Wedding with a baby?

Question

My sister is currently pregnant and is due in the middle of June. My fiance and I want to get married this summer (mostly because I am going back to school full-time and I am very busy the rest of the year). My sister has been complaining about any date we chose. She complained about it being in late May (which I can understand), but she is also complaining about late August, saying that she will have to take care of the 2 month old the entire time. Aren't 2 month olds, old enough to be babysat for a day? Any suggestions on how to handle this? She is also complaining about the size of the wedding (very small, 15-20 people) and the distance it is from where she lives (only 1 1/2 hours). She is starting to make me not even care if she comes because I find this very selfish. (sorry, most of this is just venting, i'm mostly just curious about how people have handled babies at weddings)

Thank you everyone who answered! You all made me feel much better (I wasn't able to choose a favorite)! I just spoke with my sister and she said that she's rather me have it before baby is born (which surprised me, I'd thought she'd want it afterwards) and also told me that she could work it out anytime but then added a bunch of complaining about if it was after the baby was born. So now my fiance and I are just going to pick a date, time and location and send her an inviation and she can deal with the rest. I'm getting tired of dealing with it and thanks to all of you I realize that she's the one whos overreacting about it all.

Answer 1

it is your wedding, you should plan it how you want, when you want. also, 2 month olds can be babysat for awhile, its not like shes going to be gone for a long time the baby will be fine.

Answer 2

Well if you have the wedding in May there is a chance your sis won't get to be there because she could end up having the baby early. Here is my suggestion if you want her to definately be able to be there. Have your sis bring a friend who you at least somewhat know (assumming you can afford and that it's ok) and bring the baby, if the baby starts crying at a bad time your sis's friend can bring the baby somewhere where he or she won't be heard and calm the baby down then come back when the baby is calm or your sis can go out and take care of her baby at a better time. That way your sis doesn't have to miss the wedding and the baby doesn't have to disturb anyone. A two month might be old enough to be babysat but your sis might be unconforatable with that, or if she is breastfeeding it could be a problem.

Answer 3

This is not your sister's wedding. You do not have to accomodate her. You can tell her the baby is welcome, or the baby should stay home. If she is breast feeding she can pump and store the milk for the sitter. Most new moms are more comfortable with inlaws watching the baby. Your sister may be feeling jealous that you are taking from her big moment. She is having the baby and would like the baby to take center stage. But with the preparation of the wedding, the baby isn't going to be getting the attention she feels is warrented. My guess is this is all unconcious.

Babies at weddings. I don't have a problem with it. I'm a very family oriented person. At 2 months they will be sleeping 90% of the time in their car seat. =)

I would tell your sister that you love her and want her to be there and hope that she can arrange it so that she can come and have the time she wants to have.

Answer 4

It's your wedding and you should plan it for when you and your fiance want to get married and not based on your sister. Take what she says and tell her you will think about it but make sure that you do what you want. A 2 month old can be babysat but if she is breastfeeding she may not want to seperate from the baby so soon. I know I didn't.

Either way, it is your wedding and she will come no matter when you plan it for...just is pregnant and pregnant women can be very moody!

Good luck and congratulations!

Answer 5

Personally, I don't think babies or even very little children belong at a wedding. Little kids don't know what is going on and get restless, and babies can cry at any moment. When my friend got married, her husband wanted his grandchildren there. One toddler kept talking, and the baby started crying right before they were to say their vows. The father didn't take it out of the church, and no one could hear what was being said. Completely ruined that part of the ceremony.

That said! Your sister is being very unfair to you. She has no right to tell you when you get married or how many guests you invite. This is YOUR wedding! Make your plans, and tell her to get a sitter for the baby, or to bring a sitter along to help take care of it. Don't let her make you feel guilty!

Or if you really want the wedding the end of May, just do it. If she gets mad, too bad. Don't let her ruin your day!

Good luck!

Answer 6

Well, this coming from a mother of 5.... Yes a two month old is old enough to be babysat for the day and it will actually be a nice break for your sister. A two month is also capable of being brought to the wedding without too much fuss. It's not like she will be running around after her, she'll bascially eat, sleep and poop.
What amazes me the most is how demanding she is being about YOUR wedding. You wedding needs to planned out to whatever suits you and you other half's wants and dreams and plans... She does not need to be putting in her 2 cents since this really is not her day. What she needs to do is be supportive to whatever the 2 of you decide and deal with it. :-)

Answer 7

It is your wedding, and it is nice of you to try to accomidate her, but she has to understand that this day is your's. I have a three month old neice, who I've babysat. My sis in law pumps milk. She is back and work and has her mom sit every day now, if she is not comfortable with a sitter, a 2 month old sleeps most of the time anyway, could she just bring the baby to the wedding? Maybe she won't have as much fun, but she should want to be there to see her sister get married and she should be the one making adjustments to make that happen. You should not have to worry about that.

Answer 8

My sister did this to me as well. If she doesn't want to come to her sister's wedding, and it sounds as if she doesn't, then she is the one who will have to live with the guilt. Set your date, set your location, and stick to it. It is up to her to whether she wants to come or not. I doubt that she would have to take care of a 2 month old the entire time (2-month olds sleep a lot). Mom, dad, and other relatives will I'm sure be willing to watch the baby here and there. Otherwise, maybe give her the option of bringing a babysitter as a guest (someone that would be responsible during picture-taking sessions, dinner, etc.) That way, the baby could be with her, but she wouldn't have to watch it the entire time.
The most you might have to do is buy an extra meal.

Remember, it is YOUR wedding, not your sister's. Tell her where, when, and how, and it is up to her to show up.

Answer 9

If she will be breastfeeding then no, she cannot be away from the baby for more than 1.5 hours.

Choose whichever day works best for you. If something happens last minute-- she has the baby early or whatever-- then she either needs to bring the baby with her, or choose not to attend. that part is her decision.

Don't carry on about her being selfish-- just stay calm and pick your date as considerately as you can, then stick with your plans. You can't plan ahead for every baby birthing scenario.

If she ends up not being able to attend, you should send her flowers in the hospital (perhaps a smaler duplicate of the bridal bouquet) or at her home on the day of your wedding, as a way for her to share in the festivities even if she is not physically up to attending. This is also nice to do for any grandparents who are in too ill of health to attend.

Answer 10

Whether this was her choice or not, you cannot help the fact that your sister is pregnant. I hate to sound cold, but this is something she needs to deal with, not you.

Plan your wedding when you want it, the size you want it.
Tell your sister you love her & it would mean the world to you to have her at your wedding. But under the circumstances you understand if she chooses not to.

Ps.
I think I'm hearing that your sister is a bit jealous of you & the opportunities you are taking advantage of. She is about to become a mother for the rest of eternity. She doesn't sound too happy about that, which is quite sad. And I'm sure her hormones are off a bit too, but that doesn't entitle her to bad behavior.

Answer 11

I had a three month old and a baby on the way when my brother got married. We hired a babysitter to be with her during the service at the church. The baby was the hit of the dinner after the wedding. it was a wonderful memory.

Make your plans and make some arrangments for a trustworthy babysitter. If she continues to fuss, maybe she isn't able to be in the wedding. It is very sad, but she can't ruien your wedding.