I have been dating this guy for about a month now, and we haven't kissed yet. Then I went out with him the other day and when we got to my house he said that he would walk me to my door, then we made it about half way to the door and he thanked me and said maybe I'll see you around. I don't understand what is going on. Maybe I am doing something wrong, but I don't know what.
2007-01-11 18:53:00 · 8 answers · asked by Ms. Vandersanden 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
We have gone out like seven times and I just feel like I am getting mixed signals from him. Asking to hold my hand then a minute later letting go. Giving me side hugs. Talking about how other girls on a commercial are hot. Then saying maybe I'll see you around and not making plans again or saying he'd call.
2007-01-11 19:06:56 · update #1
I like this guy. He is actually going out with you because he likes and respects you as a person as compared to a guy who goes out with hoping to have a sexual realtionship on the first date or the first week.
The fact he stopped halfway to the door suggests that he may have wanted to kiss you but was unsure if he should or of your feelings. He might be shy.
I would the next time I talked to him or went out with him, quietly ask him, "Do you want us to be more than friends?" and if he says "Yes" then smile and say then "The when are you going to kiss me?" Don't rush him.
Enjoy being treated as a person than a quick grope and feel object.
2007-01-11 19:09:42 · answer #1 · answered by JeJe 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Why don't you kiss him if this is a problem? Maybe he is shy or a cold person. This doesn't mean he cannot be kissed. Some guys prefer to be kissed before starting their own kisses. They need a kind of approval of behalf of the girl. Or maybe he is not really interested in you and he wants you to be just friends and meet and talk once in a while.
2007-01-12 03:01:44 · answer #2 · answered by aritmo-sa 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Who said you must kiss?
Its very difficult to answer because no one other you are in the postion you are in. However judging by what you told us first and then by what you added I am inclined to believe either of these possibilities.
It could be that he has been in a relationship already or has seen this happen to someone else he knows and wants to avoid it happening again to him. Let's say he or someone else he knows has given all there was into the relationship and very likely the female counterpart felt extremely comfortable, so comfortable in fact that she no longer made too much effort. This in a guys mind is translated as "I am no longer interested in you".
Since he wasn't getting the love and appreciation back he felt ripped off because he was investing everything and she wasn't even trying.
Having said this and given that he must have felt extremely hurt, or his friend for that matter, he would logically consider not doing this again. So what should he do? He would play hard to get and play on the emotions of the girl because he knows that he is genuinely interested in the girl and is ready to invest everything again but only if she is willing to do the same. This translates as sacrifice now for long term gain.
It could also be that he doesn't kiss, hasn't kissed and/or didn't find it approapriate to kiss especially at your front door. In this case you need to find out which one it is and be willing to take action. Are you willing to abstain from kissing until you are married with him, or until you are engaged? Are you willing to be understand and patient until he builds enough courage to make you his first kiss? Are you willing to give him the opportunity to kiss you somewhere where he is more comfortable (not somewhere isolated that you could get into trouble and things turn bad)
Its also possible since your description is very vague that he isn't over his former girlfriend and he would consider it cheating still to kiss you incase he gets back with her. This way he can say I only went out with her (you) but I didn't even kiss her (you).
It is also possible that you are reading way into his actions where as the guy has no way of knowing what is on your mind. Kissing may be on your mind but since you are so comfortable about kissing your confidence would scare him away and he finds it difficult to make the move.
Yet I take it you have known each other for longer than one month. The fact that you are dating for a month doesn't indicate you should be kissing. As I said some people don't kiss until they are married or sure to get married and are already engaged. Kissing isn't everything if the person you are with is only willing to kiss you but isn't willing to open their heart and share with your their life. You are missing out big time if all you do is kiss and are not connected, emotionally, mentally and spiritually with the person.
2007-01-12 02:56:58 · answer #3 · answered by Sweet n Sour 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He is as confused as you are and even shy n thinks his actions might agitate you or make you angry. in another words he is playing cautiously... i say all this things coz he came half the way to the door with an intension to kiss you but couldn’t take the lead. if he didn’t wanted to kiss you he would have said bye from his car or whatever ride you 2 were in.
go to a movie make use of the dark and have your 1st kiss and things would sail smoothly after that
2007-01-12 03:07:35 · answer #4 · answered by vishal 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I dated a guy very much like that. He is playing hard to get. Or maybe it might be his beliefes. Some people believe that you shouldn't kiss before the wedding day. Maybe he one of those people.
But, then again maybe its just him!
2007-01-12 02:58:54 · answer #5 · answered by mellylaine80 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He may be bashful. I was. I could see me in this position. You are right that if the relationship is stuck you need to do something to start it moving. You need to know why, if it is something beyond being bashful you need to know.
I would find some public place with some privacy and use an excuse to peck him om the cheek. Find keep finding reasons and let it get longer until it is clear you are kissing. :)
2007-01-12 03:03:41 · answer #6 · answered by Ron H 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Answer to this one depends on how old you two are. If you're in your early-mid teens, it's quite normal for a guy to get anxious about things totally normal. And if you're older, there might be two reasons- a) he is one of them "made in 1913" guys. who's all about virtues, roses and a handkerchief in his pocket, who don't kiss until they get to know you really well
b) He just isn't that into you.
2007-01-12 03:15:00 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
hey dear, guys are not always ready to be the 1st to kiss like you see in movies...it takes time for them to be sure that your will bot be offended or that you might not reject his approch. so once he is really sure, that he really likes you and that you really like him - he will make a move. but if your impatient - why dont you kiss him. there is no rule as he has to kiss you first!
2007-01-12 03:01:14 · answer #8 · answered by CHAMaya 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋