My friend is msging my boyfriend?

Question

My friend is msging my boyfriend?
OK so me and my boy hang out in the group and there is this chick in there that has only been my friends for 6months and my boy the same amount of time but I am better friend as we go out for coffee( u know) The other night she asked my boyfirned for his number (she has a boyfriend) and he gave it to her. She has been msging him, and Its not that I don't trust my boy or anything, I just think it is inapropriate so I told my boyfriend I didn't want him msging her, and he Acused me of being controlling.
Who is in the right. Is it normal and should I be happy with them msging each other. Me and my boyfriend live together and are very serious. There not rude msges there just chit chat. But I just don't think its normal.
I don't mind if there friends I just don't want them msging

Answer 1

I think you are right, it is not really appropriate. But unfortunately your boyfriend believes that respecting your opinion would be giving you too much control in the relationship. So there is little you can do about it except dump him.

Answer 2

People don't know what respect is any more do they? If she is friends with you she should show you respect and message you. And as for your boyfriend he isn't respecting you either. You could play their game back start messaging her boyfriend. See how they like that. And dump them both if it continues because from experience there is a reason they are talking some kind of interest there. Call it jealous or what but if your own friend and boyfriend don't consider your feelings then you don't need them. Not jealous just smart! When you live with someone that is more than just a boyfriend/girlfriend commitment. It is deeper than that. All of these folks saying trust him trust him. I am probably older than most of you and I have seen many situations like this and you are being played. When someone wants to live with you the rules come along with it. If they are such good friends why didn't she already have his number before you came along? Tell her to message her own bf. Demand respect and that is what you'll get.

Answer 3

I believe you have a point here. If someone is your friend, she should not be messaging your boyfriend--especially if you find flirting going on. You should calmly talk to this friend about how her talking to your boyfriend over the cell phone makes you feel uncomfortable. It may sound controlling for you to tell him to just stop, but maybe you could give him a reason and why you don't feel comfortable about it. Communication is the key here, and not letting it escalate to a argument because that will just make the situation works. Hope things work out!

Answer 4

Hard one as text and internet have been associated with cheating in relationships they are not looked upon favourably. Your man has a right to his friends just as you do , right now he thinks you are being controlling. Make friends with her, see her for coffee etc, dont ruin what you have by being sus as she will win out even if there is nothing going on. Your man will feel he is not trusted so that will cause problems. A bit of advice once given keep your friends close and your enemies closer

Answer 5

Wow!! Honestly..me I would not like it either, but under certain circumstances. First of all, what is this "friend" of yours reputation like? Is she a competitive person, or jealous or possibly a nice genuine person, if she doesn't have a good rep for keeping her hands to herself, Id keep my eyes open. Six months is NOT a long time to really get to know someone. Do you have her man's number? How would that make her feel? If she has one. And since she has your man's number now, which honestly..I don't know why she NEEDS IT, has she started acting more distant with you since she's been texting your boyfriend. And what about your man too, has he been acting distant too since this all started. Observe. If this friend was a long time friend of his, or yours, I wouldn't see a problem , because usually they feel like family to you (your close friends that is). But in all honesty, its up to him to ignore her calls , messages and so on. He needs to respect you and listen to how its making you feel, if in fact for some reason you feel threatend by her. No body should ever worry about someone coming between there relationship, that is no way to live.

Answer 6

There's nothing wrong with innocent text messaging.. especially since she has a boyfriend too, and its not like she's a single girl tryin to get with him.

Are you trying to say that you dont want him text messaging ANY girl at all? For just normal innocent chit chat?... Or is it *specifically* HER that you dont want him messaging.. and if so, why just her? If i were you, be comfortable knowing that you at least know her, and he's not texting some random girl that you dont even know... that should add at least SOME comfort to it..

But all in all, I dont think theres anything wrong with innocent chit chat messages... I mean, dont you talk to other guys?

Answer 7

You sound pretty jealous, but if you're hanging out in the group, it's assumed you'll all be friends. They're not hiding anything, and they're being honest with you - not the kind of behavior that would be exhibited if they were having an affair. This is what happens when you mix friends with boyfriend - they become friends. and wouldn't you rather he be friends with your friend, whom you know, than with a strange woman you don't? Back off, let him be friends with your friend, or he'll take his friendships elsewhere.

Answer 8

hmmm well i think it sounds like you can trust your guy. she just wants to beome better friends with him and is doing so through messaging. don't tell your guy who he can and can't be in contct with as that is a sure way to a fight and cold feelings. what you DO need to do, though, is keep a VERY close eye on this relationship between them. secretly read he msgs she sends,watch your man like a hawk, let this ***** know whos BOSS. oooorrrr, what you COULD do, is instead of telling your bf to stop the contact, tell the chick you don't appreciate it. OH that's a MUCH better idea. cuz then you're standing your ground, showing whos boss, and not controlling your boyfriend. oh touche.

Answer 9

Beat her ass!!! I mean you have to be out of your mind to haven't even allowed him to give out his number to her in the 1st place. Who cares if she has a boyfriend. Half of the people in bad situations comes from silliy choices like this!! That is where the word cheat came from. And please do yourself a favor and not listen to someone who tells you not to say something to him about this because it will cause a argument!! It's all about making him aware of what bothers you otherwise you will find yourself getting walked over because she will end up becoming a better and closer friend to him then you are. Now that would be truely sad

Answer 10

I don't mind if there friends,. I just don't want them messaging...


Thats called being controlling,. anyone whop says otherwise is so full of it...

think,. what if hes like,. oh,. you can be friends with that cute guy,. but i don't want you ever hanging out with him,.. it bothers me...

if theres nothign going on,. theres nothign going on.... if its friendly texts,.. who gives s rip?

now,. if there hey babies,. and ooo i awanna this that and the other,. then theres an issue,..

but if your not going to trust at all,... then let this guy out off sparing you from making his life miserable

if i'm in a relationship with a girl, i don't dictate the terms of her friendships to her. She's with me,.. and thats how it is,.. if she does end up cheating or something,. then thats life,. and I'll find someone else :)