My sister asked me to be her Maid of Honor but under one condition I have to cover up my tattoos?

Question

I'm a female artist/ tattooist, so I'm covered in tattoos both arms covered, almost from head to toe and I usually have colored hair too...and my sister {WHO IS PREGNENT, AND WILL BE 8 MONTHS IN APRIL at her wedding} just asked me to be her Maid of Honor or Matron of Honor at her wedding in April. And keep in mind this is her second wedding in 2 years and her soon to be husband was her ex-husbands “good/best friend“, and she got pregnant…before she was divorced. She asked me to cover-up my tattoos, because of pictures?? For a certain image? and here is another thing I'M VERY ALLERGIC TO MAKE, ALL MAKE-UP since the born of my daughter...SHOULD I FEEL HONORED TO BE IN HER WEDDING, AND WEAR A COLLARED DRESS AND LONG SLEEVES IN THE SPRING TIME IN APRIL?

Answer 1

No.You should not have to change or alter who you are for anyone else.It would be like you telling your sister that you won't stand up for her because she is pregnant.Sit down and talk to your sister tell her that you love her very much and that you except her for who she is and that she need's to do the same for you.Nobody has the right to try and take anyones individualualality away.Continue to be yourself and be proud.Good luck to you.

Answer 2

I would think out of honor and respect you could go along with her "wanting" an image for her wedding. There should be some way to have some sort of sleeve that will work for spring without being too hot or overwhelming ... maybe in a jacket so that when the ceremony and album pictures are over you can be more comfortable. And then when your time comes she can agree to dye her hair any color to match your wedding plans !!! Even if it's not her first I still think it honors the couple that is ... maybe this is the one that lasts (looking back at the album always leaves much to question she's just trying to minimize the what were we thinking factor) good luck to the family

Answer 3

I dont know. I tend to think yes you could cover them, but the other day another poster asked if it was ok to ask her sister to dye her hair another color and just about everyone said that she was selfish and rude, that he sisters hair was the way she was. Well your tatoos are who you are, so should you have to put make-up on. No absolutely not. But the idea of the dress with the jacket might be a good compromise for the two of you. It is afterall her wedding day and she wants the pictures to be nice. Tatoos are eye catching, they just pop, covering them for the cermony and pictures would keep the focus on your sister who is after all the bride and should be the main attraction. At the reception, take the jacket off and have a great time. But for the formality of the event try to make it work in a way that makes both you and her happy.

Answer 4

Tell your sister that concealing make-up is not an option for you because otherwise you will get red and blotchy and screw up her pictures that way, so the only option would be for you to wear a collared dress with long sleeves...and thus *ALL* her bridesmaids would be forced to wear collared dresses with long sleeves so you all match. (I suspect that somebody who is concerned about how the pictures look will also be very concerned about making all her bridesmaids match.)

Odds are she'll withdraw the offer because none of the other bridesmaids would want to go through that either. On the other hand, if she does impose that on all the other girls, it says something about how seriously she wants your support as MoH.

Speaking of MoH and support, you do realize there's usually more to that "position" than just showing up at the wedding and holding her bouquet when they do the ring exchange, right? The MoH is usually asked to help organize things, make follow-up phone calls to various vendors (flowers, food, etc.), help set up, help take down, and put together a bridal shower and possibly a bachelorette party. Are you also willing to take on all that? If not, then you probably want to just politely decline, and say you're honoured, but you don't have the time to make that sort of commitment to *her* life.

Answer 5

Look at it this way . . . at least she gave you the option to be in the wedding. I am planning a wedding for fall of 2008 and I needed one more bridesmaid to keep the number even with the groomsmen. I had two people in mind, I was closer to the one, but she’s cover in tattoos as well. I did not want her tattooed imagine in my wedding picture either. I decided to go with my other friend so that it would not be an issue that I had to address. If you are not willing to cover up for one day to aid in making your sister’s day more memorable, then you don’t deserve to be the Maid of Honor in the first place. Besides you can not be all that close if you are willing to air out all her dirty laundry. Life never goes as plan. I do not see how her relationship history correlates with weather or not you should cover up your tattoos.

Answer 6

Well two ways to look at it. Are you really close to your sister? If you have a problem with the make up tell your sister. You can just cover your sleeves for the wedding but at the reception you should "let it all hang out." You are doing a courtesy for your sister and it is a one time thing. Hea, even get a picture of yourself and see what you look like if you were nearly normal. lol If she insists on the makeup, tell her then that you insist on not being the maid of honor. Besides, I thought hypoallergenic makeup was for those allergic to regular make up. Tit-for-tat now.

Answer 7

I agree with the first answer. That is who you are and I think the long sleeves on a dress can be very pretty. A friend of mine wore one to a weeding because of scars and it was very flattering.

I wouldn't stand for it. Just to be a part of her wedding should be enough, regardless of her situation. And they do make tatoo make-up, but unless you have it done professionally it looks horrid. Since you are allergic, don't. Also, my sister copped out of bering my Maid of honor, and I was heart broken. There has to be a compromise. Just work with her. Weddings, as I am sure you know, are awful to organize and you both are probably stressed. I would explain to her how you feel and let it be. She will come around. You are her sister after all! You should be a part of her day! Don't you think?

Answer 8

Well if it's for picture purposes I can understand. Maybe she doesn't have so much of a problem with it but maybe it's the groom's side of the family who wants a clean photo, so who knows. It is just for one day, I mean it's not like she's asking you to hang up your values for good, right? Cuz I don't buy her being all conservative so suddenly if she's having a kid out of wedlock.

I do SPFX make up and I'd just airbrush over it, but since you're allergic maybe you could fashion nude pantyhose into short sleeves like the goths do with fishnets. Just to let your skin breathe. It's an old movie trick we use when we want to 'erase' out certain body parts and doesn't show up on film.

And wear long lacy gloves ala your-style, to offset the possible blandness of your dress. That should cover enough.

Answer 9

I think you are trying to bring in a morality issue to a situation that doesn't need one.

Your sister obviously feels that you would be the person she most treasures to have standing next to her in her wedding. There are a couple of key points to this statement. 1)She choose you. 2)It's HER wedding. and 3)You have the option to decline.

Therefore you really have two choices:

1) Accept the honor and dress according to her wishes remembering it is HER wedding.
2) Decline and dress the way you want.

Both of these options have their own set of consequences. The first option means you have to set asside your personnal feelings in order to create the wedding experience for your sister that she desires. The second option means you make some morality judgement on your sister and your presence at the wedding with your tattoos exposed will create tension and possibly be disruptive to the wedding.

So.. there's your choice. I think it's pretty simple one. Dress as your sister request, feel honored that she asked you and help make her wedding memorable.

Good luck and I hope this helps.

Answer 10

Perhaps a compromise - a lot of very pretty dresses have a "jacket" that you could wear for the pictures and ceremony and would look seasonally appropriate and you can remove it for the reception.

(Example)
http://www.davidsbridal.com/social_dresses_detail.jsp?stid=2682&prodgroup=54


Perhaps she is trying to do things "right" this time - even if it is just a facade - somepeople fake it until they make it. And maybe she is really just bridezilla.

And it could be pregnancy hormones. Small things take on so much importance when you are preg. - especially stressed about a wedding.

In either way - you want this to work out for her since she is going to have a child, and you want to keep the peace with you so you can have relationship as an aunt to this baby.

So take a deep breath and find that middle ground.

Answer 11

If she was asking you to cover the tattoos because she doesn't approve of the tattoos, I would be offended. If she's asking you to cover the tattoos because some of the pictures are considered obscene or offensive, I would at least consider doing it, as a one time favor to my sister. It could be that she isn't the one who will be offended by it, and she's trying to keep everyone happy.
If you really don't approve of her marriage and her pregnancy, I would tell her that I was honored to be asked, but that I was unable to do it at this time, and that she should ask one of her friends. I wouldn't tell her that I didn't approve, I think that she will be as hurt by your disapproval as you are hurt by hers.
Maybe she isn't the one who would disapprove of the tattoos...maybe she thinks that she is protecting you from the disapproval of other people that are important to her.
I would want my future in-laws to approve of my sister...she is very important to me. I would go out of my way, and even risk offending her to make her look good in their eyes...
It might end up being really hard to sit back and watch your sister do something this significant, and not be a part of it...good luck with your decision!!