pregnancy - 40, 37 too old?

Question

Hi well just found out my gf is pregnant, I am goint to be 40 this year, she 37. She has 3 kids by another marriage (all live with her) all in teens, I hava one teen (lives with my ex) by previous marriage. Anyway am happy about it just bit worried about age thing. I keep thinking when kid is same age as our existing kids i will be old! I.e at 15 for kid i will be 56! Worried about what it will be like for kid to have old parents, if i will be able to support at kid at that age properly etc. Guess just want to give that kid a good life, its probably a dumb worry but anyway what do you think about having kids later on in life in general???????

Answer 1

Good luck. I myself am a young mom, but I think age is just a number. My only advice is to make sure to get genetic testing because the risk of having a child with down syndrome is much higher. So keep that in mind.

Answer 2

Your wife will be considered "a mother of advanced age" by the doctor so she'll be treated differently now than she was in the past. She'll be watched closer and be offered more tests. She is more at risk for high blood pressure. The baby is more at risk for down syndrome and some other abnormalities. Plenty of "older" women have easy preg. and healthy babies.

As far as once the baby comes, you'll be tired - very tired. My husband was 41 when our first child was born and 42 when the second one came. I don't think he's felt rested since then - the kids are now 2 and 3 years old. While once in a while he'll get the "are you the grandpa?" question, we're finding more and more older parents.

A good friend of mine is 51 and her daughter is 16. I don't think her daughter feels weird about having an older mom. My friend doesn't have any trouble keeping up with her daughter.

I like being an older parent - I'll be 38 soon. I think it has made me more laid back. I also love my kids dearly but I was set enough in my life before they came that I decide that my kids weren't going to rule my life. Yes, things change but I still make sure I get out every once in a while alone, with friends, or with my husband, we still have friends over, eat meals other than mac -n- cheese, and listen to my radio station.

Kids think that however they are raised is the norm. I don't think kids really comprehend what having an older parent means. I remember being a kid and comparing ages of parents but it was more about bragging rights than anything else. You'll do different things with this child than you do with the others but that doesn't make it bad. Maybe you'll take this kid to more baseball games rather than playing catch in the backyard. It doesn't really matter as long as you love the child.

Answer 3

If you keep yourself healthy then there is no reason why you can't be a fantastic mum and dad to a teenager when you are well into your fifties. Life expectancy is rising all the time and we are probably all going to be working until we are 70 in a few years time.
Age is an attitude. You might find it more tiring having a child when you are a bit older, but 37 really isn't very old to be a mum these days and neither is 40 very old to be a dad.
Congrats!

Answer 4

Dear pregnant and 40. Most concerns about having children after 30 has to do with the health of the baby. But as any parent will tell you every couple takes measured risks to have children of their own. This is the first child for the two of you together, although I am sure that you feel very strongly about the 4 children you currently share. As for money, you will always have enough, it is shown that a child that grows up with parents who are older, are basically spoiled rotten. as the other children are usually grown and moved out half way through the youngest ones life. As with any pregnancy you have to weigh the pro's and cons, together with your spouse, and decide what is best for both of you. Good luck! and I am sure that you will make the right choice, and be all the happier for it!

Answer 5

I had twins at 40 (boy and girl) and although I didn't plan to be this old, I am thrilled to be older and wiser as I go through this. I'm a much better mom than I would have been 15 years ago. And you and your girlfriend have the advantage of having done this before, so you know what to stress about and what not to. I plan on being a very young-at-heart grandmother and one of those people that whisper "I can't believe she's 80!" It's not a "dumb worry"! But for me, this has worked really well!

Answer 6

My best friend is the last of 4 children... and there is a large gap between her and the third child (12 years!) so she was a surprise. Her parents were in their late 30's when she was born... I think both were 39... and she is fine. She is the coolest person ever. She wasn't that close with her siblings when she was growing up... and felt like an only child... but now that she's older she is close with them. She and her Dad are especially close. She is now 28 and he is just turning 68... so it works! He's been around for her to grow up and will hopefully be around a lot longer. Just make sure you take care of yourself. Her father smoked and has had 2 heart attacks... which has caused her a great deal of stress these past few years.

Congratulations!!

Answer 7

Hi, and congratulations.

When my mum and dad got together he already had 3 kids by his first wife.

He was 40 and mum 35 and with the youngest of the children being 16 when 'surprise!' they find they are expecting me!

Ive never had a problem, and its cool having older siblings to visit and talk to, my big sister is now my best friend and we see each other everyday, it was good knowing I had other adults who i could talk all those teenage problems through with who were young enough to understand but old enough to give good advice.

I wouldnt change my perants age for the world, and if your worried about being too tired to have a kick about with your 15 year old when your 56, get one of there brothers/sisters to run around like a nutter!

You've already been through the roughest parts with your other kids so will know what to expect and will have a lot more experience than most perants.

Dad said when I was born it united the family.

And I will never EVER get tired of being spoilt by me older siblings!

Answer 8

She's at a higher risk for complications in this pregnancy because she's reached what doctors like to call maternal pregnancy which means she's past the normal age limit to have a vaginal birth. So she may end up needing a C-section and may need to be on bed rest should the doctor feel that the baby is at risk. I watch Birth Day on Discovery Health Channel so that's how I know this. Also she could end up having gestational diabetes which will go away after she gives birth.

Answer 9

Don't see a probelm. You are going to have the child anyway so what is the point of stressing about something that might or might not be an issue in goodness knows how many years. Anyway my daughter and her husband have just had their third at 36 and 39 and are considering makin a fourth. They both look a good 6/7 years younger than they are anyway.

Answer 10

No way....or at least I hope not. I have seven kids and have just turned 38, I am also expecting triplets in April, and my pregnancy is going better than ever before.
My husband is 45 so he too will be an older father to the triplets and to my now younger kids 5,3&17months but with age comes many different advantages, we have learnt a lot in the past 18 yrs and our kids reep the benefits.
Look after yourself and keep yourself fit and healthy and your child will be very lucky to have a father like you in their life. Remember your girlfriends kids although teenagers will satisfy the childs need for younger company.
Good luck and best wishes to you and your girlfriend.