Did I do the right thing?

Question

I was dumped by text on the 29th Dec. We had been dating for a year and a half and friends for 15 years before that. She tried ringing me today but I did not answer my phone as I'm still feeling very hurt but instead I called one of her friends who is also a friend of mine and told her to pass the message on that I'm not ready to talk to her right now. Was that the right thing to do or should I have spoken with her?

Answer 1

If you are not comfortable with talking to her then don't. Wait until you are ready because if you dont you will do something that you regret.

Answer 2

I think there is no right or wrong in that situation. Your best bet, however, if you're feeling down about it, is to tell the friend to tell your ex that you're very sorry and it's an internal problem right now and it's nothing personal (whether that's true or not). This will at least put your ex at rest. There's no reason to have two people hurting over this. Take the time you need. Your wellbeing is more important than her talking to you. Believe me. You need to get your mind all together so you can be happy. Why? Because that's what life is about. You marry and date so you can find someone to be happy with. You get a job so you can spend your days in a career that brings you happiness and gives you enough money to get a good life. Happiness. Just work towards that.

Good luck.

Answer 3

The best way out is through.. I feel that it is somehow ironic that couples act like strangers after breaking up especially after loving each other for so long.. If this person was once the closest person to you ever, then how could you just ignore that person and forget about the great relationship you've once had? You should continue to have a good sincere friendship even after the break up..

If you are not ready to talk to her right now, the least you can do is to politely tell her that you need some time and space to sort things out..

Hope it helped!

Answer 4

that is logical. when someone is so deeply hurt it is so hard to speak to them or even look at them. if you are to get back with this person you may feel a great deal of emotions and to you things may not feel the same as they did before when everything was going good. but ya you did the right thing. its only normal for someone so hurt to do that. some people do different. others do what you jsut did. good luck!

oh and getting dumped by text is lame. they should of had guts to do it in person. it hurts more but its always best. maybe they just were scared of seeing face to face and going thru so many emotions well whatever the case text break up is not right!

Answer 5

she did a cowardly thing by dumping you via text. she should have just confronted you and discussed things over like mature adults. it's totally ok for you to not speak to her as you're probably too taken aback to think clearly. sort out your thoughts first. decide what u want to say to her, and what u dont. also what u want to hear and know from her.

dont discuss over the phone or text anymore. u can call her when you're ready but tell her to meet u up and talk things over.
if it's clear that she wants to end the relationship, let it end, and don't push her. move on.

dont wait for too long, though. one or two days is enough. all the best of luck!!

Answer 6

I dont think you did the right thing by involving her friend - it was kinda immature to bring a third party into this - even though you are feeling hurt. I guess the ideal thing to do would have been to text your ex and tell her that you needed time to think and that you werent ready.
Really - involving people in the way you've done normally brings more problems with it xx

Answer 7

i think it was the right thing that you did. very mature too, you could have easily ignored it altogether or answered it and started cursing. i hope she feels a tad guilty when her friend has told her. its a hell of along time youv'e been in each others life,we are all different,and some need more time than others. speak to her only when you feel ready,and not before,if you find it easier then write a letter explaining that your still hurting and dont want to end up saying things you shouldnt. good luck and remember, only talk when YOU feel ready..

Answer 8

yeah you did the right thing....its too soon to talk and chances are she's feeling over emotional after the break up too and you guys could have ended up saying things that you would regret. I say the BEST thing to do it have time and space from each other - that way you avoid all the nasty break up horrible insult flinging etc. this way there is actualy a chance of getting back together later or being friends cos there was no damaging horribleness in the process.

Answer 9

You're right. To dump you by text was pretty cowardly on her part. Why is she just now calling you? Talk to her if and when you're ready and on your terms. She didn't have the decency to break up with you to your face so in turn, you can talk to her whenever you feel like it. If that day never comes, so be it. Good luck and keep your head up :)

Answer 10

Dude your hurting and you don't want to talk to her yet if ever. It was the right thing to do to not answer and relay a message to the ex-girl friend through a mutual friend.
It's cold and harsh to get dumped by text. And you don't want to let the pain show either as anger or weakness when you do talk to her. When (if) the time is right talk to her but not yet.

Answer 11

Hi again Sky. I know this situation is really is on your mind.

You love/loved her, both as a friend for many years and more than that for 1.5 years.

It seems to me her actions have raised that internal defence mechanism we all have, when we've been wounded deeply. You are hurt as your friendship seems to have been cheaply betrayed, by her dumping you by text so callously on the 29th Dec. And you are hurt because your love for her has been cruelly thrown back at you because of her actions.

Its difficult to come to terms with, but it seems your actions of not wanting to instantly forgive her are realistic in the circumstances, as you don't really want to go through this kind of hurt again.