Alright, so I told my mom f**k you tonight, and I need your opinion?

Question

ok, so this is the most i've ever poured my heart out on yahoo answers.

my mom today told me the most deep, most incredibly hurtful things you could possibly tell me - and this isnt irregular either - but then for the first time in a while apologized & told me she's been doing this for some reason for my entire life.

then when i brought it up tonite infront of my dad, she denied all of it and then even sweared on the bible to say that she never said it.
So I immediately said f*** you, because honestly guys, that's how I feel.

this is my mom! people, you dont even know what its like to have the person that is supposed to love you the most tell you something she wouldn't even tell her worst enemy.

What would you have done?

Answer 1

I would have just let it go. My mother has said terrible things to me too in a fit of rage but I still love her...

Answer 2

I am assuming you are between 14-18 years old. Sounds like your mother is having an emotional breakdown and unfortunately is taking out her issues on you.
Your behavior was unacceptable also. Just because one person is bad does not give another good cause to do the same. When you were a baby you were totally dependant upon your parents to protect, feed, shelter, and love you. Seems teenagers forget they have only been caring for themselves for a few years meanwhile Mom and Dad have been there for over a decade caring for them.
I think you should sit down with your father and privately have a long talk and ask him to provide family counselling. Perhaps your mother is physically ill or menopause? Perhaps you do not treat her with any respect and are unaware. Sounds like the hurt is sufficient if your father cannot help you perhaps involving your school psyc. is a possibility but I would tell your father how much you need his assistance as your mother and you are at a crossroads.

Answer 3

I think she has some problem inside. Some bad thoughts were being collected in her or something you don't know happened - and you just appeared in a bad moment and became the little reason for exploding. If it is all so than you should talk to her and try to help. Of course not today as you both are very angry.
But there may be another reason for such behaviour. Much more worse. My mom is usually very nice and loving and I love her. She is wise and tender and helpful. But several times a year she gets tired of everything and all the worst in her comes out. She screams and finds the reaos to do it if there is no particular one (for example: "you are just like your father!"). And she blames everybody of everything. And she is absolutily NORMAL! My father is a psychietrist and he says that it's just HER CHARACTER.

Some people just absorb everything bad for a long time and then explode. That is not the reason not to love them and not to forgive the beloved people.

Answer 4

I have to tell you that I know where you are coming from. but I had it from my dad. He was so mean to me. There was many years that I didn't even talk to him. I just recently started taking to my dad and sometimes I still hate him for what he put me trough. No child should be abused that way. I think that I dealt with it the wrong way though because I did everything that I knew he hated. I think that you should not let your mother first of all know that it bothers you because she will keep on doing it just to see you hurt. When it happens just leave the room and ignore her and don't show her that she beat you up. I know it sounds hard but maybe in the long run when she needs you the most she will finally admit to what she did. My dad still to this day won't admit to it and I'm going on 33. I hope things work out for you. I'm still going through bad things with my dad to this day. the snide remarks and all. I just wish that sometimes I had the guts to tell him the same thing you did.

Answer 5

I think at some point we all want to say F you to our parent/s. I have been through the same w/ my mom. She won't admit that she has said mean things to me either so I know what you're talking about. The right thing is to apologize to mom for cursing her out but tell her you're frustrated and don't understand her denial. Leave it at that. She says hurtful things because she's either jealous of your life, being young having a future or she has emotional problems (you would know better). My mom seems to have been very jealous of my independence which she did not have. Don't kick your self in the a** just let it go.

Answer 6

Everyone 'loses it' sometime. Your mom seems to do it often, you did it with the comment you made.

My youngest child has a temper. We both know it. She has blown up quite a few times. As a mom, I try to understand the frustration and I forgive.

If your mom can't forgive your 'blasting' then she should at least understand since it seems to be a more common occurance with herself.

Do you have someone to talk to? Your dad? Other close family that you can confide and talk to? Talking this whole thing out with a sounding board would help you tremendously. It helps you form your own position on this situation. Also try to talk to your mom when she is not having one of her 'attack modes'. If she becomes hurtful, just stop the conversation. Don't try to reason with her, just try to get her to listen to how you feel.

Answer 7

It is very likely that your mother is mentally unstable. This means she is sick. And sick people need a lot of understanding. Now, as a child, it is totally unfair that any of this gets put on you. But I can't believe your dad doesn't already know if that is the case. Talk to him privately, and ask him what he thinks. If he confirms the fact she is sick, you will need to learn how to get through the bad times when she says mean and hurtful things to you. If you can, seek counseling to learn how to deal with it. And remember you can always give your troubles to God. He will always listen. Find a way to survive a troubled childhood and don't pass it on to your children. One day you will find happiness. In the meantime, no matter what is going on, learn to control your temper and quit telling your mom f**k you. It's not proper no matter what the circumstances are.

Answer 8

Well I probably would have done the same thing, but I think you need to sit down with her alone and talk about it. Find out why she wouldn't admit it in front of your dad. Tell her you are sorry. I mean if your mom told you somthing that she didn't tell your dad then it must be important. I don't really know what else to say maybe if I knew what was said. Sorry I couldn't help more. Thanks

Answer 9

Wow, basically wow. it really is all i'm able to at the same time as my cat has my tongue... Edit: Now next time play "it is okay to Be gay" with information from Tomboy contained in the historic past once you call your mom. it is okay to be gay, let's rejoice with the boys contained in the gay way Hooray for the range of guy that you're going to discover contained in the gay way Father figures we are you're a shooting celeb you've come so a concepts i changed into once on your shoes In a closet like you I had not something to lose

Answer 10

That's a tough one. We're not born with coping skills, our parents have to train us. You know your response was innappropriate, but you have nothing to replace it with. You did a good job of identifying the problem. I wish I could tell you what to do about it. I wonder if you had a heart to heart with your dad, would he acknowledge your mom is mentally ill, and take over your upbringing or let you live with a grandparent, aunt or uncle?

Answer 11

I really don't think I would have said that to my mother. But, I can kind of understand your situation. I have a niece and nephew who face similar situations with their mother. I would tell her that I don't want to hear any more of her hurtful things because when I try to share them with others, she makes me out to be a liar. Tell her to go find someone else to listen to her. Let her know how much she is upsetting you. Maybe she needs some family counciling.