my ex stays with his new girlfriend half the time (mostly they stay at her friends houses) and it hurts me to think about it. however she lives with her parents so he can't go move in with her. he has a lot of bills and just recently got a job so he can't afford to move out. i don't just want to throw him out on the street (he has been there for me most of the time) but by him being here its killing me emotionally. he has no other place to go and i don't know what to do.
2007-01-12 03:10:57 · 38 answers · asked by anonymous 6 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
his stuff is at my house but he stays about half the time somewhere else
2007-01-12 03:11:40 · update #1
This isn't your problem anymore. Give him one month to find somewhere else to live. If he has a heart he'll understand, if not explain it to him and make him understand. He might not like it but it's your home, not his.
2007-01-12 03:13:43 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Hey there,
Have you tried talking to him about it? Maybe he and his new girlfriend can work something out.
An apartment together, perhaps? Anyways, no...I'm not a big advocate for kicking anyone out, but I would give him a time limit to get his life together.
Since he does have a new job, hopefully he'll be able to stand on his own two feet sooner than later. If you guys can work out a time limit for him being there, I think it would help you a lot. Does he have any family he can move in with? What about friends?
Just remember to be assertive about it, it's your life and you really don't owe him anything (no matter how many times he was there for you), especially if this is emotionally draining.
Just take care of yourself and be assertive about it. With a new job there is no reason he can't take care of himself soon.
2007-01-12 03:18:38 · answer #2 · answered by Marie 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Just because he was there for you, doesn't mean extending the welcome mat via you. He has obviously moved on and you are troubled with knowledge of where he is and what he is doing. I would suggest its time for you both to find other ways to show your care and concern, preferably from afar. He need not stay with you, his bills, are, well, his problem and not your responsibility to pay, unless you helped run them up for him. I'd say, give him notice that he needs to find other accomodations, somewhere else. After all, just cause he can't move in with his gf doesn't mean he can't find some other situation, like another room mate some where else. There is no need to emotionally rehash things in your mind, if he moves. I am sure, if he really cares for you, and you explain he has 30-60 days to find a place and you'll help him pack, that if he truely cares for you, he will find another place to share with someone else. If not, now you will know he isn't into your feelings, but his free rent. Good luck!
2007-01-12 03:22:23 · answer #3 · answered by Tippy's Mom 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I really think you need to ask him to leave. If he's sleeping somewhere else most nights and you two are no longer in a relationship, it's time he take his thing and take responsibility for his own life. It's not your problem that he can't get a job and pay his bills...if his new girlfriend wants him, she needs to take him with all the baggage. It's not your fault she lives with her parents and it shouldn't be your responsibility to provide housing for her man. I'm sorry, this whole situation seems crazy. You don't need to be rude but you need to tell him you're done and he needs to get out of your life. How can you move on with your life if your ex-man is taking all your energy? Let him go!
2007-01-12 03:20:21 · answer #4 · answered by Princess P 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Lets look at the situation. Your EX boyfriend lives with you and can't move out.
Can he not find another roommate in your town? Can he not go and live with HIS parents for a bit? Can he get a loan from the bank to get started up?
If you answered no to any of those questions, there is a slight chance that you are still in love with your EX and don't want him to move out because somewhere, deep down inside, you want him to one day come "home" see you and never want to leave again.
2007-01-12 03:23:28 · answer #5 · answered by bpbjess 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It may sound selfish but you need to put yourself first. I've been in similar situations and in the end the only person who got hurt was me. If you don't make a change soon it could wreck you, emotionally, physically and financially. It isn't your problem that he's facing hard times and has no where else to go. If he's not willing to put you first, why should you do him the favor?
Think about you girl, time DOES heal and you will be better off without him.
2007-01-12 03:15:36 · answer #6 · answered by pitsrus 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
If I was you I would tell him that you have a month or week or whatever time frame you are comfortable with to get out. Tell him tha you don't want to just throw him out but you given your previous relationship it is to hard to have him living there. Set a date for him to be out and let him know that after that date you are no longer living together. He will have time to find a place and you will have a date of relief to concentrate on.
2007-01-12 03:17:03 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Baby girl, you can not do this to yourself. What would he do if this was switched? More than likely kick you out. Sorry he has no where to go, but since he has a job he is not out of luck. He can go to a motel...who cares!! What are you going to do, just let him stay there until he wants to go, when it is convenient for him? Ha! He and his new g/f can figure out where he stays. He should not be your concern anymore. Keep your head up and listen to your heart. Good luck.
2007-01-12 03:15:16 · answer #8 · answered by ♥eLizAbEtH♥ 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Thank you! Yes he is a big boy and he can take care of himself. If she is such a great girlfriend she gon think of something. Why YOU gotto take care of someone elses man? For God's sake do YOU have a life? Are you over him? Do you date? Dont you want to date and not be afraid to bring someone to YOUR house, not his. I mean there no us thing anymore so why would you limit yourself. You are not his friend, you are his ex girlfriend. It is killing you emotionally as you said, so guess what girlfriend its time to THINK ABOUT YOURSELF AND YOUR EMOTIONAL AND PHYSICAL WELLBEING!!! How about you start off with that. :) Good luck and i hope you will make right decision.
2007-01-12 03:19:28 · answer #9 · answered by BK thang 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If it is hurting you emotionally i would tell him he's got to go. Hes obviously just using you as a place to stay. Kick him out!
2007-01-12 03:13:35 · answer #10 · answered by ♥ purrlvr ♥ 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Kick him out and don't be such a softy sweetie , he has no regard for your feelings . Pack up his stuff and set it outside and change the locks on your door. Get a restraining order against him also. Good luck ! You may tell him you have a new boyfriend who is moving in soon and his stuff had better be gone if he intends to keep it .
2007-01-12 03:15:31 · answer #11 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋