Iam so sad and depressed?

Question

i have been with my man for 5yrs and we have been living together for 6 months. for the past 2 weeks, we have been fighting and he wants me to move out. he says that he is not happy with me and my army(which is my 3 kids) he says he wants to be single. i have decided i am not moving now because both of our names on the lease. the thing is he won't talk to me and he won't move out. last month he proposed to me and we just moved in with each other and now for no reason he don't wanna be with me. i have 3 kids that live with us also and i want to continue living in the apartment, until i can save more money to move. what can i do to forgot this jerk, he is breaking my heart.

i can't face him, eat, sleep or nothing, what iam going to do

Answer 1

Right now he is going through shock. He is noticing all the noise from the kids the attention he has to give to you because you are around more often. He is probably feeling tied down.I say all that to tell you some good news . If you guys can get through this you will make it. So first thing to do is give him a little space spend time with your kids. Have a great time with your kids in spite of how he is acting. It shows him it's his choice to be apart of the family. While he is acting like this don't give him any sex because that's just going to confuse you and you are allowing him to manipulate you.I really don't think he wants to be single,(hint:that's why hes not moving out.) So just give him some time and do not talk about anyone moving out. It's not fair to the kids.
You guys have alot of time invested. I think you should tell him your feeling but do it in a letter. However he responds is you decision on the relationship. So if he ignores it. Live separately together until you can move but ask him to step up as a man and move out.If he really does want to be single he will move out. If he responds with concern and some hope than get some couples therapy. Even though you have been together for a long time there alot of aspects to living together with children. So therapy will help you to come together as a family.
Through it all you have to take care of yourself. This is not the end of the world and if you guys get married your probably going to go through alot more. So stay strong if not for yourself then for your kids. They need their mom to take care of them and to love them. They need to know mom is okay. So find someone you can confide in and still show them that they are safe. Children hear everything and see all.So regardless of how he is acting they need to have a strong foundation with you.So get out the house with them. Go some where with them and don't invite him. Eventually he will notice what he is missing out on. Take care

Answer 2

Well what have you been ffighting about, stupid things or important things? It's hard to tell why he would act this way. Maybe he just can't handle kids, he is probably immature. First of all, it's not a good idea to just live with a man if you have 3 kids that aren't his! It's not good psychologically for the kids, especially if they're young! Anyway, maybe you should see a counselor or psychologist to talk to, to help you through this, because not eating or sleeping is bad, and you're kids need you to be a strong mom for them. I really know how it feels when a guy turns all jerkyy and makes you feel like sh*t. So please don't let it continue this way, talk to a counselor who will know more how to help you feel better.

Answer 3

I feel bad for you! But you have to get away from him somehow! Being in the same place together will only make thing worse for you and the kids! It also sounds like you need some YOU time with friends! DON'T LET IT GET YOU DOWN!!! Things will get better you just have to get through this! There is a lot of opportunity out there!!! Life does not end with this!!! It is just a bump in the road of life! Smile and think about all the good you do have like you kids and that you are not living in some war torn country or that you have your health. There is a lot to be grateful for don't dwell on the bad it will only make you feel shitty!

Answer 4

For your children, you have to be strong.

Leaving the home will make him feel powered but why do you want to give him that feeling? He cant just take you for a ride.

Tell him if he wants you to leave, ask him to pay you for your name to be out of the lease. If not, you'll still continue living there.

When problems arises, you'll able to see true colors of a relationship and of the person you love. In your scenario, he shows his true color, a jerk color!

1. You have to be strong, remind yourself over and over again!
2. Talk to a counsellor or family members or close buddies. Dont blame youself for this, you dont deserve it...

To forget someone, its impossible. Afterall, thats why we all have a "past" and "memories". Live with it, learn from your experiences and most importantly, LEARN TO LET GO! Only you can make it happen. If you do not wish to let go, no one can help you...

Take it easy on yourself, remember Life Goes On...

P/S: I always believe in Karma, sure what goes aound will comes around! He'll get his retirbution!

Cheers!

Answer 5

Maybe reality hit him when u guys started living together, and when i say reality i mean living with three kids, that could have shocked him and made him want to back out because he probably just figured it was too much to handle..... its either that or maybe his love just simply died out, orrrrrr i hate to say this maybe he met someone new...... Unfortunately guys are jerk sometimes, and when they have been w/ a girl for a long time it just becomes boring and they lose interest, but F*ck him, you dont need him, he knows your feeling like sh*t, the best advice i could give you is even though you are hurting like hell right now be strong and dont let him see you shed a tear!

Good luck!

Answer 6

Seems like this guy may be very immature. I would find out if he is cheating on you if he is making such drastic decisions. I wouldn't move. You have your children to think about first. If he wants to be single now, he can go rent or buy a bachelor pad for himself. Don't let this guy cause you pain. If he doesn't want to be with you, let him go and find the love your looking for. If you are that depressed, it will affect your children. Not cool. Maybe write down a list of pros and cons of being with this guy and see if it is really worth your heartache. Good luck.

Answer 7

well the first thing I would tell him would be to grow up! and you state that you have three children? well worry only about them, men will come and go but your children are always there. if your names on the lease then stay right there, you have just as much right to be there as he does, more so you because of the children. I don't consider that a man to want to kick little ones out on the street. save your money and go on your own, don't depend on a man be independent, then you can come and go as you please, and your children wont have to stress over seeing there mommy upset all the time

Answer 8

I would temporarily move to a friend or relatives...its really hard to live with someone! Tell him you would like to work through this situation if he would, tell him you are going to give him space and move to a friend or relatives...and in the meantime you would really like him to consider his decision. 5 years is a long time to just throw it all away!! If after you have given each other space, he STILL wants to break up, then he is not worth it! I feel for you though- Good luck girl!

Answer 9

There's nothing I can do about your money problem. You are probably getting child support and/or government assistance.

As for your emotions, you need to face up to the fact that you dodged a bullet, this relationship is over. You have to cry it out, get over it, and move on. Even if you can't move.

Think of him as an unwanted roomate for the moment. Just avoid him and take care of yourself and your kids.
There's no reason to consider yourself in a relationship. He plainly stated his desire to be single. If he were a man, he would move out.

I'm sorry, sweetheart. You can get through this. Do it for your kids. Sometimes people think they are in love but they aren't, and it's better to find out now than after the wedding.

Answer 10

he probably said it because he was mad. if you still want to be with him, you should work it out. if not, just stay until you save up enough to get you own house. you can go to your city's housing department office and apply for section 8. they will pay some of your rent if you qualify. but dont throw away a 5 year relationship for no reason.