Do you think it's bad to not brush your child's hair everyday?

Question

My oldest daughter has medium length thick curly hair. When I brush it gently with detangler, it hurts her and she cries. So if we aren't leaving the house that day, I won't brush it. I feel like I'm torchering her for no reason. I've tried to get her to cut it shorter, but she says she doesn't want to look like a boy. She's 6 years old. Do you think I should just brush her hair everyday or is it ok that I don't brush it on days we don't leave the house?

Answer 1

It's not bad at all so if it works for you then dont worry about it.

The only time i would say it's a problem is if it's going to make it worse the next day.

I used to have waist long thick hair when i was young and it was an nightmare, my parents got so fed up with it.

We always found that leave-in conditioners were quite helpful for softening up the hair and keeping out knots. I also had it plaited everynight so that it kept tangling to a minimum in the night.

You could also always show her pics of pretty girls with shorter hair (shorter doesn't mean she has to have a 'boy' cut, she might not realise this) but children can be stubbon so don't persist if it won't work.

Really, though don't worry to much, she'll likely get fed up with it herself eventually and want it shorter. Not brushing her hair is not a bad thing, especially as your only doing so as not to upset her. But just be aware that i may make it harder the next day.

Answer 2

First of all, you need to be using the right kind of shampoo and conditioner. She's old enough to be washing her own hair, but if she's not able to get all of the shampoo out, and use the right amount of conditioner in her hair, and endure the brushing/combing later...then it's mom to the rescue. You can go to your local salon and get the Biolage Shampoo and Conditioner for massive tangles. Just ask the salon tech there, they can help. Then, you need to be using a detangler on her hair only a few days/week. You don't want to make it oily. Also, I would definitely cut it a little shorter. If it's that painful that she's going to cry each time you do it, she doesn't get a say in how short it is. She's not old enough, yet, and she does need it brushed every single day. It's healthy to brush your hair every single day, but it has to be done correctly, and with the correct products and tools. I'm sorry to sound so harsh, but you are the parent. She needs to understand that having shorter hair will make it easier on her scalp. You could cut it shoulder-length, and she'd look fine. If she thinks she looks like a boy, with shoulder-length hair, take her out in public and make her point out all of the boys that have shoulder-length hair. She won't find many. You are going to make it harder on her if you aren't brushing her hair daily. It's part of the maintenance, and she's old enough to understand that! And I saw that someone just suggested not washing all of the conditioner out...bad idea. That will cause an oily build-up, fast. Kids touch their hair out of habit. Especially when it's long. You need to always get the products out of the hair, when it says RINSE.

Answer 3

You're the mom, you will do whatever you see fit. My stand on your situation, though, is that kids do whatever they can to get attention.... positive or negative. She may say it hurts and you may feel as if you are torturing her, but I doubt it's hurting as much as she makes it out to be. My 3 year old does the same thing. She's got curly hair and I spray that stuff down with detangler and brush it lightly. Just to test her, I brushed her hair and then pulled the brush away from her head and kept on with the brushing motion. She kept crying and saying it hurt so bad. No brush on her head. It's just another ploy (in my daughter's case) to delay the process of getting ready.

What I do every night now is I wash her hair and condition it (keep the conditioner in for a couple of minutes) and comb her hair with a wide-tooth comb while she's still in the bath and focusd on playing with her toys. When she gets out of the tub, I comb her hair again and I braid her hair in a low braid (at the nape of her neck) and tie the end with a "ouchless" elastic. She'll sleep on it, her hair dries, and it doesn't get tangled at night because it's not going every which way when she sleeps like a maniac. I do the same thing in the morning with brushing and she still tells me "it hurts" sometimes. There are times where I WILL get a kink or two and I know it's gonna hurt. I tell her and hold the hair in my hand and give the hair from the end of my hand to her head some slack to help with the pulling (so it won't pull as much). She's a lot happier now and isn't as mad at me when I brush her hair now.

Hope this helps. Good luck. Oh, and yes, I think you should brush her hair everyday.... even if you are staying in. It will show her that it's not okay to look like a ragamuffin all of the time. If you think you don't want to brush her hair on days where you're homebound, let her do it. It may not look as great, but it's still brushed and you won't feel as guilty about it.

Answer 4

I don't think you need to brush her hair when you aren't going anywhere...I have straight hair and am 18 and I don't brush my hair when I'm staying in.

Some tips for when you do brush her hair:
-Brush it before a washing
-If you use conditioner, comb it with conditioner in it
-If she has curly hair, see if you can get special shampoo/conditioner/detangler or something like that made to help tame curly hair
-When you do brush her hair, start and the bottom and work up
-hold a section of hair a little above where you are brushing out a tangle tightly, so it pulls from your hand instead of her scalp

Mainly, if you don't brush her hair sometime, that's fine. I know people my age with curly hair who don't brush it everyday, even when they are going out.

Answer 5

You should do it everyday just to keep it from being too tangled the next day. Maybe even twice a day. My 6 yr old has the curly hair to so I know what you mean about it hurting them. It's unfortunate but needed. Try different detangler, maybe a certain brand will work better. I use VO5 adult on my daughter and it seems to work very well. Sorry I couldn't be of more help. Good luck

Answer 6

I don't think you are a bad Mom for not brushing her hair every day if that's what you mean... but for her to get in a good routine, I'd almost say to brush it every day so she gets used to it. I get tangles too... what my hair stylist does is hold my hair by the scalp, and then hold it back while he's brushing the tangles out. This helps, and doesn't hurt at all. Not sure if you'll know what I mean by this lol, but hold a small section of hair- not at the end, but closer to her head.. hold it and pull her hair towards her head with that hand, while you brush- it kind of goes the other way when you brush, so as a result, it helps not hurt your head.

I think if you give in to not brushing on days you are home with her, she will throw a bigger fit when you go to do it on days she is out. So if she gets used to it every day, there will be less fussing about it.

Goodluck!

Answer 7

It's perfectly fine to not brush her hair everyday! My daughter is 4 and she has her bath's at night time. When she wakes up in the morning she has a rat's nest on the back of her head. If I even come close to her with a hairbrush she screams bloody murder. So I let her go to school that way. She looks like a rag doll, but whatever! It's not going to hurt her. I did end up cutting my daughter's hair and it's gotten much easier, but I certainly don't feel like a bad parent if her hair doesn't get brushed!

Answer 8

my daughter and me have thick naturally curly hair and the only time, we comb the knots out of our hair is when we take a shower/bath...If we do it when it is dry, it looks like one big frizz ball....so it is not bad not brushing your daughter's hair everyday....we take showers every other day as every day is bad for your skin and hair so that is when we brush our hair...my daughter is 8, by the way and she said the same thing...i will look like a boy and be ugly if i cut it...lol.....i use loreal springing curls mousse on my daughter to tame her curls and pantene light spray detangler....don't get me wrong, she still whimpers when i brush her hair when its wet but it's not as bad and there really is not anything you can do about it. My friend is a hairdresser renting a booth so these are the tips she has giving me!!!

Answer 9

I have natural curly hair also.My kids did too.If you wash it and use a good conditioner and not rinse all of the conditioner out it will be much easier to brush.Brush it while it is still wet and the tangles will not be so hard to get out.Also keeping it up in a ponytail or something will keep it from tangleing.It does need to be brushed daily sometimes more than once.

Answer 10

What? My mom never brushed my hair... Although, dont worry SO much if you hurt her a little bit. It's going to no matter what you do. If you are that worried about it, use conditioners or different shampoos to make her hair softer and less tangled.