what is wrong with me?

Question

i dont know what is the matter with me. i want to change but i dont know what the problem is so i dont know how to fix it. firstly i dont have any feelings toward people. i mean i care about people but if i never saw them again it would not bother me. i started university two years ago and not once have i missed my parents or felt the need to visit them even though they live hours away. i dont feel like i have the ability to love people and i make up for feeling guilty about not loving them by being extremely nice but i feel like a fraud. also i am not unhappy but i always feel very low, like my life has no meaning and never will. i miss classes a lot because i never have the energy to go. i know this is not temporary because ive been this way my whole life - i remember even being 6 years old and avoid my friends because i wanted to be alone all the time. i am so fundamentally detached from the world and i feel like i have no future because of it. does anybody know why i am like this?

hi thanks dontknow thats what i thought at first too, but i went to see a doctor about a year ago and he said i did not have depression

Answer 1

Did you see a doctor or a psychologist? My experience is that doctors really have no clue when it comes to mental health issues. They shouldn't be able to mettle in psychological issues because they aren't trained in this area. It really sounds like depression to me. Just becasue you've had it your whole life does not mean that it isn't. Some people are genetically influenced and children can certainly have depression. There are a number of online resources for depression. You can get an idea by answering one of the many depression questionaires online (you don't have to submit anything or sign up for anything). No one will even know you referenced it. Then you can get an idea if you meet criteria for depression. If you find that you do, you can see a professional of your choice and discuss different treatment plans. You don't necessarily need drugs either. The most researched form of therapy for deperession is cognitive therapy, which is a type of therapy in which the client is highly involved and does activities outside of session. That is just one of the many therapies offered. Find one that suits you. If you don't want to be Freudian analyzed then don't choose a therapist who does psychoanalysis. Perhaps the one that most suits your case is Existentialist...finding meaning to life and focusing on positive aspects of life. Even if you don't have "depression" a counselor may help you to make meaning of life.

Answer 2

Actually I believe you should see another Dr for a second opinion because I am just like you. However I am married and even have 4 grown up children and my feelings have never changed, I simply go through the motions of life, I am medicated for bipolar and that has helped to a degree and I see a counselor who believes I am like this due to traumatic events of the past but so far I am still a shell of a person.... you can chose to accept that this is the way you are and put your feelings of fraud away inside you like I did and create an acceptable life or you can live alone, I tried alone for a while but it got extremely boring....

Answer 3

Carrie makes a good point that you should make any sort of changes because YOU want to make them and not because of any societal pressures. That being said, it sounds like your feelings of detachment are making you uneasy. If this is the case, you need to speak to a mental health professional, not just your medical doctor. Your university health center probably offers free counseling services with psychologists as well as psychiatrists. I thought that my behavior as a child was normal and just being "moody" until I saw a psychiatrist and was diagnosed with chronic atypical depression, episodes of which I have been having since I was in elementary school. By that time the situation had gotten completely out of control and my life was in danger. A few years earlier when I described my feelings to my general physician, she tossed me a sample pack of Lexapro and told me to take them to see how I felt. My school's mental health center took time to really figure things out, got me into counseling, and helped me come up with a plan for dealing with life... something I'd given up on doing.

Depression is not as simple as just being sad and crying all the time. There are a wide range of emotions from apathy to outward melancholy. And it might not be depression at all; perhaps it is the result of some psychological trauma or some other type of anxiety or stress disorder or issue. Look into the services offered at your school's Health Center or make an appointment with a local counselor or psychiatrist. If cost is an issue, talk to your parents if you feel they might understand or look into filing your visit with your health insurance. The most important thing is to not let your feelings of meaninglessness and lack of a future overwhelm you.

Answer 4

First, do you want to change because other people make you feel like this attitude is abnormal, or because you are suffering by feeling disconnected from people? It all sounds normal to me, just that you are undeniably and inherently introverted.

Introverted people thrive on being alone, and don't always have the longings and emotional attachments of extraverts. Unfortunately, society rewards extraverts for their need to connect with and gain the approval of others. This societal model of encouraging extraversion often lowers the self-esteem of the introvert.

I remember feeling grossly out of sorts in college when I couldn't get away from people - in the dorms, in classes, they were everywhere - to the point that it drained my energy. And I'm only mildly introverted!

The other stuff about finding meaning and loving others may take time to figure out, but you're still young enough that it's totally normal to feel that way at this stage of life. You cannot really give love to others if you don't love yourself enough - you just won't have anything to give. I would immediately start looking for books, articles, etc on the benefits of being introverted and learn to not only accept that about yourself, but to see it as a strength. Mary Sheedy Kurcinka has great descriptions of introverts and their contributions in "Raising your Spirited Child". There was also a recent study of the personality types of Great CEOs (Gates, Buffett) - many of them introverts. I know there are more (because this is a pet subject of mine) but I can't lay my hands on a list. But there should be plenty more on the net and available in libraries.

Remember, this time in your life can be hard anyway...give yourself a break and you'll see, life is about discovering who you are and finding a way to love that person. It's a journey, not a foregone conclusion.

Best of luck ~*~

Answer 5

It sound as if you are suffering from chronic depression. You probably avoid other people because it is 'too much work' to deal with them.
You have suffered long enough. There is soooo much help out there. At your university I would bet there is a counsellor you could talk to. A psychiatrist would probably give you medication to stabilize you and probably raise your serotonin levels but talk to a counsellor or psychologist to get to the root of your problem.

Don't suffer any longer. It will be hard and you will have to struggle at times to keep it together but it will be better than living how you are now.

Answer 6

The first stop is to atop worrying about yourself and start helping others.
you'd be surprised hoow good that makes you feel.
You also need to to talk to someone.
See a counseller.
Focus on the positves in life. take pleasure form enjoying small things.
Be happy for the rain, for your health, for your abilities and talents.
List your achevements.
1. able to read and write
2. good computer skills
3, ability to express yourself.
I have a disabled son, I'm thankful for any minor step he takes.
Can you Walk, Talk, see, hear, sing, think. do you live independantly, without assisantance? These are all great gifts.
Stop feeling sorry for yourself, it is a luxury.
Its only in loving others, will you find love for your self.
Every single faith on earth believes you get back what you give out.

Answer 7

It sounds like depression, of course. How is your libido? A lessened sex-drive can be a symptom of depression. Of course, SSRIs, which are a popular group of anti-depressants like Zoloft, can also cause lower sex-drive. You should try getting some exercise on a daily basis, if you don't already. You sound pretty apathetic. I can relate to that. I've been on Zoloft for over 11 years, but I still deal w/ regular bouts of sorrow and feelings of meaninglessness. I've sort of made my peace w/ it. I don't have the balls to kill myself, so I just trudge along, finding brief moments of pleasure where ever I can. Ironically, the Internet, especially Yahoo! Answers, may provide people w/ a way to hide by themselves and not face people, but still get a sense of interaction, all be it impersonal and brief. I wish you luck. Oh ya, I try to watch/download Internet porn from Limewire everyday.............it's one of those brief moments of pleasure I was talking about. Remember, it'll be over, eventually.

Answer 8

It sounds as to me htat u are just socaly distracted sorta. When u finaly go and C ur parents it will bring back so many memories that u will most likely start crying because u missed so much stuff.

Answer 9

It sounds like you are dealing with a classic case of clinical depression to me and maybe other mental health issues as well.
Therapy and medication do help. You must get evaluated by a mental health professional. You really can feel much better. God bless you on your journey to better mental health.

Answer 10

I think you are depressed too.......I know you said the doctor said you werent.....but it just doesnt make sense.....are you sure you told your doc everything? I say print up what you just wrote, and show that to your doc......there is know way they will keep saying that...I do relate to you tho......I am the same way.......I am sorry to you......I hope you find something to turn this around and make you happy.....it is possible but try not to wait any longer.....it is just going to feel impossible to crawl out of that hole you feel like you are in