For those who have homeschooled or have been homeschooled...?

Question

I hear from a lot of people that they plan to home school their children up to a certain grade level (middle school, high school). What i'd like to know is how is the transition for kids at that age? I know changing schools is hard enough at 12 or 14 years old but what is the experience like to go from a classroom of one or two (or more if it is a co-op) to a classroom of 25 (and more considering our middle school has 1600 kids)? Is it a tough adjustment - I mean, that is a hard age to start at with less focus on one child, not to mention the cliques.
If you could please share your experiences with me, both academic and social. It is an option that I'm exploring for my son.
Thank you for taking time to answer this.

My exploration into homeschooling has little to do with protecting him and mostly to do with wanting the best education possible for him. It is only one of the options I am considering since many schools around here are losing accreditation making it difficult for graduates to enter their desired colleges and universities. BTW- he is 2.5 years old and I have no intention to send him to pre-school but we are involved with several playgroups along with a few organized settings.

Answer 1

A lot of hsers who choose to return to an institutional school setting do so at a time when they would switch schools anyway. By this I mean the start of middle school or the start of high school. These classes are often a blend of different schools anyway and more kids will be looking for new friends.

I want to address this idea of not being ready socially. It is true that your son will probably not get the culture of schooled kids. Remember all the petty behavior, bad language and mean tricks that kids pull? We don't let them do that at home because, *we are not raising our kids to be kids, but to eventually be good adults*. Adults do not act like kids, for good reason. Your son will probably be more adult, i.e. kinder and more authentic, than the other kids. Because of that, he may have a hard time fitting in if he decides to return to a scholastic institution before college.

Good luck. As long your son has such a wonderfully involved and caring parent as you, he will come out fine, no matter what path you choose.

Answer 2

Of all the kids I know who left homeschooling for public school in junior high or high school (probably about 10 or so), only 1 came back to homeschooling because of school not turning out to be a good fit for him at all. The others are still there or are graduated. So, I'm guessing the transition went just fine!

ADDED:
I just re-read the question and had a new thought come to mind: what makes changing schools so hard at ages 12 and 14 is the desire to be accepted by peers and afraid that you won't do the right things, say the right things, wear the right things, like the right things. Homeschooled students don't usually have those conerns. They tend to be rather confident once they hit junior/senior high and they don't worry so much about fitting in. At least, the ones I know have been like that and I've read anecdotes from other people indicating that. These were, admittedly, kids who were active in the world in some way before heading to school, be it sports, homeschooling groups, community classes... And if you start homeschooling from the beginning, chances are your child will be rather independent in his learning by age 12 or 14--so he won't be expecting help every 10 seconds--and you preparing him by letting him know what a classroom is like and what the expectations are, even talking about stuff you see in shows or movies, will help him out.

Answer 3

From what I've read on homeschooling *most* kids do well. There are a few unfortunates like the girl who posted that she didn't even know what a cuss word was (which I can't even fathom...my kids have learned all they should not know from being at the park)

Academically they are usually on par and sometimes advanced. Socially, they fit in with a majority of the children, and quickly learn the ins and outs of school society.Really there are so many cliques that it is relatively easy to find where you fit in.

Because teens are built emotionally to be social at that age, it will be much easier to put them in. Just don't isolate your child now, let them live in the real world.

Answer 4

Hi! I was home-schooled from 3rd grade to 8th grade, and while I got good grades and even had social interaction with other homeschoolers once a week when I got into 8th grade I was blown away socially, meaning I was this sweet uncorrupted 13 year old girl thinking shut up was a cuss word and shoved into the world where I was so naive that I couldn't tell who my friends were and didn't understand why the kids were so disrespectful towards other people and the social groups were torture because I couldn't fit in.I chose to go against the flow, Educationally I was a whiz I was way ahead of my peers and I was bored in class. I am not knocking homeschooling it was great but as much as we want to shield our children from the world to me I felt I wasn't socially prepared for the world. As long as you expose your child to other children on a regular basis and allow then to see how the real world works and how the real world treats people your child will be well adjusted.

Answer 5

That's a good question, and I've liked reading the answers other posters have given.

I have always hs'ed my 2 kids, who are in grades 7 & 8 right now. They do not want to go to school. I have always used traditional teaching methods and textbooks, so if we were ever in an area where I liked the local schools, they would have that option. So far that hasn't happened. Where we live now the other junior highers they know can BARELY read sentences, which is not very motivating for me OR them. So...this might not be a decision you need to make right now. It might just help to keep in mind that you will check out the available educational opportunities according to your son's age and decide based on that.

I agree with the others that you will need to provide a wide variety of social activities for your son. He will be so much happier that way. I do know that hsing just works better for some families than others, and if you keep an open mind and know that NO educational decisions you make have to be for your child's entire upbringing, that will help. Hsing works WONDERFULLY for us; we do SO much that no school would ever be able to do, plus my kids' life skills and social skills are far above the other kids we know their ages. But this is not true for every hs'er, so I think you are doing the right thing by researching and doing serious thinking so you aren't trying to make a last-minute decision.

Answer 6

Homeschooling provides the best education absolutely possible for any child, but they need to be okay with the idea and the best way for that is to homeschool from the start. If you place him in social situations and homeschool that is the BEST way to go. Many homeschooled children are WAY above their peers. Make sure your son has friends in both or all three schools- public, home, and private.You sound like a very caring mother and I applaud you for being so caring about your child's education and social life.

Answer 7

I am 14 and have been homeschooled for about a year and a half. I was homeschooled last year in 7th grade but, I got very lonely. So, my mom sent me back to school. It was absolutely miserable time in my life. You wouldn't believe how mean kids are. They see a little bit of weakness in the "new kid" and attack that weakness in order to bring the kid down...it's horrible. The transition is much harder as kids get older because the other kids have formed their cliques and are less likely to except outsiders. Going to public school really made me appreciate homeschooling and personally, I believe that homeschooling is the best answer to raise Godly children. As for the academic side of things, your son will learn twice as much homeschooled as he ever would in public school. In public school so much time is spent in getting from class to class and then getting settled in that class that the actual amount of time spent learning seems insignificant, if that makes sense. I hope that I have helped you make this decision. But, if I may be so bold to suggest this, spending time talking to God about what He wants you to do will make the whole thing a lot easier.

Answer 8

I feel if you plan on sending your child back to school at middle school or high school you would need to do a few things. The first one being to homeschool in a traditional school style. You can obtain voluntary curriculum guidelines from the school board to make sure your child is atleast on grade level. School subjects need to be taught with structure, unlike unschooling methods where it is more student led. Concentrate on subjects that are weak for your students so they are atleast grade level. Provided some timed projects and/or tests. While in homeschool they can dwell on a subject, you can't do that in public/private school. Provide distractions, such as a tv running, to make them concentrate. Assign them projects. For example, give them an essay to write on their "down" time and give them a week or two to research it. Remind them every few days. The goal would be for them to take the initiative to do it on their own, without Mom and Dad holding their hand. Watch and see how they do.

Socially, you cannot shelter your child. My son is 11 and plans to go back to school once he is in high school. If there are neighborhood children, make sure your child has an opportunity to play/visit with them, unsupervised. This will, no doubt, give them a dose of reality. If the child is younger, make sure they are involved in homeschool groups, church activities, local rec. sports leagues, anything that gets them involved with other adults and children a like. At the middle school and high school level, do not tip toe around the sex and drug culture. You may want to get a jump start by always being honest about the subject. Give the body parts their actual names. Do not make the subject taboo. However, DO tell them what your values are and what YOU expect.

Being actively involved in the community will give your homeschool child ample friends and should adjust socially fairly quickly. The closer to a traditional school style curriculum you can get the better.

Answer 9

Well I went the opposite. I went to a public high school my freshman year in classes with 30+ kids and it was horrible. I never learned a single thing. Then my mom put me into a homeschool/distance learning program and it was tough. There was a lot of reading, a lot of writing... and I found that it REALLY helped me prepare for college. I'm a freshman at Loyola Marymount University out in Los Angeles and it's a Jesuit liberal arts college. Without going to a homeschool program, I doubt I would be doing as well as I am right now. It really taught me to plot my time accordingly, handle large amounts of reading/writing and be prepared for the world of college.

Answer 10

For the best transition keeps the kids involved in things that aren't just for homeschoolers. So still do things like homeschoo co-ops and all but then also do Scouts or soccer or church youth group etc...so they already have friends that will be at the same school when you do chose to enter them. As long as they have some good friends...they won't feel lost or outcast.