My husband and I just got married...want to have a baby..?

Question

We are family planning. Right now I am in college. By the time I am finished and have a job I will be 31 ish. So lets say I have a baby around 32 or 33 and he will be 47 or 48 (15 years older than me). Do you think that is too old to start a family? What would you do? Would you forget about it all together? I know we have alot of love to give and will be better off financially as well.
Serious answers only PPLLEEAASSEE!

Thanks so much!

Answer 1

I am 61, my beautiful wife is 55, she had her last child when she was 40.
She had the first in her 20's.
There is a substantial difference between raising children as we age than when we are younger and more agile.
Certainly not impossible or undesirable.
Children at any age are, indeed, a blessing.
Get your doctor's recommendations.
Start exercising now if you don't already (muscle tone and endurance are almost requirements for parents).
And God bless you, a prospective parent who actually thinks about the future, what a marvel you are. Seriously.

Answer 2

It's impossible to say. My husband and I waited until everything was "perfect" in our lives. We waited until we were married, had a nice house, and we were financially stable enough for me to be a stay-at-home mom. We started trying, expecting to easily get pregnant, and nothing happened. We used ovulation predictor kits, bought an expensive ovulation monitor -- tried all the tricks in the book -- and nada. The doctors wouldn't even see us until we had tried for a year because we were "too young" (in our mid/late 20s) so they didn't take us seriously. Once we finally did see a doctor there was months of testing involved, only to find out that they couldn't find anything wrong with us. Then we had to go through procedures to get pregnant only to lose the baby. The entire experience was a nightmare. In the end, we decided to adopt, and much to our surprise, found out we were pregnant about 2 weeks before adopting our son. We have 2 kids 13 1/2 months apart in age. We became parents twice in the span of 7 months. I don't regret the way things turned out, but the last few years has been very, very stressful. If I had to do it again, taking the love I have for my children out of the mix and looking at it from a pragmatic view-point, I wouldn't have waited. We would have bought a smaller house, trusted that the finances would have worked themselves out somehow, and got started sooner.

Of course that is just my situation. I know of lots of people who waited and got pregnant within the first couple of months. It's something you can't predict and something you have no control over.

As far as being too old to have kids, you certainly won't be at 32 or 33. Most of the moms I know started their families in their early 30s. Yeah, your hubby is older, and that does bring some issues to the table, but you knew that when you married him. It must be something the two of you discussed. There is the possibility that your husband won't be around as long as you will be for your kids (take it from me -- losing a parent in your early 30s is a devastating experience) but on the flip-side, older dads often have more patience for their children than dads in their 20s. Someone said that men can produce sperm their entire lives. While that is true, there are other risk-factors to look at. A study was recently done in Israel, I think, that looked at autism rates in relation to the father's age. The rate was higher in older fathers. That's something to consider too, not that you can ever predict the health of a child -- even if you were both 20.

Good luck with your decision.

Answer 3

Remember 30 is the new 20 (or so i heard ;)) my husband and I arent plannign a family until I'm 30-31 (1-2 years) and although you have to be more careful about some things (your doc will go through all this with you) its still a good age to have a baby. My doc told me the best age (mentally and pysically) for a woman to have a baby is between 25 and 35. Your husband will only be in his 50s when they are a teenager so he should still be young enough to keep up with them. It really comes down to how much the both of you want to have children. There are other options to having a baby yourself too if you really want children but have some problems.

Answer 4

I strongly advise you to finish college and get a decent job. I graduated from college, got pregnant and started my family. It's been over 10 years since I graduated and still am not using my BA in English. I have 3 children now (ages 4-10) and when my youngest starts school, I plan on pursuing a job, finally. I don't regret having started a family first, but I advise you to wait for several reasons:

Spend time with your husband and enjoy the grown up life. Once you have children, you will have little time for yourself or you husband.

Pursue a career from which you can always take a pregnancy leave, if needed. Get your career rolling first. With this, you'll earn money and you can buy a nice home for your future children.

I am currently in my early 30's and I have a (close to) 4 year old. It is a good age to be a parent. Your 30's are your prime years. Enjoy them and then have children.
Good luck!

Answer 5

hey dark angel men dont stop producing sperm so dont u worry he will not be too old. U on the other have a biological clock. dnt know what it is u studying and how hectic ur schedule is but if its not bad have u considered having ur baby now.i dont think 31 is too old only u and ur husband need to maybe decide how many children u having.womens bodys are not the same anymore so it gets bit dangerous for mom and baby the older mom gets.im doing my last year in med school i would have my baby most definately.i dont think u shouldnt forget bout it think u thinking that because u scared.a baby is a miracle and i wish u a good pregnancy and a healthy gorgeous baby.

Answer 6

I had my children young and then older ; I was a better parent older b/c I learn more in the world; I had more patience, more understanding; wasn't in a rush with things ; sometimes when people plan by age, nature doesn't assist; you need to start a family when it is right for you ; money comes and goes and sometimes if you wait for money , you risk a family. You could have money, someone could lose a job, get sick etc so no plan is set in stone no matter how hard you plan ; It is what is right for you.

Answer 7

I understand your plight totally. But in this day and age people are honestly waiting til later to have a family. There is no way you can tell if you are going to be too old. Your age is in your body, mind and spirit. Until then just try to keep fit on your part and your hubby as well, but don't limit yourself. Love is blind and so is age, 47 is now 37 if you eat the right veggies.

Answer 8

seriously think and pray about this with your mate. people who dont know your situation are not best suited to answer this. but some people are more emotionally and financially stable to handle a baby at an this age. more mature. having a baby is not just planning the year to have it, it also depends if your heart and mental attitude are ready for it. even still no amount of preparation can prepare you for the love joy and blessings that a new bundle can create. not to mention the obvious- the time and responsibility. so many parents lack the time to give to the children today. you need to give a child alot of time

Answer 9

33 is a fine age to have a baby. The medical implications for pregnancy do not change until a woman turns 35. After 35, the risk of complications and birth defects increases. I wish you joy and happiness with your future child. Older parents often make better parents because they are more stable in every aspect of their lives and have more experience. Good luck.

Answer 10

I don't think you are too old but he might be. When your child is 10 years old, he'll be 60. My grandparents (ages 60 and 67) have a 16 year old, and it can sometimes make things hard for her. But, who am I to say. If you have lots of love and energy to give, and you're prepared for what raising a child entails, why not. Just go into it with both eyes wide open.