My parents have agreed to pay the $5000 rental fee for the place for our wedding & reception (a restored lake house) & the $140 per person catering/bar fee for 125 guests.
My Fiance comes from a split family, so we have agreed that each family (my parents, his father/step-mother, his mother/step-father & he/i) can invite 32 people. If anyone wants to go over that number that family must pay the $140 per person fee in order for those guests to attend. For example, my Fiance's mother wants to invite 40 people, she/her husband will have to pay for the 8 extra people to come. Do you think this is fair? We know we could have the wedding somewhere cheaper & have more people, but thats not what is important to us. To us, the importance lies in having the wedding somewhere personal to us with those closest to us. Also, his parents have not yet volunteered to contibute anything to the wedding.
2007-01-12 01:07:19 · 8 answers · asked by Kirsten S 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Weddings
I think you have very generous parents and they have a very intelligent daughter. I think you idea is fair to everyone.....good thinking! Wish you both a wonderful life together!
2007-01-12 01:11:42 · answer #1 · answered by LoneStarLou 5 · 1⤊ 1⤋
It's totally fair. Your parents have been generous and have set the budget and it's important that you stick to it.
Remember though, it is very likely that not 100% of the 125 people you invite will RSVP that they will be there...some will decline. You might want to allow everyone to invite an extra 2-4 people to allow for this. You might end up paying for an additional person or two, but in the end it's not as big a deal... your wedding will run smoothly and everything will come together. You'll realize it was a waste of energy to sweat the small stuff.
Now.... I feel 8 additional people at $140 a pop *is* asking too much so yes...I think it's totally fair that you ask them to pay for any additionals beyond your projected budget.
2007-01-12 09:23:37 · answer #2 · answered by Rach 3 · 1⤊ 1⤋
There is nothing like a wedding to ruffle family feathers.
I would respectfully disagree with the above comment and agree with the remainder of your answerers. The way you have described this arrangement puts everyone on equal footing and shows great generosity by your parents. I doubt that all 40 of your future MIL's guests are close family, probably many are friends of hers and not that close to you and your fiancee. It is, after all, YOUR wedding, not hers. By the same token, family is what you make it. I have some close friends that I've known well for a long time who have done more to add to my life than my cousin's great-aunt Sadie. I would no more leave them out of my guest list than not invite my mother. Don't sacrifice your list of dear ones on the altar of distant family. I think your future MIL will understand the fairness of your plans. If not, if you expect to have a high rate of people sending their regrets, then in the interests of family harmony perhaps a few more won't make much difference, but only in that situation.
2007-01-14 21:03:50 · answer #3 · answered by fragileindustries 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think it's fair. You're only going to do this once, and it should be perfect in every detail so you will fondly remember the day forever.
Your parents are being incredibly generous in their financial support, and 32 people per family is more than suitable. Anymore than that should be considered "extras", and asking the family to pay the extra cost is not the least bit unreasonable.
Enjoy your day.
2007-01-12 09:49:36 · answer #4 · answered by Happy Wife 4 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Absolutely...that is very fair. As long as they know that there is a limit to funding, they can't really fight over having more people invited...especially since they aren't paying the 5k to begin with...they should pay the $140 per head at least...
2007-01-12 10:32:56 · answer #5 · answered by VAWeddingSpecialist 6 · 1⤊ 1⤋
I don't like the concept of you "selling" these invitation spots to your future in-laws.
If they have not yet volunteered to contribute to the wedding (they are not required to do so, btw-- after all, your parents are the ones that seem to have volutneered to host), the way to get them to contribute is not to "ransom" additional invitation slots to them.
The groom should work together with his parents to try to create the guest list representing his side, keeping that "32" number in mind but not being so petty as to say, "Mom and Dad, remember, you start paying with invitation number 33."
You and the groom get your OWN 32? For whom? Friends? It would be most respectful to include all appropriate family first, and then worry about friends at the END of the guest list creation.
2007-01-12 12:24:06 · answer #6 · answered by Etiquette Gal 5 · 1⤊ 4⤋
I think it is fair. It is your wedding and if they want to ask more than their 32 ppl, then they should pay for it.
2007-01-12 09:12:03 · answer #7 · answered by mamadeira_09 3 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Your parents are being more than generous.So any extra's his parents should pay for.Don't let them take advantage of your parents..Good luck and congratulations on your upcomming wedding.
2007-01-12 09:43:43 · answer #8 · answered by Maureen B 5 · 1⤊ 1⤋