Why do women change their minds about wanting kids?

Question

I asked this before and didn't really get many answers to the actual question. What makes a sensible woman go from 'I don't ever want kids' to having one? Could it happen to me?

Answer 1

because as women we are always evolving. we change our minds, and think. It happened to me I never wanted kids when I was 20ish but I had them when I got older. You grow up you change your mind your life changes and you evolve.

Answer 2

I think you really don't want kids but you are worried about the pressures from outside (your mum, friends, colleagues, partners etc.). You are worried that they will talk you into doing it and you'll end up giving in just to please the people around you. You worry that you'll resent this decision. Some women aren't meant to be mothers and no matter how hard they try they will not be good mothers (although they can be the most loyal of friends). I feel as if you won't change your mind about how you feel (and you can't understand how other women can - but they can!), however, I feel that with time you might give in to the constant nagging and you are just hoping at the moment that something inside you clicks and actually make you want kids because you feel you don't want to let people down. One thing you need to remember: YOU are the one living your life and not another person. If you are not comfortable with something don't let other people attack you for it. You are the one that would have to live with a mistake you made not another person. I know my mum wasn't meant to be a mother (deep down she resented giving up her exciting life that she had before we came around - and blamed us for it) and I'd rather not be here than having spoilt her life. If this is how your would-be kids could feel then you are best staying put with your decision. I've made my decision not to have kids and, even though I'm with the 'right person' and only 30 I'm happy with this decision.

Answer 3

I have a close friend who swore up and down she would never have children. She now has a 7 month old. I think its a combination of factors. Her friends starting having kids. She started to get a little older and she realized that she had only a small window of opportunity to have children if she wanted to.

I didn't think when I was younger that I would have kids either. I didn't want to parent the way I was parented and I didn't see myself as very maternal or liking babies. I have a 1 year old now and I can't imagine not having her and I would take a bullet for her. That maternal instinct kicks in!

Where you are at one point in your life is not where you will be later in life. There is nothing wrong with changing your mind about kids either.

Answer 4

Because you change so much as you get older and let's face it, having kids is biologically what we are programmed to do. Some women never change their minds but a lot do. A woman I worked with was adamant she never wanted children and complained like mad that no doctors would sterilize her because she was only 30. The last I hear she had a baby and was a doting mother! I certainly wouldn't be without my son. It's extremely hard work and there are times I'd love to be able to just go out whenever I want and be able to spend my money on something totally pointless but wonderful just for me, but when I get a hug and a kiss at bedtime and he says "I love you Mummy" there's absolutely nothing in the world I'd exchange that for.

Answer 5

I wonder why women say harsh things, mostly -I am addressing HD. Just because you don't want to have children doesn't mean you are selfish. I personally have no children and I am more than happy about that decision, I am almost 30 and my biological clock does not tick, because I bashed into the ground.My husband is a wonderful ,brilliant man who does not want children
either. The Universe blessed me with many talents and gifts, also
to put things into prospective, just because you can do something doesn't mean it is the correct decision for your soul.Also children are expensive and repressive. You cannot just pick up and go to Morocco on a whim if you desire. Also - there is no guarantee that your children will care for you when you when you are elderly either.

Answer 6

Sometimes I think as a woman ages, she moves into a different stage of life. They become more mature, settled with their career and significant other which makes them change their minds. I have heard some women say when they get old, they want some family members of their own. Yeah, nieces and nephews are cool but they do not belong to that woman.

Answer 7

A lot of young women seem to go thru a stage where they say they dont want kids. Mostly they are thinking about all that has to be "given up" and decide they dont want to. But as they get older and in more stable relationships they change their minds and realize that you dont have to give up that much mostly just stuff thats not too good for you anyway.

Answer 8

I think age brings on women changing their minds about having children. My cousin used to say she didn't want children when she was younger and when she got married, a career and a home she ended up having 5 children and they are a very happy family. I think when women are younger, they are enjoying their lives and they think children will mess up what they are doing.
I knew a retired teacher who didn't have children while she was married. As she became older she said she wished she had children because she feels lonesome especially doing the holidays. She had nieces and nephews but they visit once or twice a year because they lived out of state and they had families of their own. She said she thought about adopting a child but by decided not to. To answer your question, you may change your mind especially the older you become. Children are a blessing.

Answer 9

Well... I always thought that I'd want kids at some point, just not wheen I was in my early twenties. So I'm not very surprised that now (at 27) I'd very much like one.

However, I've a good friend who swore she'd never want a child but when she fell deeply in love she started thinking that she'd like this man's children. Yet another friend (who's married) doesn't want kids, never has and never will.

So the answer is.. some women grow into it, some women fall in love and want to have a baby WITH someone (as opposed to wanting a baby), and some women never change their minds.

Any help?

Answer 10

I always assumed I would have kids. Then I met my husband and we have such a good life that we can't imagine turning it upside down anymore. I'm 35 so I think I know my mind by now. Kids are lovely don't get me wrong,but don't underestimate the work involved, you can't even pop to the shops without a military operation or a babysitter! As you get older different things become important to you and for me having kids is something I do not want to do, physically, emotionally or financially (much to my parents dismay!) Life the life you want not the life you are expected to lead.

Answer 11

Okay, I was the same as you I decided I wasn't going to have kids as I had too many other things that I wanted to do. I got pregnant by accident and whether it was the hormones I suddenly found that I really couldn't bear the thought of terminating the pregnancy. After I had my first child I decided that he was enough and I definitely wasn't going to have any more, but it didn't turn out that way, I split up with my husband and have since married again, which brings me to another reason women change their minds - because they're with the right man and they want to have a child with that person. I can't really explain properly on here - it's like you're so in love with them you're like oh my god I want to have your babies!