straight up with your daughter.
If not you stand a good chance of her ending up resenting you for keeping her from her dad (even though she never really knew him).
You do need to get legal advice.
2007-01-12 11:46:34 · answer #10 · answered by deepndswamps 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋