I understand him completely what he means by saying he's an "athiest", but at the moment he's feeling down with no motivation, feeling let down by people and life in general. When I feel like this I find for myself I "look for something" you know? I look for inspiration and good feelings that I get from being outside close to nature, listening to certain kinds of music that bring me emotional memories, sitting in a church, etc etc.
I want to show him that he can have some faith or whatever you may call it in something, and it doesn't have to be a religion, but if he wants to sit in a church or wherever he'll still welcome there.
I know him really well, and taking him out places, talking about things etc doesn't help him, I think it would be good for him to have something "else to hold onto", but how can I suggest this to him, how subtly introduce it to him without him getting all ..... anti spirituality/religious etc? Just in a way that will give him something to think about.
2007-01-12 02:43:03 · 13 answers · asked by bummy cheeks 3 in Society & Culture ➔ Religion & Spirituality
aaww, thanks for all these kind suggestions so quickly :)
2007-01-12 02:59:56 · update #1
I'm not jealous of his unhappiness and lack of motivation, and nothing to "hold onto" no dreams, nothing he seems to appreciate in a calming, fulfilling way. I want to help him, and knowing him as much as I do, I think these are the things that he is misunderstanding.
He is an emotional guy, and he can have these feelings about something but he thinks that because he feels these things it means he believes in a god.
and like some of the answers said, it's more like a dream, inspiration, good feelings, something to focus on that he needs, well he has a dream - soemthing that he really wants to do, but I think he needs additional things to that you know?
and I will look for that film that was suggested so it's great if we're both inspired together :)
2007-01-12 03:20:11 · update #2
Thank you DonaAnna, and maybe I have been suggesting things that aren't right for him just because it's something that I can relate to, he'd rather sit in and watch tv for the wwhoooolle day.
He's a really good person, so so kind not a bad thing to say to anyone and he's given up looking for things to make him feel the same way you know? I don't believe in medication, and he would never take medication either.
2007-01-12 03:27:04 · update #3
aahh yeah, thanks for reminding me!! when I went through something like that Ecclesiastes was comforting.... and it's the only thing I've ever read in full of the bible.
Well, I know he wouldn't even look at a bible so I'll copy and paste a few touching lines into an e-mail :)
2007-01-12 04:02:12 · update #4
This guy is so fortunate to have such a good friend as you.
Your friend sounds a bit depressed just now and it could just be the time of year, but in any case it can happen to anyone at any time, no matter what their belief set is.
I think non-verbal things can sometimes be the most effective at these times and your suggestion of being outdoors or experiencing the natural world is bang on the money, also music and art can often be sort of cathartic and can
kick start us into feeling better. I hope thing work out for you both.
2007-01-12 03:17:44 · answer #1 · answered by Trixie Bordello 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Instead of trying to get him to sit in a Church, why don't you mention to him some of the other things you said? Like listening to music that means something to you, going out for walks and just appreciating everything around you. If he tries them and he's still no good maybe then you should think about mentioning Church to him. If he feels like he's being pressured into it he'll just back off even more.
2007-01-12 02:48:24 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Hi,Bummy Cheeks,
Ten out of ten for caring.......
If you'r friend feels a little down,and has a loss of direction at present,I always find a good flight manual for lifes' journey is the Desiderata, which goes like this (apologies for printing in full,but it saves you googling it)...
Desiderata
Go placidly amid the noise and haste,
and remember what peace there may be in silence.
As far as possible without surrender
be on good terms with all persons.
Speak your truth quietly and clearly;
and listen to others,
even the dull and the ignorant;
they too have their story.
Avoid loud and aggressive persons,
they are vexations to the spirit.
If you compare yourself with others,
you may become vain and bitter;
for always there will be greater and lesser persons than yourself.
Enjoy your achievements as well as your plans.
Keep interested in your own career, however humble;
it is a real possession in the changing fortunes of time.
Exercise caution in your business affairs;
for the world is full of trickery.
But let this not blind you to what virtue there is;
many persons strive for high ideals;
and everywhere life is full of heroism.
Be yourself.
Especially, do not feign affection.
Neither be cynical about love;
for in the face of all aridity and disenchantment
it is as perennial as the grass.
Take kindly the counsel of the years,
gracefully surrendering the things of youth.
Nurture strength of spirit to shield you in sudden misfortune.
But do not distress yourself with dark imaginings.
Many fears are born of fatigue and loneliness.
Beyond a wholesome discipline,
be gentle with yourself.
You are a child of the universe,
no less than the trees and the stars;
you have a right to be here.
And whether or not it is clear to you,
no doubt the universe is unfolding as it should.
Therefore be at peace with God,
whatever you conceive Him to be,
and whatever your labors and aspirations,
in the noisy confusion of life keep peace with your soul.
With all its sham, drudgery, and broken dreams,
it is still a beautiful world.
Be cheerful.
Strive to be happy.
********************************
I always find the 'child of the Universe' verse quite comforting.
All the best,
Misterviv xx
2007-01-15 09:28:12 · answer #3 · answered by misterviv 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
"I want to show him that he can have some faith or whatever you may call it in something, and it doesn't have to be a religion, but if he wants to sit in a church or wherever he'll still welcome there."
Have him watch, or go out and rent for him, "What The Bleep Do We Know." It's an amazing film on Quantum Physics as it pertains to human spirituality and our inherent ability to create. This film should motivate him in spectacular ways. It could also do the same thing for you!
2007-01-12 02:49:35 · answer #4 · answered by gjstoryteller 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
This is something that he needs to find on his own. You can suggest things you do to feel better, but ultimately you can not run his life for him. If he feels like your religious beliefs - or religious beliefs in general are not right for him, then they are not. For dealing with stress - encourage him to exercise regularly ( especially running) it will make him feel a little better until he can find other ways of expressing his feelings.
2007-01-12 02:55:29 · answer #5 · answered by The Pope 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Get him interested in volunteer work for a good cause, some thing that makes him work hard and forget some of his problem, there are plenty of non religious organisations in need of support
2007-01-12 02:49:40 · answer #6 · answered by Agustin-Jean F 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Read (and then recommend if you think it would be suitable) Ecclesiastes in the Bible- that guy went through the sort of stuff your friend seems to be going through...
2007-01-12 03:27:19 · answer #7 · answered by trebor88 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
He just needs a "dream". It doesn't have to be grandiose. Actually, just something to look forward to. Anything so that he know the here and now isn't forever. I'm in much the same boat, but looking forward is key.
2007-01-12 02:47:07 · answer #8 · answered by Paul E 2 · 1⤊ 1⤋
he might be suffering from depression. maybe you should have him checked out by a doctor and see if that's the problem. if it is, treatment will help and the rest of what you are talking about will come when he feels better.
2007-01-12 02:50:03 · answer #9 · answered by bill blasphemy 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you could say,"aye up chuck,fancy a sit in the chapel and counting the bricks in there"?
and for something to hold onto you could actually give him one of the bricks.
2007-01-12 02:50:09 · answer #10 · answered by matured 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋