shes my only child.....im a single parent.....i started letting her have a bf when she turned 15....now its as if there's nothing else impoortnat 2 her....not family, not friends, not school...nothing.....i was her age once and i no how it is 2 b 16 and think ur n love.....but man, its 2 much...i try 2 talk 2 her about it and of course she dont talk crazy 2 me cause she no's better, but its like everything i say goes n 1 ear and out the other.......any good advice out there?
2007-01-11 20:39:14 · 13 answers · asked by lilbit 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
Just try to hang on to that memory of what it was like to be her age and if her grades start slipping, restrict her dating until she brings them back up. My parents always had one day a weekend that was a family day and that was that. As long as she is doing good in school then she should be fine. I hate to ask this but have you had a birth control/safe sex talk with her? Sorry, no parent wants to be asked that or think of that but it would be a good thing to do if you haven't. Just make sure she is being safe.
2007-01-11 20:46:10 · answer #1 · answered by flappymcp 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Time to be the Mom not the best friend. Most 16 year old girls are boy crazy so she is normal. But there must be rules in your home. Talk to her and tell her the rules and what you expect from her and the most important thing is to tell her why you are setting these rules. School had to be her focus right now and the boyfriend has to come second. So no phone calls until the homework is done, and then I would limit the duration. My daughter would sit and listen to her boyfriend breathe for an hour if I would let her. No computer chatting until homework is done, either. Absolutely no dating on school nights. Have you met this boy if not that needs to be a priority for you and even better get to meet his parents so that they know your rules for your house and you can know what his rules are. It is a lot harder to fool us parents when we work together. Your little girl is growing up and it is up to you to guide her on a path to being a successful and caring woman.
2007-01-11 22:42:15 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
There's nothing wrong with having a boyfriend at that age. At this age girls are boy crazy. It's up to you to enforce the moderation. I think that it would be a really good idea to establish rules about finishing homework and studying before seeing or talking on the phone with a boyfriend. No dates during the school week. Set a decent curfew. If she is late for curfew then there should be a loss of priveleges (maybe phone time should be limted with all friends (which would include the boyfriend)) Encourage family time. Developing strong ties and bonds with your family at this age is key because when senior year rolls around...it will be worth it to have those lines of communication open at that important stage in life. I know it's difficult to set aside time for leisure, but maybe just once a month have some mother/daughter time. Go for ice cream, or go grocery shopping together, go to a movie, go to the park. it doesn't have to be expensive. but only the two of you; no friends allowed for either of you!
2007-01-11 21:44:22 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
you're being a conflicting hyporcrite declaring this as an man or woman myself. you at the instantaneous are not monitoring. you're spying. monitoring is the position you seem on the historic past and difficultchronic to work out the position she has been and get to attraction to close her friends (if myspace, be on her buddy's list so that you'll position faces/names mutually etc). you're spying and under no circumstances respecting her privateness. basically because she be "unaware" does not propose you're respecting her privateness. nonetheless breaking the privateness, truly getting onto her own mail. I comprehend the the reason why with all the weirdo's yet you want to have a company communicate which includes her about the weirdo's obtainable. The more desirable open you're, the more desirable she will be. Invading her privateness and under no circumstances telling her about it will make her even more desirable resillant and reballiant in the route of you at the same time as she unearths out. She has a correct to position in writing and communicate and also you do not have the right to study each and every thing she does. She will be passing something own to some different person or visa versa that's non of your employer. you want to envision which includes her and video demonstrate over the shoulder. Have computing device interior the front room as a relatives computing device. Til she is eighteen and have the funds for her own computing device, that should be the rule of thumb. My mom did it with me growing to be up.
2016-10-17 01:00:44 · answer #4 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well, you're her mother remember that. You're still the boss. Those are the hardest years. All the changes we go through. As teenagers. She needs guidance in what's most important in life. An education is very important. I am sure she is being active with him which makes us so blind to everything around us. But, if my mom would have stuck to her guns and set up some serious boundaries I would have probably been angry but I would eventually understand everything she did was for the best. Maybe limiting their time together so she can concentrate on other things on life would be helpful. She needs for you to help her get her priorities in order. Don't let her push you around. TOUGH LOVE!
2007-01-11 20:53:32 · answer #5 · answered by Tracy W 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your stuck between a rock and a hard place.I know i was the same as that when i was a teenager dont give up just keep the line of comunication open try to be a friend to her dont pressure her she will only get frustrated and do something stupid.
2007-01-11 22:15:18 · answer #6 · answered by wildpalomino 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Limit the time she is allowed to spend with him until she gets her priorities straight.Keep talking to her,let her know you understand,but make her understand that education is everything. Tell her that if she cannot do better,than boyfriend has to go bye bye.Good luck.Try not to beat yourself up,it sounds like you are really trying,but you know how teenagers are.Hang in there,she'll appreciate it in the long run.
2007-01-11 20:53:50 · answer #7 · answered by fnocentelli 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
My kid's 16 herself...
and I know she tends to become focused on one thing, and it can be hard to get her mind off it. Try the best you can with it. Perhaps limit the time they can spend together if necessary. Do they go to the same classes together? Then, that's quite a lot of time already.
2007-01-11 20:48:35 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hi This must be very difficult for you. I suggest this: Invite her bf home and be friendly with him. Slowly get his confidence and then try talking to him and tell him that while u approve of this relationship, thye are both too young to ignore education. Tell them that you expect them to be more mature and that this is not healthy. Talk to them as a pair and not separately. in the meanwhile also talk to your daughter and be very sympathetic and also firm with her. Lots of luck
2007-01-11 20:47:32 · answer #9 · answered by shgo 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Well, you can't tell her not to see him. That's like shooting off the starting gun. (Henry Fonda in the original "Yours, Mine, and Ours.")
Are her grades slipping? If so, then no boyfriend time until her studying is done, and look it over to make sure she did it. No dates on school nights. If you have to go temporarily gestapo on her, then that might be what it takes. This is your daughter's future you're talking about.
2007-01-11 20:52:02 · answer #10 · answered by cruztacean1964 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋