My 7 year old kid has to to a performance at school next week and has to tell jokes with one of his friends. Do you know any jokes suitable for 7 y/o to tell ?
Remember its a 7y/o so they have to be clean, and pretty easy to get the humour!
2007-01-11 23:33:32 · 21 answers · asked by Billy 2 in Entertainment & Music ➔ Jokes & Riddles
*Scientists are trying to figure out how long a person can live without
brain. Please tell them your age!
*Mistakes are not crime......if you correct them they are the key of
success. FOR EXAMPLE....God created you
......He then created me.
*In aptitude test...River Nile is in which state?
Sardar: liquid state.
INTERVIEW : Imagine, in a closed room, how can you escape if it caught
fire?
man: Simple, stop imagining.
MAN starts shouting in a store...... where is my free gift with this
oil?
Shopkeeper : there is nothing free with this.
man: it is written CHOLESTROL FREE.
man: in my dreams rats play football every night.
Dr: take this tablet you will be ok.
man: Can I take tommorrow, tonight is final game.
Museum Administrator: That's a 500-year-old statue u've broken.
Banta: Thanks God! I thought it was a new one.
Tourist: Whose skeleton is that?
Sam: george's skeleton.
Tourist: Whose that smaller skeleton next to it?
Sam: That was george's skeleton when he was child
Napoleon: There is no such word as 'Impossible' in my dictionary.
Sam: u should have seen the dictionaries and bought ...!
Q: Why did Sam take his pregnant wife Monica to Pizza Hut?
A: Because they advertised: 'Free Delivery'
if you want more you could tell me! i've loads!!
2007-01-11 23:45:15 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
What do you call a blind deer? no idea
What do you call a blind stag with no legs? Still no idea
Doctor, Doctor I have a strawberry on my head! Don't worry I will give you some cream to put on it.
My friend drowned while eating a bowl of muesili. He was pulled under by a strong currant.
Why are there no tablets in the jungle? Cos the Parrots ate 'em all (Paracetemol).
I walked in to the butchers the other day and said "I will give you fifty pound for that meat on the top shelf". The butcher replied I'm sorry I can't the steaks are too high.
A man with a cross eyed St.Bernard took his dog to the vet. The vet picked him saying "I'll have a look".
After 2 minutes he said "I'm sorry I will have to put it down"
"Why?" I said, "for being crossed eyed"
"No too heavy"
I have so many and so little time.
2007-01-12 03:54:02 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
why is 6 afraid of 7
because 7 ate 9.
whats black and hairy and sits at the back of the classroom,
teachers pet
whats yellow and white and travels at 125 mph,
a train drivers egg sandwhich.
what sits at the bottom of the sea and shivers
a nervous wreck
whats green and hairy and goes up and down
a gooseberry in a lift...
2007-01-12 03:33:26 · answer #3 · answered by chris w. 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
What do you get if you cross a sheep with a kangaroo. Ans. a wooly jumper. What is yellow and steals soap from the bath. Ans. A robber duck. What is a Vampires favourite fruit. ANs. Necktarines.
2007-01-12 00:14:24 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
A pregnant woman is in a car accident and falls into a deep coma.
Asleep for nearly six months, she wakes up and sees that she is no longer pregnant. Frantically, she asks the doctor about her baby.
The doctor replies, "Ma'am, you had twins! A boy and a girl. The babies are fine. Your brother came in and named them."
The woman thinks to herself, "Oh no, not my brother, he's an idiot!" Expecting the worst, she asks the doctor, "Well, what's the girl's name?"
"Denise," the doctor says.
The new mother thinks, "Wow, that's not a bad name! Guess I was wrong about my brother. I like Denise!" Then she asks the doctor, "What's the boy's name?"
The doctor replies, "Denephew."
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One day the Pope and the Queen of England were sitting in a balcony dicussing their power over their people. The Queen tells the Pope, "With one simple wave of my hand I can make my followers go crazy." "Prove it," says the Pope. The Queen then stood up, raises her hands in the air, and her beloved followers yelled, whistled, and clapped until she had lowered her hand. The Queen then sat back down and looked at the Pope to see what he had to say.
The Pope sat for a moment deeply contemplating on how he could top her stunt. He then said to the Queen, with great confidence, "With a movement of MY hand I can not only make this crowd go wild, but give them a story so great they will tell their children, their children's children, and so on." "I highly doubt that," remarked the Queen. So the Pope stood up, moved over towards the Queen and slapped her.
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This is a very short story of how white people got named crackers.
The pilgrims were coming to America and the Native Americans thought it was offensive to call them whites. After a long debate they decided that whenever they walk their boots crack so lets call them crackers.
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There are several men in the locker room of a private club after exercising. Suddenly, a cell phone that was on one of the benches, rings. A man picks it up and here is the conversation:
"Hello?" "Honey, it's me." "Sugar!" "Are you at the club?" "Yes," "Great! I'm at the mall and I saw a beautiful mink coat. It is absolutely gorgeous! Can I buy it?" "What's the price?" "Only $1,500." "Well, go ahead and get it if you like it that much." "And I also stopped by the Mercedes dealership and saw the 2001 models. There's one I really liked. I spoke with the salesman and he gave me a great price and since we need to exchange the BMW that we bought last year..." "What price did he quote you for?" "Only $60,000." "OK, but for that price I want all the options." "Oh, honey, that's wonderful! Before we hang up, there's one more thing." "What is it?" "I went to see the real estate agent this morning and saw the house we had looked at last year. It's on sale!. Remember? The one with a pool, English garden, acre of parking area, beachfront property..." "How much are they asking?" "Just $450,000. It's a magnificent price and I see that we have just enough money in the bank to buy it." "Well, then go ahead and buy it, but just bid $420,000. OK?" "OK, sweetie. Thanks! I'll see you later! I love you!!" "Bye. I love you, too."
The man hangs up the phone and holds it up asking, "Does anyone know who this phone belongs to?"
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A lady goes into an auto parts store and asks for a seven-ten cap.
All the clerks look at each other, and one says, "What's a
seven-ten cap?"
She says, "You know, it's right on the engine. Mine got lost
some how and I need a new one."
"What kind of a car is it on?" the clerk asked.
"My 1999 Chevrolet."
"OK lady, how big is it?"
She makes a circle with her hands about 3 1/2 inches in diameter.
The clerk asks, "What does it do?"
"I don't know, but its always been there."
By now, the manager has come over. He hands the lady a note pad
and asks her if she could draw a picture of it. The customer
carefully draws a circle about 3 1/2 inches in diameter. In the
center she writes "710."
The guys behind the counter, who are looking at the drawing
upside down, can barely control their laughter as the boss walks
to a shelf, grabs an OIL cap and puts in on the counter.
"That's it!" the lady says. "How much?"
"It's on the house," the manager replied. "Please come back
often. You have no idea how entertaining it was waiting on you.
if u want more email me at joseph_2098@yahoo.com
2007-01-12 00:27:47 · answer #5 · answered by Young Joe (Kno*Dat*) 1 · 2⤊ 1⤋
Why did the monkey fall out of the tree?
Because he was dead.
What do sheep do when they are dirty?
They take a baaaaaaath.
What is the best time to go to the dentist?
Tooth hurty
2007-01-14 05:39:22 · answer #6 · answered by voidtillnow 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
read in this catagory three nuns thats my joke or no dnt seen as hes seven how bout
y did the monkey fall out the tree
coz it was dead
i no its lame but im no good at jokes
2007-01-12 04:45:51 · answer #7 · answered by Break Me Down 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
What do you get if you cross an elephant and a kangaroo?
Big holes all over Australia!
2007-01-14 21:45:17 · answer #8 · answered by Kickinkitty 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
How do you catch a unique rabbit.... Unique up on it
How do you catch a tame rabbit... Tame way
corny but suitable
2007-01-12 00:55:53 · answer #9 · answered by Aggy 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Why does Burger King smell?
The King laid a Whopper!
2007-01-11 23:36:56 · answer #10 · answered by jengels2002 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋