we went to high school together and knew each other, went to some of the same classes, and spoke online now and then....
she met a guy at our university a couple of years ago.
now she lives with him 3000 km away, and they both work there too.
i think about her every day and wish i could be with her instead. she is really nice, usually smiling.
passionate about many things and lets people know if she thinks they're doing something wrong, but in a nice way that gets through to them. and she's usually right, i think.
she doesn't butt in and do it often or anything. this isn't the main reason i like her, but it's an example.
her entire view of things, her ideals and goals, are all so admirable and inspiring.
i would never tell her how i feel now though since she has a boyfriend, and it might be difficult even after that because i like how we chat online even though it's usually about nothing.
i think at some point i could tell her.
i don't think i want another girl.
2007-01-11 14:58:47 · 32 answers · asked by bad_ambassador 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
I remember having moments like this, and I feel your pain. But each time I opted to move on, and I don't regret it now. Life is too short to spend your time pining over people you can't have or waiting for events that won't happen. You can still care about this girl, but your obsession is causing you pain and preventing you from moving on. This spells out a cycle of pain and disappointment. And telling her your feelings may release a burden, but it could also drive her further away from you as even a friend.
Maybe she'll break up with her boyfriend, maybe circumstance will bring you two together. But waiting for things like this to happen is a mistake. You'll eventually give up, regretting all that time you spent waiting. Enjoy your life.
2007-01-11 15:10:21 · answer #1 · answered by kittykorruption 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Using the word "obsessed" is never a good thing, especially when talking about your feelings towards someone else. I think you need to just move on and let her go on with her new boyfriend. If things don't work out with him, then she might turn to you...her friend, for advice or a friendly ear. She sounds like a great person but since she does have a boyfriend right now, there is no sense in you at least dating and having some fun...you never know, you might meet someone that you find very interesting! Good luck.
2007-01-11 15:05:16 · answer #2 · answered by Corona 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You are doing the right thing here. You should not interfere with the relationship. Continue to be her friend, email chat whatever. If she ever breaks up with him, then you can say something. Now here is going to be a shocker. Seems like you have been apart for quite awhile, being friiends through chat and email are very very different than a realtionship. (I have exerience here). In real life day to day, you may not get along, hard to imagine I know. But this dog has bitten me as they say. People may seem the same over chat and email, but in person they have changed. It is a weird thing that I am still working out my self. As for another girl. Funny things happens when you start dating a new girl and you like her. The old one fades away more and more over time and you realize that there is more than one person in this life that can make you happy and that you can be happy with.
2007-01-11 15:10:47 · answer #3 · answered by Briandking 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Given that she has a boyfriend AND she lives far away, yes, it's a very good idea for you to move on. Just get out there and make some new friends. One day you will meet another girl that will inspire you the same way. The more you meet and get to know new people, the sooner it will happen.
2007-01-11 15:02:34 · answer #4 · answered by L T 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
At this point in time you have to move on. Maybe at a later date you could be together, but try not to think about what could be. It is not easy at the moment, but you have to live your life now in the situation you are in.
Relax and try to find new friends, do things you have never done before, go to new places. Basically try to keep busy doing something so that your life is not taken over by thoughts about what could have been.
Good luck
2007-01-11 15:07:49 · answer #5 · answered by richard555 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think you should definitely move on. It's been a while likely since you've even spent some real time together and people change a whole whole lot during university. If it's something you think you'll always be wondering about, shoot her an e-mail and let her know that you still think about her. If she responds with mutal feelings then it might be something to hang on to, otherwise, move on.
2007-01-11 15:02:47 · answer #6 · answered by sarahjaniepoo 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I know that you want this girl more than anything; but your obsession over her is stopping you from anyone else you could fall for. You should try to get over this girl and try to meet somebody that could benefit you and you could benefit. Try to find somebody closer to you and maybe has the same interests. I'm sure you will do fine. Good luck and God bless you!
- UCLA rox
P.S. If you really care about her and want her to know you can talk to her face to face or you can email/im/myspace/etc.. her
P.P.S. Just advice you should act happy for her and her boyfriend and then maybe you two could get a little closer.
2007-01-11 15:04:09 · answer #7 · answered by ucla<3 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Move on, emotionally, but if you can stay friends without it being too uncomfortable, you may find that
1. Someone this nice makes a very true friend
2. You can be a true friend yourself, which she will very much appreciate (women find, especially as they mature, that their male friends have provided more support than their lovers)
3. This other bloke may go from "very serious boyfriend" to "very former boyfriend."
But yes, move on and live your own life and like her for who she is, not who she may become to you.
2007-01-11 15:07:04 · answer #8 · answered by fragileindustries 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You really do have to tell her. But don't overwhelm her with "I love you". She may have a boyfriend, but what if she has secret feelings for you? It's possible. Maybe say "I had a major crush on you in high school...do you think you would of gave me a chance?" See how she replies...
If you feel so strongly for her, you have to at least give it a try, otherwise, your whole life you'll be asking "What if...?"
2007-01-11 15:06:48 · answer #9 · answered by Megan 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well, you have a few options:
1.) Continue obsessing and continue being depressed
2.) Realize that it's not going to happen and get over it
3.) Be a jerk and break them up
I suggest that you try to move on!!!
2007-01-11 15:01:17 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋