3 year old boy behavior problems?

Question

I have a 3 year old little boy and a 5 year old little girl. My daughter is great, my son doesnt listen to me at all. Any advice? I do time out and spank but he still doesnt listen. I'm at my wits end, help!

Answer 1

First of all, you must be consistent and follow through with everything you threaten. Parent Sanity Rule #1 - Do not argue with a toddler or preschooler. You will not win an arguement or debate because kids can keep it up way longer than we can, and they can be way, way louder. However, you are in fact the parent, you are the boss. Be the parent, and be the boss. Children feel more confident and are better adjusted, when they have a parent making decisions and being the grownup. If you say no, then it is NO. If you allow him to argue with you, and you listen, then you have given him control. This will be a , really really bad thing when he is a teen!! Nip it now!
You might also try to figure out why he is misbehaving. Does he get more attention for doing the "bad" thing? You can tryan "all positive" aproach, and see if that helps - ignore the bad, praise the good. If he hits his sister, coddle her, ignore him. Then later shower him with attention over something good. Make him see that positive actions will get him attention, not misbehaviors.
You can also look at his development. Is he frustrated in some area? Language delay, undiagnosed hearing problem, cognitive or social delay? You won't always be able to pinpoint those things at age 3, but things like mild autism can show as just misbehaviors at an early age. Hearing problems, too, can make you think you are being ignored, or that he doesn't listen. (My son was diagnosed with "selective hearing disorder" - at age 3!!- ie, his hearing was fine and I was, in fact, being ignored)
Look at all the options and see what fits. Good luck! PS - Your girl will likely give you fits when she is older, and he will be a dream.

Answer 2

First of all you must stop comparing your son and your daughter. Not only are they different genders they are different people. Although some girls are easy going and behave well this is not true of all girls.

Your son is trying to learn about his world. Sometimes toddlers are so caught up in what is going on around them that your voice doesn't get through. So they are not really sure why they are being punished. Next time rather than go batty pick him up and go to another room. Sit down and get his attention. Maybe say "mommy needs to explain something. I asked you to sit down (or whatever you've been trying to get him to do). When you don't listen it makes me very sad because it's my job to take care of you and make sure you are safe and learn good manners." At 3 he's not going to understand everything you say but if you are consistent in explaining why you're angry or frustrated he will begin to get the picture. Also, he IS a little boy and he needs time and a place to BE a boy. And, the best advice I ever received was "DON'T SWEAT THE SMALL STUFF" Now that you have two little darlin's things will be more hectic and your wits are gonna suffer m'dear. When you get to the very end of them throw 'em out the window and grab that little boy up and hug him, then play with both sweeties for 5 or 10 minutes. Most things can wait that long even if we don't realize it. Right now is so important to them and in a few years you'll wish you could just hold their little hands and kiss their pudgy cheeks just one more time. I know this is not the advice you were seeking but I do hope it helps a little.

Now, I will pray for you, your babies AND your wits! I wish you many many blessings in the days and the years to come.

Answer 3

Yeah and they all say terrible 2's. I seriously think it's terrible 3's. My son also doesn't listen to me. We went to see a behavioral counselor and she said be consistent with time outs and punishments. Also make known what is off limits so there isn't any confusion. If he doesn't sit for time outs, then she told us to hold him down and wait for him to quit kicking and screaming, and then start the three minutes from that point.
It's hard dealing with a strong willed kid. Yelling and crying only make them act worse so try not to do either (sometimes that is extremely hard).
I get myself through by remembering that within a year or so this phase should be over. I like the light at the end of the tunnel.

Answer 4

The best option is one said by the other posters, and that is absolute consistency.

You might want to start by saying 'obey' instead of 'listen.' When a parent says a child is not listening - of course the child is listening, he is just not obeying - but it makes the behavior seem less bad. Disobedience is not a stage a child grows out of. If you see an out of control teen, I can tell you what they were like at 2, 3, and 4, and what their parents did or did not do about it.

You need to make sure that you son understands what you want when you tell him to do it, then make sure he does it EVERY SINGLE TIME. If you teach him to obey EVERY SINGLE TIME you tell him something, your discipline will quickly turn from constant into practically nothing. It is hard for parents of young children to believe this, however. If you only make him obey sometimes, then it will be worth it to him to try you over and over, and he will disobey far more times than if the outcome was already predetermined to be negative.

Also, make sure you are being a FUN MOMMY who spends time with that lil guy and loves him and reads to him and chases him and catches bugs with him! If you tie strings of relationship you will find him far more eager to obey.

Answer 5

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RE:
3 year old boy behavior problems?
I have a 3 year old little boy and a 5 year old little girl. My daughter is great, my son doesnt listen to me at all. Any advice? I do time out and spank but he still doesnt listen. I'm at my wits end, help!

Answer 6

Go heavy on the praise for good behavior, and don't react too much on bad behavior just be consistent, if you say something is not OK make sure it is not OK every time. Your daughter has learn to get attention by being "good" son gets attention by being "bad" make sure each child gets some special one on one time with you and don't team up with daughter making the boy the bad guy. Is there a male role model around? If so he too needs to be sure your son gets good male attention.

Answer 7

It's not a behaivor problem..he is 3 and many 3 year olds are like that. A behaivor problem would be something that is not normal. Repeat things twice and then take him by the hand and be firm.

Answer 8

Boys will be boys Mom! If you can spare a half hour try just some one on one mommy time just with him , ask him to teach you something that he has learned, let him tell you a bed time story or help you around the house with simple task, allow him to be your special angel for 30 minutes. often we ask the child when we are the parent and asking is a luxury if you get my meaning. Terra P.

Answer 9

Noticed that boys tend to be more active than girls. Naturally.

So, watch what he eats. No sugar or little sugar. - more reasonable. Because have noticed a kid acted up right after eating some candy, sweets, soda ... do give small quantity, because do believe it's fun to have candy as a kid, but not fun when kids act up or hyper-active.

Hope this perspective helps.

Answer 10

be consistent, if you tell him something foloow through with what you say and your disipline. often times we get frustrated and just give up and let the kids have there way because were just exausted by there behavior. try not to do that, be CONSISTANT, its the only way. talk to the child at there eye level and when they refuse to listen put them in time out till there ready to talk about there beahvior, hey this may sound dumb but i saw this technique on supernanny, worked for them and it also worked for me. watch that show, theres tons of helpful hints