I've been dating my girlfriend for about 8 months now. Everything seems to be going well with the occasional ups and downs. Sometimes, she'll do something that really annoys/pisses me off.
I'll propose that we get together to hang out. Sometimes, I feel like she wants to tell me she doesn't feel like it. That wouldn't be a problem except for the fact that she tells me "She'll let me know." Then she doesn't. Honestly, this is the only problem we have in the entire world. It seems like such a stupid issue, but it happened tonight and I really feel pissed off. I don't think she sees anything wrong with this. Its such a rare occasion that I'm not sure how to react to it.
I don't want to be mean, but she needs to know how much this bugs me.
How do I bring this up with her without coming off as a huge jerk? Shouldn't she call me about her plans if she says shes going to?
2007-01-11 16:34:19 · 16 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
My best advice is to let her know how you feel. She probably does not now that what she does is bothering you.By sitting down with her you can let her know what bothers you and you both can work it out together.It may not seem like a big deal now but this small problem can lead to other bigger problems that can end your relationship. Best of luck!!!
2007-01-11 16:42:31 · answer #1 · answered by Becca 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Are you waiting to the last minute to ask her to do something? If so that probably bothers her. Women liked to be asked out even though you've been dating awhile. Or either she really wants a little time alone? And is afraid to tell you. I think if someone tells me they will let me know then I expect that. That is only respect and I don't sit waiting on them. Talk to her and see what is up. Maybe she would like for you to plan things with her ahead of time. Good Luck.
2007-01-12 00:50:02 · answer #2 · answered by holliemay 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Maybe she's seeing another person... Just talk straight, don't try to be nice to spare her feelings. If this buggs you, you MUST tell her how you feel!! I you want to get straight to the point, you are going to be a jerk.
You don't have to be mean, just straight to the point. Ask her if she's got a problem to go out with you. If she loves you, she will tell you the truth and she will understand your point. If she gets mad at you for asking her, then there definately is something wrong.
If this still goes on after you talked........ Dump her, then she's not worth it.
Sorry if I sound mean, but you have to get to the bottom of this...
Goodluck..
2007-01-12 00:44:14 · answer #3 · answered by FranzeL 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
okay.you should sit down with her and talk like civilised people because communication is good in a relationship.you could start by saying say it in the most gentlyiest way i dont like it when........................ and you tell her the truth what really pisses you off and she should be able to accept and you both should try to find a certain comprise that will work for both of you.Thats the only way to improve the relationship by knowing what you are doing wrong and if you can change it to save your relationship.
2007-01-12 00:53:26 · answer #4 · answered by KATEL 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Technically, people should always do what they say they are going to. You should tell her that it makes you upset when she says she is going to do something and then doesn't do it. Also let her know that if she doesn't want to spend time with you at a certain time that you are completely OK with it, and would rather that she be honest about it up front than to keep you waiting for an answer.
2007-01-12 00:39:22 · answer #5 · answered by ? 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
I have a simular problm. You are not alone. I would just let her know that if she continues to do this, you will have to make other plans if she does not fully commit to the two of you hanging out. She should undersand. Explain that you want to hang out with her, but it upsets you when she ditches you. Its not that you are upset sh has other plans. You just want to know how to make yours. I feel there is nothing wrong with that. If she continues to do it, try not to get mad. Just keep yourself busy, and make other plans untill she says she is deffinetly gonna chill. If the rest of your relationship is good its not worth fighting over. you two will work through it. good luck
2007-01-12 00:42:19 · answer #6 · answered by tomuchthinking 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You need to communicate with her honestly (and she needs to communicate with you honestly). Try this? ...
Tell her that you "really want to spend time with her and when she says that 'she will let you know', you have been keeping your evening free for her by putting other plans on hold. But that means you miss out on doing other things."
Another way to look at it is. She wants someone with direction? Make plans that will work with or without her. Ask her if she wants to join you but tell her that you have to be there by X time. If you don't hear from her by Z time you will assume she doesn't want to join you and you will have to go without her. I.E. don't wait by the phone for her.
2007-01-12 00:43:42 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
Well to be honest with u man. If you have a problem she ain't gonna know untill you say someting.
Forget what your frineds are telling you and go ask the woman what her problem is. You might wanna be a little nicer than I'm suggesting but, you get the idea.
2007-01-12 00:39:49 · answer #8 · answered by kinev2010 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Yes, she should call you to tell you either way. Maybe let her know that you fully understand that she needs time to herself sometimes. And that it's ok for her to tell you up front instead of leaving you hanging. You would be right to be annoyed at the least. We are talking about a simple courtesy that she is not extending to you.
2007-01-12 00:39:05 · answer #9 · answered by sammiejane67 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋
If you can't EVER get her to talk straight with you and just be honest about what's bugging her then you should end things in my opinion. That type of person can put you through way too much stress, it's not even worth it.
2007-01-12 00:38:35 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋