Why do I find it so hard to share a bed? How can I cure this?

Question

I am a very light sleeper and whenever I share a bed with my boyfriend I end up being awake all night.

He tries to be considerate and keep still! But even so I still find it impossible to sleep.

This has been very problematic in all my relationships. I have always resorted to sleeping pills but I know this can't be a long-term solution. Any advice?

Answer 1

Do you usually get a good night's sleep on your own? You're probably used to sleeping on your own and a partner disrupts your night-time pattern. Looking into a memory foam matress is a good idea as your partner can wriggle around without disturbing you, and even if one of you is a lot bigger than the other, you won't fall into the middle together. But you might want to try a few less expensive options first. What do you do before bed usually and what do you do when your partner is there? Try to keep a routine, make sure you go to bed at around the same time each night. When your partner stays over, try to make sure you've had some exercise in the day/ got up early so you're tired when it gets to bed time. Have a wind down period for about half an hour before you go to bed, relax, don't watch TV, maybe have a warm bath and a hot drink, get your partner to give you a massage. Make sure your partner knows whether you'd prefer him to snuggle up to you or keep firmly on his side. If you go to bed and you just can't sleep, get up and do something non-stimulating then go back to bed when you feel tired. If you're not a morning person, you could also try pretending it's morning, you have to get up and it'll be cold, it's too early, etc and maybe this will induce you to sleep! Good luck, hopefully with time you will get used to your partner being there, if you find you have trouble sleeping usually you may want to consult a doctor.

Answer 2

I have had the same only because I was used to sleeping alone for so long. Sounds like your problem is just that you can woken up too easily. Unfortunately, I don't think this is something you can 'cure'. You might want to talk to a hypnotherapist or psychologist and see what could done to help get you into a more restful 'zone' at night. You might also just have personal space issues that need to be negotiated.
I would try having your partner sleep on the floor next to your bed or on a cot and then, as you get used to this, you can have that person try the bed with you one time one week, then two times the next week, etc....

Answer 3

Your best bet is to make sure you are so tired by the time you go to bed that you fall asleep.....have lots of sex ....

And this is somthing that you have to get used to.....You will eventually be very comfortable....Or get a huge bed...

I also find it hard and have a permanent hard on all night......Thats what happens when you love someone.....

Answer 4

You can get one of those Temper-Pedic mattresses that they advertise on television. It's the one with the memory foam. You've probably seen the commercial of a guy jumping on one end of the mattress while there is glass of wine across the mattress staying upright and not falling.

Now, if your partner snores, thats another problem :P

Answer 5

Oh yeah, I examine something equivalent to this in an city legends e book- approximately how somebody surpassed a narrative like this around to no longer make it look so undesirable that their grades weren't so warm.

Answer 6

get one of the foam beds a little more $$ but well worth it he can have a fit on it and you wont even know he is shaking like a fish out of water

and we find we fall asleep faster on it too

Answer 7

i think that if u try to fall asleep, u won't fall asleep, but if u just lay, or not rlly concentrate on anything, u will b fine...i'm sure u will get used to it soon. don't take sleeping pills, cuz then u can't fall asleep w/out them soon....

Answer 8

I does take some time to adjust to sleeping with someone. Eventually you get to it.

Answer 9

Get a bigger bed !