Does humbleness mean becoming a doormat for others to walk all over you?

Question

Sometimes I feel as though my humbleness and kindness can get taken advantage of. I feel as though I can compromise my wants and needs to help others as much as I can (at school, at home..etc.) but sometimes it feels as though they can't do that in return and just take me for granted as though it is my responsibility to always help everyone else out.

Answer 1

Religious values do hold up in the real world. I know many people, who are very devout to their faith, who are successful in their lives.
But really, sweetie, being humble is NOT the same as being a doormat. Think of it this way, If you have the extra time, or the extra whatever, then give it. Don't turn anyone down if you truly have the time to do something.
But if you don't really have the time, or if it means giving up something you care about, then tell that person no. Even Jesus slipped away from the crowds at night to sleep on Peter's boat. He went to the garden of Gethsemane to pray ALONE because it was private.
Having your "me" time, and keeping yourself happy, means that in the long run you'll be a better person. Don't ever forget that.
When someone makes you feel guilty for saying no, when you know you truly need a break, just walk away from them and take it to God.
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Answer 2

NO NO NO NO NO!

Humbleness is the act of giving without requiring your name mentioned. Of saying thank you when someone opens a door! Telling someone you don't like, "I hope you have a nice day," and mean it. Its a kind act when no one watches, it is NOT being there for someone else to walk on, being abused or to let someone else talk about you. THAT'S ABUSE. God, nor Christ took it and they didn't expect their followers too either! However! that said, they do expect you to "watch what you say and not "regret" saying something later!" They want you to protect yourself but not to the point where your soul is at risk! In other words, take care of yourself physically, but make sure your soul is safe, FIRST! You can always be resurrected, but if you sin against the holy spirit because someone mocks you and you lash out, forgetting that God is first in your life, not your life, then all your works are dead and the evil person wins.

Remember the first rule of giving. Your not DOING IT FOR yourself, therefore the thought about "why do they NEVER ask why or "how about you" should NEVER, EVER EVER come up." That's not WHY your doing it! If you feel your working and working and not getting anything back, your doing it for the wrong reasons. You should be doing it because your giving your best and making someone's life just "a little easier." The fact they don't thank you is their flaw, not yours. It doesn't lessen all your work, in fact, it adds to it! By continuing and not complaining you show the Angels watching (and trust me, they always are) that you are shoring up your treasures in your heart and realize that true rewards don't come from others, but from doing things that make God and thus, US happy. You will make many, many friends this way that you cannot even see!

Answer 3

You should check the definition of the word carefully. Being humble is about not thinking too highly of yourself. Humbleness is NOT about letting others take advantage of you.

"they can't do that in return and just take me for granted" are also two different thing. May be they really can not help you in return but that does not mean they have the right to "demand" things of you at their convenience either. NO ONE should take anyone for granted. They should be grateful when you help them.

YOU ARE ALLOWED TO SAY NO when enough is enough or when you have other things to do.

Learn to be assertive. Learn to say no without being judgemental or emotional.

But don't give up helping other people either. It is a good thing.

Answer 4

To let someone walk all over you is just plain stupid, not humble. To help others without compromising your values should be your goal. I too try to help others as much as I can, as that is the way I was raised but I learned a long time ago you can not save the world. I take care of myself first and then go from there.

Answer 5

No way! Never mistake being humble with being weak. Strength comes from character and one of the most honoable character traits is humility. The NFL is full of humble guys who could rip most people's arms out!

When you do a kind deed for someone, expect nothing in return. Jesus set a great example for all of us.

Check out www.stickwithjesus.com

Answer 6

Feel that humbleness means - serving others without thought to the price or sacrifice all the while bringing glory to Him....for your reward is not here but in the eternal.

Answer 7

Not at all. You can be extremely humble. It does not mean weakness. You can also be firm. Being humble means not putting yourself first. It means allowing someone else to be the star. But that shouldn't stop you from letting someone else know when he or she has crossed the line.

Answer 8

No. But some people see kindness and humbleness as a weakness.

Answer 9

John 15:20
Remember the word that I said unto you, The servant is not greater than his lord. If they have persecuted me, they will also persecute you; if they have kept my saying, they will keep yours also.
Matthew 5:10
Blessed are they which are persecuted for righteousness' sake: for theirs is the kingdom of heaven.
Matthew 5:12
Rejoice and be glad, because great is your reward in heaven, for in the same way they persecuted the prophets who were before you.
Matthew 5:44
But I tell you: Love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you,

Answer 10

I believe you're looking for Reciprocity. If you don't feel that your kindness is being returned, people are not reciprocating your kindness, and that is one of the original signs that they are not worth your time.
It is, technically, everyone's responsibility to reciprocate, but due to the facets of our culture today, that responsibility has become muddled and lost to many.