I have a son who I am home with Monday through Friday and I work a full day on Saturdays. He either stays with my husband when he has the Saturday off or with my parents. I will soon be taking a class on Friday afternoons and am concerned about the added time away. It will be 4 hours on Friday and 9 on Saturday. I only work because I am trying to help out my employer on the weekends (and to get out of the house once a week with adults), we don't really need the extra money. It's difficult to be away from my son, especially because he is starting to go through seperation anxiety and sometimes cries when I leave. Do you think it would be best to quit my job and stay home? Do you think being away for a couple days a week causes him psychologcal stress?
2007-01-11 17:22:12 · 10 answers · asked by Debbie 1 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Parenting
My son is 11 months old.
2007-01-11 17:46:06 · update #1
All children go through seperation anxiety when parents leave, until they learn to understand that when a parent leaves they come back.
If you don't have to work, then working more I'd say no. But where you use that one day to interact with adults, I think it's a good idea, because it will keep one foot in the working world, so if you ever had to work.
Four hours school isn't the big of deal.
What you must do though is make the time you are with him quality time. Don't just sit and watch TV. Go out and explore the world, read to him, do things that nurture him.
But all parents need some breaks from their children, the parents who think they never should, end up burned out and mean. I'm not saying go away all the time, but a break once or twice a week is okay and you are leaving him with family, whom he nees to learn he can trust as he can trust you.
You are not doing permenant harm!!!
Don't work more though unless you have to or others will end up raising your child.
In my religious faith we beleive the Mom should stay at home and not work if she doesn't have to, but that doesn't mean you never get out with adults or do things without your child.
You are spending five days a week with him, make it quality time and he'll be fine.
2007-01-11 17:31:09 · answer #1 · answered by Mountain Bear 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
No i don't think so. Every kid eventually goes through seperation anxiety, though at different levels. I'm sure he only cries a little, then gets distracted and is fine the rest of the day. The time away gives you a breather and also gives your family and husband time to bond with your son, since the babies tend to bond more when you are gone (they cling to you when your there, etc.) So i think it is totally fine you keep your job and the extra 4 hours should also be completely fine. just make sure to make a goodbye and hello ritual (like kisses, hugs when you leave and when you come back). They learn that you are going to be leaving and they will learn that you always come back. The same weekly schedule is excellent as well- they know to expect it and it eases seperation anxiety. so keep your job- you deserve the little break for being such a good mommy!
2007-01-12 01:30:31 · answer #2 · answered by lynn 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
At 11 months old I think that having a day and a half a week away from him is not only not going to hurt him, but be healthy for the both of you. It is good for him to have that time to bond with his father or grandparents. Don't quit the job. You'll be glad in the end that you kept your hand in for the continuity of work experience if and when you choose to resume working full-time.
2007-01-12 03:43:50 · answer #3 · answered by LindaLou 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Not at all. As you said in your post, you need this time away and it helps you stay sane and feel more fullfilled. This will not make you a bad mom but a better mom because you are taking care of yourself!
And your son gets to spend some quality time with either his dad or his grandparents. This will help him build a stronger bond with them and also expose him to experiences he wouldn't get if he spent all of his time with you. It sounds like a win-win solution for everyone. Enjoy your time away and enjoy your time with him.
ps-all kids go through a form of separation anxiety! It doesn't matter whether they are always with mom or go to daycare f/t. They can get upset beacuse you went into the other room or because you left them to go to work! It's all a part of growing and learning.
2007-01-12 01:35:18 · answer #4 · answered by devils'littleangel 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
13 hours away will not cause any problems. It's probably healthier for both of you. Being a parent does not have to mean being with a child 24/7. You are not joined at the hip.
2007-01-12 08:04:52 · answer #5 · answered by KathyS 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think you need to probably be away from him more because he needs to get over the seperation anxiety. I don't know how old your son is but I am assuming that he isn't in school yet. If you don't "wean" him from you before that you are going to have major issues when he starts school.
2007-01-12 01:27:38 · answer #6 · answered by mdoud01 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Well...I am all for family...if it were me I'd spend some adult time away from him, but not for so long. Would it be possible for you to work at your job a few days a week for fewer hours each time?
2007-01-12 01:39:27 · answer #7 · answered by Cris O 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋
No, I think you need to stay sane and have your adult time. Your son will get used to it.
2007-01-12 10:54:43 · answer #8 · answered by jimbell 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You will never get the time back with your son. If you dont need the money the question you have to ask yourself is this...Is helping my boss or spending time with my sone more important to me...I have 4 kids and spend as much time as I can with them, if I dont have to work...I dont, and my kids love it.
2007-01-12 01:31:39 · answer #9 · answered by furyguy 2 · 0⤊ 2⤋
Your son will be fine. The girl above me nailed it. If I were to explain myself, I'd just be repeating her.
2007-01-12 01:31:22 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋