should i say when i am not happy about something, if i don't like their attitude, should i ignore a request. should i stand up to them and protect my girlfriend. how do i stand up to them, without offending them. is meeting prospective in laws a mind field, how can you make everything easier for everyone.
2007-01-12 02:53:52 · 21 answers · asked by rjhamuk 2 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Other - Pregnancy & Parenting
I guess a lot would depend on your age. The way I conducted myself around a girlfriend's parents when I was in my early 20's is much different than I would do now (In early 30's). Back then I would probably been more submissive to their requests and compliant with their wishes. Nowadays, if I were in that same situation, I would stand up not only for my girlfriend but for myself as well. As a grown man, I do not need a girlfriend's parent lecturing me or what have you. I would still be respectful and courteous to them but I would make it damn clear that the relationship, issues, and decisions are ours (mine and the girlfriend) to make and manage. Luckily my wife's parents are not and have never been that way to me. They know we are adults and can make decisions for ourselves.
2007-01-12 03:01:49 · answer #1 · answered by Scottee25 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Tough question to answer as it depends on what your prospective in-laws are like. Generally speaking though, be honest, and be yourself (to a certain point).
Telling them if you don't like their attitidue is pure suicide - you won't do that even to your boss, so why would you do that to someone else's parents, let alone your prospective in-laws? They are an older generation, hence deserves your respect. Do you not normally give your parents due respect?
Your girlfriend is their daughter - she doesn't need your protection from her own parents. Unless they are abusive, but you can still step into the situation without being disrespectful. The funnny thing is, she may even hate her parents, but if you start verbally attacking them, you may find your girlfriend turning on you instead of thanking you. Blood is thicker than water. Always. If you are a good boyfriend, you should be helping your girlfriend with her domestic relationships (abusive situation excluded) instead of fanning the fire.
Remember - if your relationship with your girlfriend gets serious, you will have to deal with her parents for the rest of your life. It's not like a job that you can just walk out if you don't like your boss. Don't burn any bridges.
Good luck!
2007-01-12 03:03:43 · answer #2 · answered by Knowbody 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Why would you suddenly stand up to them? Are you for some reason anticipating a fight?
Enter their home with an open mind. Start off with a clean slate. Unless you've already had arguments with them before, why visit them with such a defensive attitude? Chill out.
2007-01-12 02:58:31 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
It's best to stay out of their family business. She should be able to stick up for herself if she has to.
You should treat them with courtesy, respect and tact. If you want to make it easier for everyone, go out of your way to show that you are mindful of their daughter's needs, and that you respect them.
Try to spend some time with the dad if you can. Find out if he has any hobbies like working on cars, or something, and try to help him out once in a while.
You won't gain any points with the inlaws unless you treat them with courtesy, respect, and tact as I said, and if you don't it will dictate your relationship for the future.
2007-01-12 03:04:15 · answer #4 · answered by Big Bear 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
it will be a superb theory for your female friend to ask her father earlier than time if that's ok if she is going on a date. Then, you would possibly want to bypass meet him once you %. her up. you want to be as respectful as conceivable to her father. bypass in, introduce your self, supply a company handshake, and then tell him precisely the position you'd be going for the evening and what you'd be doing. contain different those who will be coming alongside with you. The date would not should be in a large crew...what about asking her ideal buddy and her boyfriend to bypass alongside? probability is, her father is conscious her ideal buddy and could be more desirable keen to enable her bypass if she were there as well. also, do not tell him what time you'd be domicile. as a change, ask him what time he would like her to be domicile. so a procedures as appearances bypass, do not attempt to regulate your self for him. once you've diverse piercings, possibly take out some (nostril, eyebrows, etc.), yet once you've one on your ear, i imagine which will be o.k.. possibly replace the dimensions of the earring, though, to as small as conceivable. seem sparkling and presentable. i'm not declaring placed on gown pants and a tie, yet possibly effective denims and a polo blouse. If he says no to the date, try chatting with him your self and letting him recognize that you respect his daughter a lot and would under no circumstances do something to damage her. bypass through an same ritual as above. The date would should be on yet another evening, so once you would possibly want to hotel to assembly him to even ask if she will bypass on a date, be prepared with the information of the date (confirm you %. yet yet again and date! Ask your female friend earlier than time what day is solid for her). i'm not a father, yet I do have a father that's overprotective like your female friend's, so I comprehend the position you're coming from. do not supply up on him, he will probable loosen up once he receives to attraction to close you. And if he would not, do not supply up on the lady. solid success!
2016-10-17 01:01:56 · answer #5 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Just go and be yourself. There's no need to 'stand up to them' unless you really have to. They won't appreciate it and neither will your girlfriend. Only ever question or stand up to them if they say or do something REALLY offensive or hurtful. It isn't a battle, it's just meeting two people.
2007-01-12 02:57:14 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Be confident, not cocky. Have a good attitude and try to be happy, but not fake. Sometime's it's okay to stick up for your girlfriend, but don't step ontop of their rules. It might get you into trouble. Sticking up for her will show them you protect her, which can be a good thing in their eyes.
2007-01-12 03:20:23 · answer #7 · answered by bell flower 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Stop being such a ***** and chill out, just have a nice casual chat like you would do if you were sat in your local pub with your mates!!!!
2007-01-12 03:04:35 · answer #8 · answered by G.T 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
The best thing is to be yourself. That is what they will be looking for. Parents can smell bullsh!t a mile away!
2007-01-12 02:56:53 · answer #9 · answered by Hollygood 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Just be respectful and nice and kind and honest without pushing your limits and hurting people or walking on them.
2007-01-12 02:58:12 · answer #10 · answered by Maji 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋