Unfortunatey I am having major troubles with my sister, it is a long and stressful story that seems to have gone back around to how it began (getting nasty text messages). We have tried talking to work it out but she doesnt seem to acknowledge her actions that began the troubles, she just wants to forget about it and move on & go back to being really close.
2007-01-11 14:49:58 · 14 answers · asked by Affirmation 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
I just cant seem to forget all the hurtful things that have been said, if I dont feel acknowledged. It feels like it will happen all over again...
2007-01-11 14:51:20 · update #1
You need to say goodbye to a relationship if all it causes you is pain and sorrow. If the other person does not want to admit/acknowledge their bad behavior that hurts you and does not wish to change - Let them Go. It is okay to let people go - even if we love them desperately. But you have to also love yourself and not let people treat you badly.
Remember that love is supposed to be kind, gentle, is not selfish and does not cause intentional pain.
all the best!
2007-01-11 14:56:01 · answer #1 · answered by fancyface1 l 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Try this:
Meet with your sister. Bring a paper towel and some red food coloring.
Tell her the paper towel represents your relationship with her. Spill red fool coloring on it. Tell her the red food coloring represents her nasty words, etc.
Ask her if the paper towel can go back to the way it was.
It'll never be the same as it was. Ever. Because we are all evolving, every minute of every relationship. Tell her you need for her to validate how you're feeling. It'll be hard for her, since she hurt you and memory can also be selective.
Do remember this: I know some people here are telling you "just because she is family" you should stick by her.... But here's what I have to say about that: Just because someone wss born into the same family doesn't give them the right to treat you any way they want. You see, for me, friends are the family you choose yourself.
Now, ask your sister what she wants to do about the red food coloring.....
Oh. And I speak from experience. I have not spoken to my one and only (thank God!) sister for more than one year. And life is soooooooooooo much better!
2007-01-11 23:37:06 · answer #2 · answered by The ReDesign Diva 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Give your sister the room and take the advantage of being the sibling that allows the adjustments aimed toward the future. You will gain the satisfaction of knowing that through your efforts this relationship is a thriving one based on love and not resentment. She's obviously asking to be forgiven and in time the acknowledgment for what ever reason will be validated on terms established by love not pride.
2007-01-11 23:01:22 · answer #3 · answered by Goodie66 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Which do You want, a "relationship" with Your Sister, or to "retaliate" against Your Sister? You just have to be 'bigger' than she is being. So long as You never apologize to Her for something that You did not do, then You will have maintained Your personal integrity, and held the moral high ground. Saying sorry to a woman who is in the wrong is the same as telling Her that she can do it all over, and over again, and keep blaming it on You. We all deserve to feel good about Ourselves, don't We?
2007-01-11 23:02:00 · answer #4 · answered by Ashleigh 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would consider history... is this a pattern?? If yes then your not wanting to budge would be justified (certainly at some point if not now).. However, if this is the first time why would you be so stuck on getting an apology and/or having her acknowledge whatever happened???
As for cutting loose, I don't believe anyone should allow negatives in their world and I don't care where they come from.
2007-01-11 22:55:44 · answer #5 · answered by gjm 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The best thing to do is just keep trying to put those things behind you. It really isn't going to get you anywhere by remembering and not allowing yourself to have a relationship with your sister. Trust me, me and my sister have a lot of problems so I know from experince the best thing to do is to forgive and forget. Good Luck and keep in mind that family is one of the most important things in life without them you're nothing!!!
2007-01-11 22:55:37 · answer #6 · answered by cute_chica 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well if your asking this question then maybe you should just let her know you dont want it to be like that. Text messages can be an issue because it's hard to tell what people really mean using just text. It's better in person.
2007-01-11 22:55:19 · answer #7 · answered by Derek 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I have had the same experience with my older sister. Eventually, I had to realise that we have too many bad feelings towards each other and now we only talk at Xmas and birthdays. My self-esteem is much better now and I don't feel guilty.
2007-01-11 22:56:57 · answer #8 · answered by Wendy 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you feel this bad and her behavior bothers you that much, then leave her alone for awhile. You need to give yourself some time to vent. After a while you may want to try again, and that is ok. I hope she changes. Don't be abused by any one.
2007-01-11 22:56:42 · answer #9 · answered by Melissa M 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You never want to write off your family. You never know when you will need them dearly. Accept that your sister is human, not perfect and has disappointed you over and over again with her lack of sensitvity. She is and always will be your blood.
You need to forgive, but you don't have to forget. Just be cautious. Forewarned is forearmed....
2007-01-11 22:57:14 · answer #10 · answered by Patricia D 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋