can anyone help?

Question

Sometimes I look at my daughter and my fiance with anger, because I feel trapt. I feel like there is noway out, and I can never escape from either of them. They are forever apart of me. We made this baby together, and my daughter is the other half of me. I love them both, dearly. But I'm terrified that I will never be happy, and life's to short to live like this. I'm sick and tired of being so sad. I hate waking up everyday knowing that I'm not going to accomplish anything. I can barely make it out of bed. I feed my daughter, give her a bath, and stress all day long, hoping, and waiting for her to take a nap so I can sleep. Even when I'm awake I can barely keep my eyes open, but I manage to get through the day and make sure my daughter is safe and gets all the attention she needs. I'm not a bad mother, I'm just a sad mom. I have intrusive I can't control, and they make me feel miserable, because I don't desire them or want them in my head. I feel like I'm out of control. What do I do

I don't have the money right now to go to the councelor and I don't have any insurace. Is there anything out there that can help me? I want to be happy so I can better myself and my daughters future.

my daughter is 4 months

Answer 1

I would like to know how old your daughter is.

My suggestion is this:

Call your local health department. Although you do not have the money to see a couselor, they actually have student counselors. (the H.D. does where I live) If they don't have one, they can point you into the right direction. They will also be able to tell you where you can find a psychitrist who may be able to diagnose your symptoms.

I wonder how does the effect your ability to shop and tend to your own physical well being.

Can you work? Is that an option? If you are emotionally unable to hold down a job because of mental (or physically) issues, consider talking to your doctor about applying for disablity.

Is it possible to set up your room where your daughter can play, color, watch TV, etc. while you stretch out on your bed. I realize that a sound sleep would not be possible, but being able to close your eyes for ten minutes at a time while your daughter is coloring a picture in her book would do wonders.

How is your health? Are you a diabetic? Do you get exercise? Do you have a hobby?

Now, my question is, why would you want to escape from them? Do you feel as if there is something in your life that you have not yet achieved and they are holding you back? Or is it that you feel like this is as good as life is going to get and basically that sucks?

My answer to both of those questions is... 1) Your family does not hold you back. They are actually a support system. If you have a 'dream' or accomplishment you wish to achieve, write about it. List every aspect there is to achieving that dream. Then begin working on the list, taking steps to reach that dream. 2) Life is only as good as we will allow it to be. It is a struggle! Sure, some seem to have it all handed to them, but frankly, nothing was ever handed to me and I struggle with it just like you do. What you need to do is figure out what in your life is so bad and what would make you happy. You then need to focus on achieving that. It takes baby steps. But gradually, you will start to see a little light at the end of that deep, dark well that you feel trapped in.

another suggestion I have is to turn to God. Find a church. A good bible believing Christian church. There are people there that will care about you and as your attendance grows, you will meet people who will be encouraging to you and that can help you with many of the issues you deal with.

I realize that there is a lot here, but I could type much more. I have been through what you are going through. I have 5 children and have felt that same trapped feeling before. When I begin to feel like I am at the bottom of that dark well again, I try to focus on something like hobbies or reading. If you don't have a hobby, start one! If you would like to know what I do, email me. I can give you a list of things to do and maybe you will find enjoyment and a distraction out of something.

Try to get some sleep. Child proof that bedroom and set her up with all her safe toys and if you have to, lay a blanket and pillow out on the floor beside her and cat nap right there.

Best wishes and God bless!

Answer 2

This is common in mothers you get the baby blues sometimes it can happen years after giving birth its natural to feel like this alot of women do but whether or not its natural it does suck, maybe try some st johns wort to help lift your mood a little (its cheap you can get it from health food stores or super markets) and try treating your self or telling your fiancee maybe he can help cheer you up maybe having someone take the baby for the night and going to a movie or dinner or just relaxing at home and having a long rest.
Raising children is a pretty tiring thing and you are a good mother still going to great lengths to make sure your baby is safe and sound even when you can barley keep your eyes open.
I hope you find a way to help cool down maybe ask your mother or future mother in law if they wouldnt mind taking the baby for the day or someone else you think would help you out.

Answer 3

You poor Mum! I bet you are completely exhausted carrying this around with you every day. Your anger, your sadness, your supressed motivation is not as unusual as you think. I was exactly the same for 18 months after my second child was born before being diagnosed with clinical depression and put on medication. This was my life saver and allowed me to slowly find myself amongst the roles of mother and wife and examine the things I needed in my life to make me the person - not me the wife or me the mother- a little bit happier and more fulfilled. Go talk to your doctor, or pick up the phone and dial a help line who may be able to tell you about services in your area that could help you. You are not alone and help is out there for you. Good luck.

Answer 4

It looks like you are stressed out. If you can try to get away somewhere by yourself. Spoil yourself as well. Take a bubble bath, eat some chocolate. Just have some fun and again get a way. Talk to friends and or family. This is the best I can do for you.

Answer 5

A man goes to a shop, picks up a beautiful cup and says "my god this cup is so beautiful" and suddenly the cup starts talking to the man. The cup starts saying "O man, I am beautiful right now, but what was the state of my being before the pot-maker made me a beautiful pot?

Before I was sheer mud and the pot-maker pulled me out of the mud from the mother earth and I felt why that pot-maker is so cruel, he has separated me from mother earth. I felt a tremendous pain. And the pot-maker said, "Just wait." Then he put me and churned me, when I was churned I felt so giddy, so painful, so stressful, I asked the pot-maker "Why are you so cruel?" the pot-maker said, "Just wait." Then he put me into a oven and heated me up, I felt completely burnt. There was tremendous pain and I asked the pot-maker "Why are you so cruel?" and the pot-maker said, "Just wait."

Then he poured hot paint on me and I felt the fume and the pain, I again asked the pot-maker "Why are you so cruel?" and the pot-maker said, "Just wait." Then again he put me into an oven and heated it to make me more strong, I felt life is so painful hence pleaded the pot-maker and the pot-maker said, "Just wait." And after that the pot-maker took me to the mirror and said, "Now look at yourself". And surprisingly I found myself so beautiful.

When god gives us lot of trouble, it appears god is very cruel but we need patience and we have to wait. When bad things happen to good people, they become better and not bitter.

So all difficulties are part of a cosmic design to make us really beautiful. We need patience, we need understanding, we need the commitment to go through in a very calm and wise way. So all difficulties are not to tumble us but to humble us.

With this understanding, let us not be against difficulty. Understand difficulty is a part of a purifying process. A purifying process at present which we cannot understand and hence we need faith and we need trust.

Let us understand how to handle stress with this background. You can be affected by stress from two angles. There is an internal stress and there is an external stress. Nobody can avoid stress; one has to only manage stress. Managing stress can be internal and also external.

The internal stress is; your thoughts can create stress, your values can create stress, and your beliefs can create stress, meaning thereby your stress is coming from your mind more from the outer world. Many people suffer not from heart attack - they suffer from thought-attack.

For example, when somebody says you are an idiot, we get so hurt, we get so victimised. My boss has called me an idiot and I am feeling tremendous pain. Now where does this stress come from? If my boss has called me an idiot, I have to ask myself "am I an idiot"?

If I am an idiot nothing to be upset about; and if I am not an idiot, then also nothing to be upset about! It is the perception of the boss. But why do we suffer from that stress? I suffer not because my boss has called me an idiot but because of the thought-attack.

I may say the boss has called me an idiot; therefore I am suffering? It is true that the words are unpleasant. But what hurts is the interpretation of the unpleasant word. The thought in me interprets. That is pain and therefore it becomes pain. Much of our stress is our mind interpreting it as pain. So we suffer from thought-attack more than heart attack.

Answer 6

get up in the morning get your daughter ready for the weather out side and and go for a walk then work you way up to a run exercise may work. you will get something out of it and your daughter will love the ride then again you can try to get in a support group in your area

Answer 7

you're depressed. seek out help. you can go on medicare if needed. counselling and possibly medication can make this time of your life so much better. you don't want your daughter to be jipped out of having a great mother, do you? get help for yourself. you deserve it and so does your daughter!

Answer 8

sometimes we go through that but if it is non ending is when there is an issue. get checked for obsessive compulsive personality disorder with depression. if you have to check yourself into a psychiatric hospital for a while it is worth it. get on medicaid or something. i hope this helps.

Answer 9

You can still go to the hospital, and then talk to the hospitals social worker, they can help you with options and possible help from your local and state goverment agencies.

Answer 10

hi have you tried Rescue Remedy ? it comforts and reassures. Its made from the oils of flowers and it works really well
for me, and you can get it anywhere