Kids at a wedding?

Question

My Fiance & I come from large families with lots of little kids. We decided that in order to keep the day special for his son/my future step-son, who is 5, we have limited the reception to no children, except for 1st cousins age 13 & above. Is this acceptable/fair? (Also, children cost $75 per head)

Answer 1

I think that is fair. Just don't make any exceptions.

Answer 2

I am of the camp that think weddings are an adults only affair. Kids will be kids and that means it will be an unpredictable night if they are included. And by unpredictable I mean stressful, you never know if you will walk to your cake and find a big finger swipe through the icing or a few gifts torn open or a big soda stain down the back of your dress. Plus I dont think parents get to relax and enjoy the event if they are constantly keeping an eye out that the little ones dont cause trouble. I have two kids of my own, I wouldnt bring my kids to any event like a wedding, they just dont belong there.

I love the idea an above poster had of hring a couple of teens and putting them in a room down the hall, if you have the means to afford such a thing I think that should be the answer. You will be able to drop your son there as well and he wont be bored with an adult party.

If this isnt an option though I would highly recommend that you have someone come and get your son probably after the dinner part of your reception. This will give you and your husband a chance to enjoy your party, again without worrying about junior. Plus, with no kids around, a long day and loud music, he might not be bored an not in the very best of moods. He is only 5, he wont feel that he is missing anything.

Best wishes!

Answer 3

Unless you're having the wedding in a private chapel, a church wedding is a public ceremony. You can say that it's a 'no children' wedding, but some friends and relatives always bring their kids if they feel like it!

However, it's your absolute right to invite whom you want to invite to a reception. My wife and I were invited to a number of weddings when our well behaved children were not ... they were much younger at the time. We never were insulted ... we just got a baby-sitter for the time we were there. At the extreme cost of receptions these days, it's not only your privilege to limit attendance, but prudent and practical too!

To make sure there isn't an embarrassing scene on the wedding day, you should print "No Children" on the invitation and do an accurate head count for the reception, based on the people who R.S.V.P. ... then stick to your guns! If uninvited children show up at the wedding, someone will have the unpleasant job of reminding those people that they can't come to the reception.

Answer 4

That's a tough one. I understand why you want to do this, but considering you both come from families with a lot of children, I wouldn't recommend it, for many different reasons. For one thing, there may be adults wanting to come to the wedding, but would be unable to, due to not being able to find a babysitter. Not to mention if some of them have children of different ages enabling some but not all the children to attend, then the fact that some adults/family might be offended and possbily not even attend. I would hire someone (or a couple people) (or even see if anyone would volunteer) to watch the kids in a room to the side, with some cheap meals/snacks like mac n cheese or chicken nuggets with some fruit or crackers n cheese for snacks or something, so that it's low cost, and everyone is happy and able to attend. Just my opinion. Also, what will your 5 year old step-son be doing? I'm sure he'll be bored to tears! It would be nice to have kids to play with, but you can't make exceptions. It has to be none or all. Another reason to allow children, but again, I would have some toys in a room/section off to the side to do so (of course with supervision).

Answer 5

it is very fair! there are some weddings that have absolutley NO children! and for that much money a head, WOW, yea they can stay home! Most of the time, people find babysitters for these things anyway! I thought there were going to be a ton of kids at my wedding. The parents decided on a night by themselves. I even made like a kids table at the reception with gummy bears and worms, color wonder coloring stuff(so they didn't write on anyone or anything), all kinds of stuff. I had 4 children!

Answer 6

That sounds like a very odd reason to restrict kids at a wedding. Are you hoping that all the old biddies in the family will be forced to pay attention to him and him alone 'cause he's the only small one at the party?

He's gonna get wicked bored really fast if he's at a kid-free reception. I highly agree with whomever said to try and make arrangements for childcare (you can probably do it for much less than $75/head!), but bear in mind that *he* might want to be there too rather than having to sit quietly while the grownups talk and occasionally fuss over him.

Answer 7

It is acceptable. My fiance and I are doing the same thing. We don't have a lot of kids in the families but most of our friends have young children. For our wedding we are enclosing a note with the invitations that says no children unless they are part of the ceremony(ring bearer, flower girl, etc.) and those kids also have a parents or two in the wedding ceremony. We've already talked to the parents and they've already made arrangements for the kids to go stay with a babysitter for that evening.

Answer 8

Weddings are special and they cost a lot of money, especially the reception part. You are in a no win situation. Your kid will be bored out of his mind, if he is the only five year old there. You could hire a sitter and do like someone else suggested get a kiddy room with pizza, chicken and etc. and let them run loose in that room only. I personally would say no to kids they get bored easily and then they get out of control. My wedding was at night, therefore, everybody new no kids.. Good luck

Answer 9

At $75 a head for the kiddies, I can imagine you wanting to cut back. BUT here's something to think about. Your 5 year old stepson is going to be bored out of his mind. I'm assuming that you're not holding the "no kids" stuff to your stepson, as I'm pretty sure that both you and his father want him to be a part of your big day. As far as being "fair", I don't think that's fair to the 5 year old kid. He's going to be stuck with some "stuffy" adults and some 13 year olds he has absolutely nothing in common with. Personally, I'd lift the ban on the kids, talk to your reception site, explain to them that you've got some kids coming, and ask them if you can just bring in pizza or something. (I wish you the best of luck with this one, because alot of reception sites don't allow ANY outside food.) If you HAVE to do the "No Kids" stuff, I would try to at least make sure there's one or 2 kids there in your kids age range. (Thinking back to when I was 5 years old...wouldn't want to be the only kid in my age range at ANYTHING)

Answer 10

Well, it is your wedding and you can do what you want.
BUT in my opinion having some children there and not others isn't fair. I don't know why it would keep the day special for your little ones without having other children there to play with.

Do they offer children's meals? $75 seems a bit harsh.

Answer 11

If you don't want the children at the reception that is fine. It would be nice if you could find something for the children to do. A cheap solution would be to hire some responsible people to do some babysitting. Maybe some college students to serve some refreshments and watch some movies at someone's house.