My girl friend is hiding everything from me.v r togather frm last 15 months bt sharing a flat from last 7 months.everything was fine in the begining bt from last few months things have started changing.even now v r fighting 4 everything,almost everyday.Now even she is hiding me from her collegues.i've found few txt msgs in her cell fone & i spoke 2 her.once i caught her red handed bt i 4gave.4 few things she couldn't satisfy me.bt she always says that she is honest with me.she says as v r from different relegion & different countries so she cant introduce me openly to everyone bt i take her everywhere 2 everyone.even my collegues know that i've girl friend from poland(i m orginally from pakistan).what is going on i don't know.even i said to her lets get seperate.its not that i don't love her.i love her alot even after this situation.but whats the point 2 stay 2gather whn i've 2 b her hidden love.suggest me what 2 do.should i continue & wait 4 the good time or should i end this story?
2007-01-12 02:25:08 · 34 answers · asked by Umar 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Umar, if a girl really, really, really loves you, then your religion and country of origin and race and things like that would be unimportant to her, because she would love YOU for who you are, and not want to change you.
I think that cultural differences could cause arguments to happen if you do things in one way and she is accustomed to another way. BUT, I don't think that it is a valid excuse for her to use as a reason for isolating you from the rest of her life. I think that excuse sounds very, very weak.
She sounds like she's ashamed of you and your background.
I think you ahould try to talk to her about it, in a very calm manner. Put the question to her whether she's ashamed of introducing you as her partner to the people in her life. She may deny it, but look closely at her reactions, and her behaviours, and draw your own conclusions. If you find that she seems to be too ashamed of you, then I think that it would be pointless to continue with you. You don't need to waste your time with someone who values the opinions of others more than she values you.
You should ask her opinion, and discuss with her, what the two of you can do to improve your relationship and overcome the problems that are facing you. If she thinks the problem is insolvable, then you should end the relationship.....
I also think that she could have brought up the subject of country and culture differences as a way to distract you from the real reason that she doesn't want to introduce you around. Maybe she doesn't love you any more, or maybe she's found someone else. You have to really ask yourself if this woman loves you.
Another thing is, regardless of whether you love each other or not, the relationship may not work out. Imagine yourself 5 years from now with her, continuing as you are now. How do you see yourself? If you see yourself as still her "secret lover", hidden away like a dirty secret, then maybe you should seriously think of ending the relationship. It would be a waste of your time to continue, and may in the end help you avoid more pain.
2007-01-12 04:46:34 · answer #1 · answered by vdrt 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I agree that if she wants you to be a part of her life then she needs to be comfortable introducing you and not hiding or keeping you from certain aspects of her life? the different religion and country thing may be an issue to her but she needs to make a decision about what she wants and if she wants to be with you then she will have to face this, u cant have a succesful relationship otherwise!
U need to be careful that u are not looking too much into things though? i have friends that my partner has not met but this doesnt mean that im ashamed of being with him there just hasnt been an opportunity yet, however i DONT hide the fact that i am with him and if she is doing that then there is a problem.
U need to sit down and have a good chat about what u both want and if u want to be together then she has to involve you in her life and face any criticism if that is her concern.(though i doubt there will be) good luck
2007-01-12 02:36:12 · answer #2 · answered by BABY BELL 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You should feel when it's too much or you can stress it enough. If your problem is related to your ethnicity or cultural difference, than I suggest to separate. Some people can't face some things in long term. Also it's up to YOU to decide: I want to resolve this, or I want to end this.
One issue is the moving together, because it might be interesting at first sight, but you loose "magic", if you know what I mean. Try to compensate.
It's not a problem if you fight. It's part of the relationship. Just be it constructive. Have a conclusion at least for yourself. BUT try to be calm and cooperative in general, because problems are not for fighting, they are to be resolved.
Good luck, and learn to FEEL!
2007-01-12 02:36:17 · answer #3 · answered by Zzzuppermen 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
U NEED 2 END THIS STORY AND MOVE ON. WHEN SOMEONE LOVES U THEY DO NOT HIDE U FROM ALMOST EVERYONE IN THE WORLD THEY SHOULD BE VERY HAPPY 2 SAY THIS IS THE LOVE OF MY LIFE. SOMETHING ELSE IS UP AND U NEED 2 FIND OUT WHAT IT IS. U SEEM 2 SOUND LIKE A NICE GUY AND U DESERVE 2 KNOW THE TRUTH. GOOD LUCK.
2007-01-12 02:32:28 · answer #4 · answered by Baby Gurl 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Talk to her tell her things need to change or you are gone.15 months give her a chance to change since you have not talked yet.tell her how you feel exactly don't hold anything back.Tell her to change or you are gone.Cause.......She sounds ashamed of you.And how can a person love someone and feel ashamed?
You need to just move on and find someone who will want to tell everyone in the world how special you are to them not hide you away like some old toy.
Good luck.
You will find someone better.
2007-01-12 02:32:36 · answer #5 · answered by southernbell_1313 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Games man. Some people love to play silly little games like keeping you around until someone else comes along or until they make up their minds on what they want or can get. The oldest game is I can you can't game.If you get tired of the games you'll move on.
2007-01-12 02:31:25 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sweetie, it sounds like you are way to good for her. It will be painful because you are the mature loving person here but you need to let her go and give a woman who deserves you a chance. Life is to short to spend it with someone who doesn't love you. Good luck!
2007-01-12 02:31:07 · answer #7 · answered by auburnc 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
if u really love her and she hidind u from everyone then she maybe have something and in a good relationship u shouldnt have any secrets. so if she has to hide u then ya'll shouldnt be together cause thats not a good relationship and ya'll never get any further than where ya'll at right now
2007-01-12 02:34:53 · answer #8 · answered by jasminwalker23 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Awwwwwwww. I am touched because you are trying to make things work. But, she doesn't want to be with you. Maybe she does, but she doesn't deserve you. You shouldn't have to be hidden. This is her excuse for being able to cheat on you. Don't continue to wait on the fire to start, go find you another flame.
2007-01-12 02:31:12 · answer #9 · answered by *+* Miss NATION*+* 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Give it a month and then see if things have improved.If not then just end the relationship mate.Sorry to say this
2007-01-12 03:33:42 · answer #10 · answered by medic_man 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋