Please help me with my co-worker?

Question

I have a problem... My co-worker is the nicest lady you ever want to meet..she will not do anything to hurt anyone. If I need anything she is there to offer it...my problem is that she smokes and when she comes in from break she really smells and she is a "close talker" I really do not want to offend her so I been just dealing with it and I spray air freshener after she leaves.
Part of me wants to just let it go but I know other people feel the same way and I dont want anyone to hurt her feelings. I was thinking about buying her a bottle of light cologne and telling her the problem..I figure if I give her the cologne she will have a way to fix the problem instead of just feeling self concious about it for the rest of the day...what do you think...

1..should i buy the cologne and tell her...or
2. continue as i am and just use my air freshener

Please be serious... I really want an answer on this and how you would feel in each of these scenerios.

thanks

taf 3 if you wanted points all you had to do was click answer and say hi,, no need to be rude

Thank you all who responded positively. I really appreciate the answers and the help. I know that she does not even realize she smells like smoke... when i first quit i didnt realizei used to smell that bad. and i do wish someone would have said something. I will buy her some hand sanitizer..she uses it when she is sick and I will also get her some mints..thanks again for the helpfulk tips.. im having a hard time chooseing best answer

Answer 1

Just tell her, I am a smoker and we dont smell it when we come in from break like you do. She is not being insensitive she probably just doesnt realize she is bothering or anyone else for that matter. Keep some of that sanitizer from bath and body works on your desk and some good gum that is potent and minty fresh. When she comes by next say I am sorry I havent said anything before and I feel like a jerk saying this but I love talkin to ya but the smoke smell bothers me....here is a piece of gum and maybe she will use the sanitizer or lotion....Just be honest dont lie and if she is as nice as you say she wont blow it out of proportion! She most likely is not doing it to bug you! If someone pointed it out to me I would probably hit the bathroom first wash hands spray some binaca in my mouth and perhaps make sure I wear a jacket of somesort outside so I could take it off. Good luck...I hate confrontation as well so I know how scary it can be.

Answer 2

Coming from a smoker, the cologne route would certainly offend me. However, I can certainly understand your point of view. Some people carry the smoke smell much heavier than others.
You do need to talk to her; especially if others are complaining. Take her aside and suggest (gently) that she carry mints or gum with her. If she is as good a person as you say she is, she probably doesn't notice and would more than likely appreciate the delicate handling of the whole thing.

Answer 3

If she's as nice as you say she is, I think she would appreciate being told that she has an odor problem after she smokes. I know that I would...
Talk to her privately, offer her some breath mints and recommend a clothing "freshener" that can be found in almost any supermarket. They're used for linen closets, closets, drawers, and clothing etc.

I smoke, and then I give my clothing a quick spritz afterwards, and most people are surprised that I smoke at all.

Cologne just covers up the odor, but a "freshener" actually helps eliminate the smells.

Good luck !

Answer 4

Neither! A cologne's scent will just mix with the cigarette smell and make things worse and keeping quiet about it means that you don't really care about her health. Help her quit smoking. Talk to her about it and tell her how much you and everyone else will be hurt if anything happens to her because of smoking and how important is her health and well being to you. Be a good friend.
Besides, do you really think she doesn't notice that you use an air-freshener as soon as she leaves the room?

Answer 5

You are considerate to care about her feelings. I'm sure she wants to be considerate of you, as well. As an ex-closet smoker, I can tell you that cologne is not the answer. The best way to hide the smell is some sort of wet-naps, or baby wipes, or something to clean her hands. Then she needs some strong gum to chew. She will feel nice and fresh and nobody will be offended. Is she the only person there who smokes? Maybe a group of non smokers could suggest this to a group of smokers, then it is less personal.

Answer 6

You could explain you're sensitive to the smell of cigarettes (perhaps mildly allergic or asthmatic or something) and politely tell her the smell is quite strong immediately after she's finished smoking. That might be enough to make her back off from you a little, or realize the smoke is clinging to her enough to make you sensitive to it. It's a tricky situation because you don't want to hurt her feelings, but at the same time, you don't want to be exposed to the stink. Yes, it's a lie but it's better than just telling her you don't like her smell. You'd think smokers would realize they have horrible little clouds of ciggy smells following them, wouldn't you, and be more sensitive to others' feelings?

Answer 7

Suggest she wash her hands and use a mint so as not to spread the smoke smell. That will help more than a cologne. She would probably appreciate the advice if you do it as a friend and be nice ;and brief about it.

I'm a smoker so I am being very serious.

Answer 8

Buy the cologne (but better still, a freshener) but be very discreet and cautious in your approach to her. Communicate effectively, so as not to hurt her sensitivities, in the slightest bit. Your relationship as a friend, should NOT diminish, because of lack of adequate discretion and abundant precaution from your side, because YOU are the one who is trying to genuinely help her out, in removing one of her inadequacies about which she is, perhaps, not even aware. You should prove to be, genuine well-wishers of each other, as good friends. Sometimes, a little discrete constructive criticism, done in good faith, becomes an inevitable requirement, between good friends...The final decision, however, is yours and yours alone.

Answer 9

I had a similar problem with my co worker even tho she didn't smoke. She was my closest buddy, everyone was telling me about the problem and urged me to "talk" with her as none of them felt they were in the best position to. Finally, after some years, I did - she "improved" a great deal. All's well that ends well, eventually. It's not an easy subject to discuss with even a closest friend - be very gentle and tactful when you are doing so.

Answer 10

Be honest with her. Tell her you are having trouble with the smell of smoke and tell her you feel bad about it but you need to stand back a little due to the smoke on her clothing.