I am at this point right now.One of them has been a very long time friend of mine though we've never dated.I began dating the other one recently but the amount of unhappiness I've experienced is far much more compared to the first one.I still love her though the other day she told me she told me she needed a break to pray about it,she's done this before.I am considering calling it off altogether and settling for my long time friend though I don't want to hurt her.How do i go about it?Any Christian counselors out there?Oh and another thing we all minister together in the praise and worship team at Church.HELP.Thanks in advance and God Bless you all.
2007-01-11 17:25:40 · 20 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Sure you can love two people at once, but the Bible makes it quite clear that this is not allowed. So you have to pick one and stick with it.
Frankly, any girl that breaks up with you so she can 'pray about it' needs to be dumped permanently. That is a total BS excuse even if you are in the same 'worship team.'
2007-01-11 17:29:10 · answer #1 · answered by ZCT 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think you have your answer already. You've already said the woman you are dating brings you unhappiness, and now she's needs "time to pray". Pray about what? As for the long time friend, I would try going out together first and see if those feelings are mutual on both sides. I'd get rid of the other one, and don't worry about hurting her. If she needs time to pray, it sounds like she won't be too hurt about you not wanting to continue with the relationship. And in all honesty, I really don't think you're "in love" with this girl (the one your dating).. otherwise you wouldn't even give the other girl a second thought. My opinion! Hope it helps.
2007-01-12 01:33:13 · answer #2 · answered by hydrogirl 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
One school of thought on this matter is that people - particularly men - were not programmed to be monogamous. That there is some possibility that men had to be promiscuous to get the race up and running, that now it's not needed or socially acceptable, but that we are now stuck with it. So, by this school of thought, yes, it is possible to be in love with more than one woman at a time, and perhaps it is completely normal.
Of course, this theory is particularly attractive to men who simply like to fool around. I'm not sure that I buy it.
But, don't knock yourself out about it. Heck, I love all kinds of women, but I don't ACT on it. If we all acted on whatever we wanted to do anytime we wanted to do it, our society would be a mess, hence the 10 commandments, Code of Hammurabi, etc.
Understand that God gave you these feelings of attraction to accommodate his commandment to populate the earth. He also gave you the commandments to keep you within the bounds of righteousness and provide a common order and promote Christ-like love. You could procreate with any woman you found attractive, but that would be against the will of God. One is all you get, sorry, that's the deal.
Be kind to yourself and relax. You're only going to go 75-85 revolutions around the little yellow star in our planetary system, and then you go on to bigger and better things. Keep the perspective.
2007-01-12 01:39:17 · answer #3 · answered by SafetyDancer 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you love someone, set them free... you know the adage. Well, 'tis true. Wait person 1 out, if you still really want to be with her.
Don't ever hedge your bets in relationships. Commit nothing to person 2, if you still feel for person 1. It may seem like you are sacrificing if you do that, but in reality, you have a LOT more to lose by trying to be with each of them at once, without your whole heart to give. Besides, person 2 doesn't deserve to be led on if she's really not your first priority. Tell her that you will come back to her when you have really let go of person 1. She'll appreciate it.
2007-01-12 01:31:16 · answer #4 · answered by zilmag 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes it is possible to be in love with 2 people at the same time. Reason is this, humans have needs we are complex creatures. One person (love) might fulfill one need while the other fulfills other needs. But it is very immoral to lead 2 people on knowing you can only be with one unless both of them agree to be involved in a Triangle relationship which I highly doubt. But anyways to answer your question is it possible the answer is yes but most likely one of them will stand out more than the other that is one love will be more fulfilling then the other. For example lets say one of them you connect with emotionally and the other one is more fun and exciting you enjoy spending time with because you know you will never be bored. Now you have to decide which is more important to you.
2007-01-12 01:36:04 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You are trying to find a solution that leaves you free of any responsibility. It is clear to me that girl #2 is not the person for you, especially if she makes you unhappy.
But I think she makes you unhappy because she herself is an unhappy person. So how in the world do you expect to break up with an unhappy person in a way that they won't feel hurt?
The truth here is that you have no control over anybody's emotions. If she chooses to feel hurt when you break up with her, then it's her choice & there's nothing you can do about it.
You must be true to yourself. You won't get very far if you spend all of your time trying to leave only happy & fulfilled people in your wake.
It sounds to me that the only reason you are considering staying with this girl is because she will be hurt if you break up with her.
That is not a very honest thing to do, for yourself, or for her.
Yes you can love more than one person. We all have the capacity to love an infinite number of people.
But you only need to be with one.
2007-01-12 01:42:55 · answer #6 · answered by No More 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Love? No. Infactuation? Yes. Its impossible to be in love with 2 people. You can really like 2 people or even have strong feelings for 2 people, but love, naaaaaaaaa. Love is such a strong word. If it was love you wouldnt be in the predicament that your in. You never would have even allowed another woman to get in the way of your first true love.
2007-01-12 01:34:45 · answer #7 · answered by lovehurts 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If I were you, I'd back off from both awhile. I'd keep away from the one who made you unhappy. Why do you still love her? You must answer that question honestly, since you don't state why.
Do not "SETTLE" for anyone. There are many fish in the sea. Go and do online dating if pickings are slim in your area. There are online christian dating services if that is your preference. Good luck!
2007-01-12 01:30:22 · answer #8 · answered by Jenny m 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
do you truely love either one of them???
one of them makes you unhappy and you would have to settle for the other. both of these gals may be the salt of the earth.
read the 4 gospels again and find out what true love really is. if you are a minister you should also start reading at exodus 20:20
for other tips to happiness.
i am sorry to be so rough with you but as a fellowservant it is sometimes necessary to slap the hand of the child who is about to put it in the fire.
2007-01-12 01:39:50 · answer #9 · answered by sodajerk50 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋
the fact that u say u love two ppl shows that it isnt true love. if it was, u wouldnt doubt it at all. u wud do anything to keep it forever. it wud be hard to break it off if u really want to, but i guess just do it straight forward. dont beat around the bush too much. do it like a bandage and quick and painless as possible.
2007-01-12 01:30:45 · answer #10 · answered by shortie0609 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋