Jerk or not jerk???

Question

A couple of days ago, my boyfriend stated to me, after a lack of sleep (about 8 hours in the last 2 days for me), "Wow, your eyes really Do get dark, Wow... it's looks like someone punched you in the eyes or something" I mean what the hell right!!???... I told him how much that had hurt me, and he just keeps repeating over and over and over again, "look, I didn't mean it how you took it, sorry"... over and over and over again... but he doesn't even do a Damn thing about it!!! you can't just take away a comment like that to someone... especially your own g/f whom you say you care for and love!!!... I mean, there a TON of others ways to state it other than " Wow, it looks like somebody punched you in the eyes or something" (might sound funny now to some, but it's not when you're already insecure about that and then 2 hear that coming form him!...it hurt Alot! I'm a WOMAN!, I won't Ever forget he said that!, I'm not sure I'll ever feel comfortable around him again after his comment... :-(

Answer 1

I think that you're overreacting - possibly due to a lack of sleep.

YIKES!

Answer 2

Rember, you hadn't had much sleep at this time, you were probably already a bit edgy, tired, exhausted, grouchy....etc

Dose he love you? do you really believe he said it with the intent to hurt you? He likely saw your eyes, and said the first thing that came to mind, not even thinking it would hurt you. It may have been insensitive, but he's not a jerk.

I think you may be overreacting a bit........And, if that is true, you can never feel comfortable around him again, you might as well end the relationship right now......so can you find it in your heart to forgive the guy you care about for a stupid comment (that was not said to hut you, he just blurted it out)

Answer 3

This is clearly a sensitive spot for you...I get that. Still, you have to know that men make all kinds of insensitive comments, even when they don't mean to be insensitive. They put up with their share of crap from us...believe me.

In this case, take it for what it is...this guy saw you when you didn't look your best and spat something out of his mouth without thinking about something you are a little sensitive about. He probably thought you wouldn't get offended by something that is a temporary state from a lack of sleep.

So what if your eyes get a little or even a lot darker than most peoples without sleep. It doesn't mean he doesn't think you are gorgeous most of the time. He is still with you, isn't he? Be happy you have a guy that has seen you at your insecure worst and apologized and still wants to be with you. As long as he isn't always making comments like this, just give him a big old hug, say you forgive him. He'll learn with time.

Answer 4

You are absolutely overreacting. That comment was NOT intended as an offense.

Your man has to be open to speak his mind, otherwise he won't even want to talk to you anymore. What kind of relationship is that?

I know a couple where the woman gets offended at everything the man says. Guess what? They haven't had sex in years.

The excuse "IM A WOMAN" kind of flies in the face of equality and women's liberation as well. That's not an excuse. If you're hyper-sensitive, that's not other people's fault. You need to toughen up.

I know this because when I was a kid, I was over-sensitive. Guys just have to toughen up. Apparently some girls don't have to, because they are expected to be sensitive. Do what I did, toughen up and grow up.

And don't say "you didn't have to say it like that!". Yes, I did. Unless people are able to talk to you honestly the way they talk to everyone else, in an open manner, then they won't be interested in talking to you. You get a reputation of being childish or easily offended like some kind of princess.

Every princess wants a prince, but no prince wants a princess.

Answer 5

Look, he probably didn't mean it that way, and truth be known, he probably wasn't thinking about the repercussions that would follow the comment that was made. If he said he is sorry, then forgive him. Now if he said sorry just to say it, then it is wrong, yet still forgive. The insecurity is an issue you have to deal with inside, and you just need to be told that no matter what is wrong with you in your own mind, you are a beautiful creation of the High and Mighty God, who loves you beyond measure. I used to be insecure about some things, and my ex g/f would bring it up, so I know what you are talking about, but being bitter after he said he was sorry is wrong.

Answer 6

first you might want to take a look at what might be going on with you and your bf on a deep level. Comments do really hurt, especially if you are a woman and the man u love says something negative about our looks. But you not being able to get over it might something you are holding from a while back. You are right he cant take it back but lets face it sometimes we speak before we think and this sounds like something he done. You told him it hurt he says he is sorry and if he doens't do it anymore then get over it...if he continues then he is a jerk.

Answer 7

OK, first off he should have thought about the comment before he said it. Then he would have realized how it sounded. He may not have meant it that way but it sounded like he did. But it's over right...he said he was sorry and you cant stay mad forever. If you plan to stay mad forever than you should just break up with him now and save both of you alot of heartache. I understand that it hurt your feelings and that it may not be something that you will ever forget but put it away. If he said he was sorry than chances are he feels bad about it. If he doesn't than he should and nobody needs to be with someone who doesn't care about their feelings. If your just not sure, than weigh the good and the bad and decide from that. Life is too short to be with someone who doesn't respect you or the way you feel but it's also too short to stay mad for ever.

Answer 8

Not a jerk. Forgive the guy, he was just insensitive. He obviously cares for you very much and feels bad since he keeps apologizing. If you'd forgive him and move on, I'm sure he'd stop talking about it. Everyone makes mistakes, remember that.

You should still be comfortable around him because you've had the problem for a while, as you say, and he still fell in love with you just the way you are. FORGIVE...

Answer 9

Lighten up and get some sleep. I am sure that if you were not suffering from lack of sleep, the comment would not have been such a big deal. I would blow it off and try to get more sleep. Some people can blow things way out of proportion when they are really tired. Just try to remember how much you care about your mate and don't make such a stink over it.

Answer 10

You need to get some sleep. You are wiggin out!! That's not that bad of a comment. Men want to be able to tell women anything especially if you are dating each other. My boyfriend would tell me if I looked rough. It might hurt my feelings a little bit but he doesn't mean too. Guys joke a lot. You outta forgive and forget--I am sure you haven't always had nice things to say to him.

Answer 11

I can see if he was joking about it only one time. but if he keeps going on about it and it hurts, you should state to him that, that was ignorant and rude of him.. I can really say that was mean, but guys have there own ways of having fun. But hurting others is not the right way to do it. So put him in his place, and let him know that, that really hurt you and from the comments he left you that you feel weird around him now... just my opinion