he does it out of nowhere sometimes, it makes me feel a little awkward, we havent been together that long,,,, just makes me bend over and pulls down my jeans, But is this supposed to be kinky? or what?
2007-01-11 18:48:36 · 10 answers · asked by cuteness 4 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
If you don't like it just say no. Sometimes this is how it starts with someone who begins to enjoy inflicting pain.
2007-01-11 18:53:24 · answer #1 · answered by doktordbel 5 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Since you actually let him do it, you're obviously at least willing to try things out, which is good. You also don't say that you DISlike the practice, just that you're unsure. You also don't say anything about it hurting, only that you feel awkward in the process. If that's the case, then there are likely some aspects that you are curious about or find appealing. Try to consider the spanking in its individual parts instead of the whole to see what parts you like and which you could do without.
It could be the lack of contact from being bent over. Suggest a more intimate position. Over the knee, as described previously, might work well, since it requires the person always be in physical contact with you. This might calm you some and take away the feeling of awkwardness.
Another possibility, off the top of my head, is that he does it out of the blue, so you aren't able to put yourself in the right mental state to enjoy it. If he made the spanking slow and ritualized, then you might be better able to work yourself into it. If that doesn't work, then perhaps adding some roleplay to the scene would make it work for you.
On the other hand, the awkwardness of the scene could excite you and be what's keeping you from simply telling him no. Some people are turned on by awkwardness, shame or humiliation. One young lady that I used to see would become EXTREMELY aroused when she was told to undress to display herself to me.
Once you've separated what you do like from what you don't, talk to him about it. Ask him to do the things that you like more, and to do the things that you dislike less or not at all.
Regardless, I think you would benefit from educating yourself about adult consensual spankings. Try an online search at first, but ignore any stories or videos. These were meant to titillate, and have little educational value. Separating fact from fiction online isn't easy. If like books, get ahold of a copy of The Compleat Spanker, by Lady Greene. It would be able to answer many of the questions that you might have.
2007-01-12 06:32:58 · answer #2 · answered by baka_otaku30 5 · 1⤊ 1⤋
If you definitely don't like it, tell him so. But if you think it's possible you might get to like it, get him to use a little subtlety and finesse, build up an erotic atmosphere rather than just swat away out of the blue. A lot of the fun in consensual spanking is the ritual.
So for example he might start by scolding you for some pretended naughtiness, telling you what a bad girl you are and how you deserve to be soundly spanked - then turn you over his knee and take his time about baring your bottom, with lots of rubbing and stroking, telling you how sweet and sexy you look. He should start spanking you quite gently, just hard enough to sting, then gradually build up so you can find out how hard you like it. And so on. Erotic spanking's all about mutual pleasure - so find out what you like about it and let him know. That way you can explore the fun of it together. Good luck!
2007-01-12 04:37:17 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋
Lol Lighten up a little hun and have fun! I'm sure lots of people like to do that. But seriously, if you feel really uncomfortable with him spanking you just let him know. You don't have to do anything that you don't want to. Kinky? I guess you can call it that. You're lucky you have just a spanker lol because it could've been worse. :)
Ok wait he makes you do the whole bend over thing and pants thing ... Ok ... somewhat weird yea ... ok yea it IS weird ... Still ... Coulda been worse lol. Talk to him, ask him why he does it, why like likes doing it, etc. If you don't like it then by all means just tell him.
2007-01-12 02:53:47 · answer #4 · answered by Bobby_Bomberman 1 · 1⤊ 1⤋
If your "boyfriend" makes you do things that are erotic to him, but which make you uncomfortable, tell him so. His response will indicate if he is really your friend. Intimacy is something you share, not something you "get" from someone. Sexual intimacy is what you share with your lifelong spouse who had better be your best friend because you will also be sharing with him the emotional and physical intimacies of your life - both the bad ones and the good ones. If a person really loves you they will not willingly put you into a compromising or uncomfortable situation any more than they would intentionally put themselves there. This involves all situations. If you share life, the sex will take care of itself.
If he behaves like a boy with a toy , consider that he is not the man for you and that has to do with his maturity and not necssarily his age. And that goes for you too.
2007-01-12 03:27:09 · answer #5 · answered by Bomba 7 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Sounds like a freak! An ex of mine used to love getting spanked while having sex, but not just out of the blue. Was kind of fun watching her cheeks turn pink.
2007-01-12 02:54:26 · answer #6 · answered by boredperv 6 · 2⤊ 1⤋
This guy has some insecurity issues with himself. He is trying to make himself feel better by you feel vulnerable. When he does that - he feels strong. This is really not normal behavior or healthy behavior. I would let him know you don't like it and tell him to stop. If he does not, I'd get out before it gets worse.
Or if you have a big brother have him kick his butt next time he does it...lol.
2007-01-12 03:03:29 · answer #7 · answered by crazy25creek 2 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Just tell him that you don't enjoy it when he does that. He's just doing it because TV and movies have started including the fetish for it's shock and humor value, but knuckleheads still have trouble separating reality from media presentations.
2007-01-12 02:54:14 · answer #8 · answered by Hank Hill 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Is this a joke?! If not please dump this loser and grab a little self respect. No there's nothing wrong with that if both people want to do it, but if you don't and he what? Makes you? Oh come on, that is just sick. I hope this is a joke. It isn't funny.
2007-01-12 02:53:58 · answer #9 · answered by mj_indigo 5 · 2⤊ 1⤋
lol hes taking it a bit far if he actually ulls down ur jeans before he does it, i mean my bf does it, my friends do it to me , everyone does it to eacother, its just pure fun sometimes;P
2007-01-12 02:55:18 · answer #10 · answered by cute_lil_surfer 2 · 1⤊ 1⤋