I need a Christian men's perspective on this?

Question

One of my girl friends says that all men masturbate, but I can't imagine my sweet, conservative boyfriend doing stuff like that! He struggled with porn years ago and forced himself to quit, and that's all I know about it. We're both Christians and saving sex for marriage, and I'm just a little bit disturbed that he might masturbate? What on earth would he masturbate over? Please serious answers only. Thanks! (We're 19 and just modest, not some 12 year olds, by the way). I'm sorry if I seem judgmental or close-minded, but more than any of that right now I'm just confused.

Answer 1

I know its hard to believe, but it is a serious problem that controls a large percent of people. Porn can be devastating to relationships and self esteem (afa.org has some good articles). It is just another one of satan's tools disguised as harmless.
I was delivered from cocaine addiction so there is no question in my mind that it is possible that he might not rub one off (cause with God all things are possible)

I have to give you guys props for trying to do it right, and wait till marriage. My wife and I did the same to make sure that our relationship was built on love and not distorted by lust

Answer 2

BTW, you should probably ask this in another topic or speak with your high school or college's staff on that. They can probably help.

Here's how this works. A man's body keeps creating sperm. It creates it whether it gets used or not. If it doesn't get used, it comes out one way or another.

Option A: It's forced out.

Option B: It just comes out during sleep.

Now, it's possible that some guys really wait for Option B, but I have to ask, "If God didn't want men to 'spill their seed' as Onan did, why does He do it with Option B?'"

It's really perfectly normal and natural. What's thinking of when he does it? That's not really any of your business, is it?

I don't imagine people going to the bathroom, I don't imagine myself being conceived, etc... doesn't mean it doesn't happen and that doesn't make it wrong.

Answer 3

from the Christian teen website..I think they really give a good answer:
The Bible only provides for sexual satisfaction and fulfillment in the marriage relationship, PERIOD! Here lies one of the biggest problems with masturbation. You're setting yourself up to think about or imagine a sexual partner. This is nothing but fornication of the mind, adultery of the mind and immorality of the mind! All of which is Sin before God. Christians need to understand that God gave the sexual relationship in order for one spouse to please their partner. The focus is not on pleasing self, but rather on pleasing your spouse! from the scripture :
1 Cor. 7:3, Let the husband render to his wife the affection due her, and likewise also the wife to her husband. 4, The wife does not have authority over her own body, but the husband does. And likewise the husband does not have authority over his own body, but the wife does. 5, Do not deprive one another except with consent for a time, that you may give yourselves to fasting and prayer; and come together again so that Satan does not tempt you because of your lack of self-control.


thats all I can help. I think u can check out at this website: http://wolfeborobible.com/teen.html
very good site for Christian teen.

Answer 4

Masturbating for a guy is natural, normal, and needed to keep up a healthy sex life, and also for sperm production.
Besides if you knew he struggled with pron do you think he was just looking at it? NO! Anyways yes everyone does it, no matter what they say there isn't a guy out there thats either not doing it now, or hasn't done it once.

Answer 5

I'm a Man, and Christian, and I think I can answer ur question. So this is a serious answer so please listen.

The problem is not in your boyfriend honey. It's all in your own delusion. It's all about what's in your head.

You not in love with what your boyfriend really is... You just in love with an image. An Image of a holy boyfriend. You really loved the idea of your cute sweet innocent boyfriend that love bible and wont do such thing like masturbate. You put yourself in a danger,
honey.

You must be ready to facing the fact that, even if your boyfriend still do masturbate. What's the problem? Don't you think that Jesus already forgive him? So why can't you?

You feel disturbed not because of his integrity toward your marriage, but mostly because you disturbed to see that your image of him is destroyed. it's not the image that you Like right? You just so in love with an image of holy boyfriend and holy husband will make your marriage strong. WRONG! (Strong marriage not based on how holy your spouse is, but how much you both can fall but keep continue to get up no matter how strong the storm is. )

You not love him just the way he is. You not accept him for the way he is. You just want him to fulfill the image that you created for him, that he will be a holy boyfriend that wont do such thing. Poor him. He will be feel so lonely and feel guilty all the time to know his only closest person won't accept his weaknesses.

I will tell you the truth,.. the fact is.. for a guy who have struggle with porn, it's not that easy for him to quit. It takes total battle and fasting if he really want to release from that. So, im pretty sure he probably still do mastrubate. I tell you the truth, I do struggle with porn, and I do masturbate. And my fiancee know that. But do she feel hurt? YES! But, she show trust and believe me that I'm battle with it. She offer me that whenever I feel tempted to it, just call her and give her an SOS signal, so we can pray together until the temptation overcomed.
Even my male leader in church also once masturbate. But why we keep serving in church? Because we have a strong faith, and we choose to not live by condemntation and guilt. We face the responsibilty for our own mistake and get up.

I can see that you are a good woman, lady. You have a great wonderfull heart, You do care for your boyfriend. So if you really want to be commited to him, and want to help him; please do have a healthy image of him, and yourself before you offer a help. And don't be surprised if after you offer some help, he will tell you everything, and dont be surprise with the number of how many times a week he do masturbate. You can help him by not condemning him,.. but by giving believe in him, and do pray and show continual love, like what Jesus do. Jesus know his weakneses but still accept him for who he is, and still continue to love him. and I believe you will do the same for him :)

With Love.

Answer 6

At the age, this is natural to happen no matter how conservative he is. It is better he spends it this way. If this is not resolved, the urge will become a stress and his health will deteriorate. You need to be more understanding and help him to overcome this sooner. You can pick up some study on the chemical or emotional condition of male reaching the age of marriage. Sometimes this urge is beyond control especially in the morning and during bath taking. Have you allowed him to kiss and fonder you, to help please disallow his approach so that he will get over the urge?

Answer 7

A priest once told me that 99% of men admit to masturbating, and the other 1% lie about it.

And if your boyfriend used to be into porn, then he used to do it even if he gave it up more recently.

And at 19 years old, he's in his peak years sexually.

Answer 8

Masturbation is nothing personal (haha). Seriously, it doesn't mean anything bad about him or you. Almost all men masterbate. It is only a problem if done to excess. Think of it as just letting off a little steam.

It's really ok.

Answer 9

I hope for your sake he does otherwise statistically he is something like 60% more likely to get prostate cancer and yes every male I know Christain or otherwise masturbates occasionally

Answer 10

Maybe he does or maybe he doesn't, but the male body makes sperm and if he doesn't masterbate it will he'll eventually start to have orgasams in his sleep or what's called wet dreams.

Please don't be concerned about this, masturbation is not a sin, in fact it's healthy and it does your relationship no harm.

Good Luck!