Problems in a small town with the school?

Question

My child goes to a small school in a small town and i got her teacher in trobule for her method of grading and teaching and now when we go to the school and say hello to the other teachers they act as though they do no hear us or will not let my child out of the car when we pull up to let the children out she has to do it herself. And i have spoken to the principal and he says they do not have to say good morning and they only have to let the children that need help out of the car. Any suggestions?

I have gotten a few answers that say the teacher is not a valet. The teachers are out there to let the children out they let everyone else out but my child. And i did go to the teacher first she refused to help so then i went over head i wasnt about to let her fail my child when she had no reason to.

Answer 1

Well, He's right. Not right in what they are doing, but probably right in what they have to do. it should not be that way. However it is. Sometimes when we make a decision to make a complaint, it is the right thing to due, but not the prudent thing.

As your child gets older, she will have more teachers who grade differently and when she is in college, there really is no appeal as to how an instructor grades. If any there is very little.

When I was a Senior doing my undergrad work, I got my 1st B from a Psych professor who was the wife of the Dean of Students. She called me in, told me I had a 96, but needed humbling so she was giving me a B. Again my first. This was a small college and the appeal process would have started with, you guessed it, her husband, because I needed his help for job placement after graduation, I decided to let it ride.

Small college in a small town, I knew what would happen.

I'm not saying she was right or that the teacher was right in your situation, but people in a profession stick together and once one has had an issue, they become skiddish. Though not right, this is really a quite normal human reaction.

In psychology and counseling we learn that we must deal with people's realities and not what should really be.

I have had many years of school and experience beyond, yet much of my wisdonm come to me from my grandma who lived to 102 and I think died without an enemy in the world.

She would have said. "The more you stir a stink the worse it smells" for this and I must concur.

You, most likely, were right and I'm sure your current observation is right. Prudently and over time, if you let it go, even in a small town, people will forget and your child will not get the treatment she is getting. She shouldn't be now, but that is the ideal and not the real world situation.

I doubt you would win a law suit and that would only compound the present problem.

This might be a good time to teach your daughter, as I'm sure you already know, that there are times in life we get greatly disappointed and that people don't always do what is right. it happens everywhere, but small towns are especially noted for this group think anyway.

It also might be a good lesson for her about picking battles. Down the road there will be other school situations that do not appear or are just not right, some are worth going to battle over and others may not be.

It is often in this life not what should be but what is.

That doesn't mean roll over everytime or even ever, but understand what the reality based human reaction will be to any action taken and decide if it is worth it. Some times it is and sometimes it may not be.

I wish you the very best. and I'm sorry for the situation.

(forgive typos and mis-spellings, I don't take time to proof read on here)

Answer 2

IMO--sounds like there is more going on there than you are saying or maybe even than you are aware of. If the teachers are opening doors for other able bodied children, they should be doing the same for yours. By not responding when spoken to, they are setting an example for your child and all the others that when someone does something unpopular everyone should ignore them--depending on the situation, not always a good thing. I would suggest speaking to the principal again and then going to the superintendent if you still feel there is a problem. In one way he is correct--they don't have to open car doors for children--your child should be able to do that herself and they don't have to greet you every time you come to the school--it would be nice, but it's not a requirement. If after you speak to both the principal and superintendent you still feel there is a problem, you should probably go to the entire school board with your concerns. Still don't get anywhere? Find your child a different school and remember to let your child be responsible for her own work--don't badger the teachers--they get enough grief from everyone.

Answer 3

hi,
there are times when things are just not right. this seems to be one of those times. i think that you should let it go. and hopefully it will all pass. you have made you feelings known to the principal and to the teachers. be the better person and not allow it to advance into something that could get nasty. sometimes adult allow things to escalate into more than it really is. not because they want Justice but because they have forgotten what the problem was at first. you do have a ligament problem but again it seems that you should let it go so that your child may have a better school year. hopefully the teacher that started this mess will realize that she or he is acting like the children that they are tiring to teach. and you become the better person. sometimes you have to keep quite to keep the peace for your child. remember you are not there those few hours that your child has to put up with the problem(the teacher). that doesn't mean that you stop lessening to you child. you keep recorders of every complaint, you talk to other moms and dads about the teacher about the principal. make sure to not suggest to them that you feel something is wrong. lessening to others as they speak about the teachers. make notes on what is said and if things are like you think they are take you case to the Bord of education. they will review it and make the proper adjustments.and your child will not have to suffer.

Answer 4

They are suppose to greet each child equally but it is not mandontory that they get each child out of the car that does not need help. However, if they help all the other children out and not your child that is wrong and they should not do that.

I think I would request a meeting with all involved and I would let them know that if they so choose to be mad at me that is fine, but they cannot and will not take it out on my child. You did what you thought was right so that you could help your child. If this kind of thing continues tell them that you will put your child in another school and you will have them paying the tuition. You can do that even in small town schools.

Answer 5

Nope teachers don't have to say good morning and they don't have to help your child out of the car, they are teachers not valets.

Answer 6

There is some good advise above and not so good.

Rumbler seems to combine common sense with, I'm guessing professional experience. some others give very similar advice to his.

As a mom of 6 living in a relatively small town, I have to agree.

Letting it go now would be best and time will make this better for her. Many good lessons of how life really is can cmoe to you and your daughter.

It is sad when we are right, but have to relent. sometimes, as some of the others say as well, it is the best thing for our kids and us too. There are many advantages for our kids in small towns so I feel it is worth it.

It happens in cities too, though, people who are alike stick together.

I certainly wouldn't sue over this, besides you are still in their backyard and you would most likely lose.

Answer 7

Maybe the whole prob. was in ur approach. I would have gone directly to the teacher herself & quest. quest. & re-? til it makes sense to you. When u go over someones head u stir stink-up.

Answer 8

What was her method of teaching and grading? I find it highly suspect that all the teachers have turned on you if she were really doing something wrong. Are you sure you're not just a crazy parent?

Answer 9

Unfortunatly, welcome to a small town and small school. I would go to the school board about it and talk to the principle once again, and if that doesnt help, get a lawyer

Answer 10

THEY ARE PROBABLY AFRAID TO SAY SOMETHING BECAUSE OF WHAT HAS HAPPEN. AND FOR THE PRINCIPAL I WOULD TALK TO HIM AGAIN AND TELL THEM THAT THEY SHOULDN'T TREAT YOUR CHILD ANY DIFFERENT FROM THE OTHER CHILDREN, TALK TO THE SCHOOL BOARD AND SEE IF THEY CAN DO ANYTHING ABOUT IT. ITS DISCRIMINATION.AND IF THAT DON'T HELP CONTACT A LAWYER AND SEE WHAT HE CAN DO FOR YOU. GOOD LUCK.