its called you make me feel so right
you are so special
you are so sweet
you are the kind of guy I would love to meet
yes we are together
yes I will love you forever
we will lay on a blanket under the stars
looking up into the night
and i would feel oh so right
I feel like I am patr of the world again
and I know where to begin
And i know it would never end
this feeling about you is like no other
but you must remember that i will love you and you forever
by tiffany
2007-01-12 03:11:22 · 5 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Its to my boyfriend
2007-01-12 03:16:20 · update #1
i need as many comments as possible
2007-01-12 03:24:17 · update #2
Hi Tiffany.
The poem sounds great! You get your point across clearly that he's the only one for you and you love him a lot. I put myself in your boyfriend's shoes when I read the poem and I felt what you felt.
Don't take this offensivly, but I am one of those people who love to critique other people's works... hopefully you don't mind if I critique your poem.
There are many different types of poems that one could write and there is no wrong way to write a poem, but it seems that you're structure looks more or less like a set of cuplets. In any case, poems are written to help express the feelings of the author and I can feel your feelings. He's a lucky man to get this poem, I'll tell you that. Here's a possible revision of your poem, if you want... just a suggestion...:
You Make Me Feel So Right
You are so special and sweet,
The kind of guy I aspired to meet.
Bonded by love underneith the stars,
Together forever, we are.
Looking into the darkness of night,
Our emotions raid us into the light.
Day breaks and I'm in your hands,
I feel part of the world again.
I know where to begin,
And I know it would never end.
My devotion for you is my life,
For you make me feel so right.
By Tiffany
So you can take my suggestions like a grain of sand or you can take them to heart, it's up to you... afterall it is your poem.
Hope this helps.
2007-01-12 03:34:38 · answer #1 · answered by dukeofhmong 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well I don't know much about poetry. But I have to say you have talent, it was very nice.
2007-01-12 11:17:15 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
that is soooooooooooooooooooooooooo good. I love a good poem. that one is romantic who did you write it for?
2007-01-12 11:15:41 · answer #3 · answered by i_love_rain 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I like it it's great!
Good work!
2007-01-12 11:19:15 · answer #4 · answered by Majsen 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It very beautiful
2007-01-12 11:14:28 · answer #5 · answered by cm_crazy13 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋