Tell me any jokes you know in fact i want all the jokes you can think of at the moment ?

Question

and also any brain teasers you know but they must be related to maths .Like mathematical brain teasers .
thanks in advance

Answer 1

1. I think of a positive number, add one, multiply my answer by itself, take away twice the number I first thought of, and my answer is 26. What number did I think of?

2. What is the smallest number which can be divided exactly by 5, 7, 9, and 21?

3. Alan and Betty's ages add up to 25. Betty and Charlie's ages add up to 29. Denise is 14. Her age is exactly halfway between Alan and Charlie's ages. How old is everyone?


Sports Scene


Ten teams in the league each played 12 games during the season.

The Hornets lost 10 games.
The X-men won and lost the same number of games.
The Jaguars won one third of their games, and the Asteroids won twice as many as the Jaguars.
The Mountaineers won 1 out of every 4 games.
The computer listing showed the Dragons as winning .583 of their games.
The Firebirds won .083 of their games, and the Tigers won .83 of theirs.
The Pirates won less than half of their games but more than the Jaguars.
The Saturns won 3 more games than the X-men.
Beginning with the first place team, list their rank order at the end of the season.


Puzzles & Teasers

Logic Brain Teasers

1. You are at a game show and there are three closed doors. There is a prize hidden behind one of the doors and the game show host knows where it is. You are asked to choose a door. The game show host then opens one of the other two doors showing that it is empty and asks you if you would like to change your selection. Should you stick to your original selection?

Puzzles & Teasers

Logic Brain Teasers

1. You are at a game show and there are three closed doors. There is a prize hidden behind one of the doors and the game show host knows where it is. You are asked to choose a door. The game show host then opens one of the other two doors showing that it is empty and asks you if you would like to change your selection. Should you stick to your original selection?

Puzzles & Teasers

Logic Brain Teasers

1. You are at a game show and there are three closed doors. There is a prize hidden behind one of the doors and the game show host knows where it is. You are asked to choose a door. The game show host then opens one of the other two doors showing that it is empty and asks you if you would like to change your selection. Should you stick to your original selection?

2. You are in a race and you overtake the person who is in second place. What is your position now?

3. Six drinking glasses stand in a row, with the first three full of juice and the next three empty. By moving only one glass can you arrange them so empty and full glasses alternate?

4. A man is asked what his daughters look like. He answers, "They are all blondes, but two, all brunettes, but two, and all redheads, but two." How many daughters did he have?

http://www.intelligencetest.com/puzzles/logic.htm

Answer 2

Three ecologists are exploring deep in the jungle searching for new plant life when they are captured by a tribe of cannibals. They are taken back to the village to be tried by the chief. The chief stares at the white men and is about to give the usual "let's boil them alive" orders, when he gets an idea.

"I shall let each of you go," he says, "if you can go out into the jungle and within one hour, come back with 10 identical pieces of fruit." The men are overjoyed when they hear this so off they run into the jungle to gather fruit.

Half an hour later, one of them comes back with 10 peaches and proudly brings them to the chief. The chief looks at the fruit and tells him that he will let him go if he can shove all 10 pieces of fruit up his butt without changing his facial expression.

He notices all the serious faces of the tribesmen so he starts to shove one up there, but with the peach halfway in he lets out an agonizing shriek of pain. The chief promptly gives the order to kill him.

Ten minutes later the second guy comes back and sees his friend lying dead in the dirt. The tribesmen grab him and tell him to open his hands for the chief. In his hands he holds 10 identical berries.

When the chief gives the same orders he is visibly relieved and quickly begins to shove the fruit up his rear end. 1...2...3...4...5...6...7...8...9..... ...then suddenly the guy busts out laughing! Not amused, the chief once again gives the order to kill the guy.

Now the two dead guys are up in heaven discussing what had just happened. "You only had one more berry to shove up your butt, and you were home free! Why did you start laughing?"

"I couldn't help it. I lost it when I saw Fred coming down the path with 10 pineapples!"

Answer 3

At 85 years, Morris marries a lovely 25 year old woman. Because her new husband is so old the woman decides that on their wedding night they should have separate bedrooms.

She is concerned that the old fellow could overexert himself. After the wedding festivities she prepares herself for bed and for the knock on the door she is expecting.

Sure enough the knock comes and there is her groom ready for action. They unite in conjugal union and all goes well whereupon he takes his leave of her and she prepares to go to sleep for the night.

After a few minutes there's a knock on the door and there old Morris is again ready for more action. Somewhat surprised she consents to further coupling which is again successful after which the octogenarian bids her a fond good night and leaves.

She is certainly ready for slumber at this point, and is close to sleep, for the second time when there is another knock at the door and there he is again fresh as a 25 year old and ready for more.

Once again they do the horizontal boogie. As they're laying in afterglow the young bride says to him, "I am really impressed that a man your age has enough juice to go at it three times. I've been with guys less than half your age who were only good for one time. You're a great lover Morris."

Morris looks confused, and turns to her and says," I was here already?"

Answer 4

A ship sinks in the middle of the pacific ocean.
On board are a Jew, an Arab, and an Indian
There is a shark attack, and the shark eats the Jew and the Arab. He circles around, but leaves the Indian alone.
The Indian looks to the sky and says 'thankyou so much for saving me'.
At this the shark turns back and says, 'Don't thank him, I had one of you last year and my a*rse is still burning!'

Answer 5

Two snails were walking through the forest. A tortoise came walking past them,said the one snail to the other,
" That tortoises is in a hell of a rush ain`t he"

Answer 6

a airline pilot and co-pilot were flying from atlanta to houston. the pilot was jewish and the co-pilot was chinese and it was the first time they flew together.

after an hour, the pilot tell his co-pilot "i don't like the chinese."
the chinese co-pilot asks "why?"
the pilot says "because you all bomb pearl harbor!"
the co-pilot says, "it was not the chinese that did that...it was the japanese'".
the jewish pilots says "chinese, japanese, vietnameze....you are all the same!"

after an hour passed and then the chinest co-pilot says "well, i don't like jews!"
the pilot say " why the hell not!"
and the co-pilot says, "because you sank the titanic".
the jewish pilot was surprised and says "hey, that wasn't the jews who did that. it was an iceberg!"
the chinese co-pilot says, "iceberg, speilberg, goldberg,..you are all the same!"

Answer 7

Two blondes are driving to Disneyland and they are almost there. The sign they come up to says, "Disneyland Left". So they turn around and go home.

Answer 8

Q. what do you get when you cross a mountain climber with a mosquito?

A. nothing - you can't cross a scalar with a vector.

Answer 9

why did the 10 cats jump out of the boat ? -They saw numbers on the pool !!! LOL