In love with a non-christian..what to do?

Question

Over the past year or so, I have fallen in love with the woman of my dreams. She is everything I could have asked for in a girlfriend, and I genuinely believe that what we have is true love.

However, the problem is that she is non christian

I on the other hand, am a very religious person. I feel as though I have been called to ministry, and thus am met with conflict. I know that if my heart, soul, body, and mind aern't all in for the Lord, that I will fail.

I have strived to put God in the center of my life, yet the more i put God in the center of my life, the more my relationship with my girlfriend fades to black. And when i try to hold on to our relationship, I feel it stunting my growth and walk with god.

What should I do? Should i break up with her and keep God at the center of my life? Is there any way I can find some kind of balance? Can I keep this relationship going?

ANY AND ALL ADVICE...GREATLY APPRECIATED.

Answer 1

You are going to get a lot of quotes from Paul telling you not to be unequally yoked. That's true, Paul did say that, but Paul also said that if a believer is happy and willing to stay with a sinner, then they have no right to divorce.

Think about this, honey. Say you go up to this girl and say, "I'm breaking up with you because you don't go to church." She'll be crushed, and what's more, she'll wonder why you bothered going out with her in the first place.

On the other hand, you do have to think about this. If you want to be a minister, and she doesn't support your ministry, it can become a problem that will hold you back. I personally know someone in that situation. He wants to be a minister and be more involved in his church, but his wife gives him fits.

This is what you need to do. Keep her in your life. Don't give her an ultimatum (joing my church or else) and don't lose a good relationship over that. I can't see Jesus telling you to do that.
But keep the relationship just where it is. Don't move forward with any marriage plans, or anything more serious, until you come to an answer. Start praying for God to show you which way to go.
If God doesn't want you to be with her, He can move her out of the picture without you hurting her feelings. If He does want you to be with her, only He can soften her heart.
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Answer 2

You say you have fallen "in love" with this girl.

True Love knows no boundaries. If it was true love - there would be no problem.

All things happen for a reason in life. Both you and this girl (whatever it is she believes in) should see your lives as a journey. If your path's have crossed on that journey, then it is obviously for a reason.

No one can tell you whether or not you should continue in the same direction or end the relationship becoz of your religious belief's. Even if you ask God, He after all gave us free will.

Look deep inside your soul for the answer. Take into consideration all the factors, do what makes you happy and remember that True Love is very rare.

Answer 3

First of all don't ever let go of God and your faith in him. His plans for us may make no sense at the given moment but there's a reason for everything that occurs in our lives. Keep God in the center of your life and he will lead you in the right direction. It is probable that God could have placed this woman in your life as a gift to you, but it is also probable that she may be the one who ruins your relationship with God. Continue to pray and do not stay in denial when the Lord speaks. Keep your ears open and don't let your flesh interpret what the Lord says. If you feel that there is conflict between you being in a relationship with her and you focusing on God..... then unfortunately, this is a problem.... I really hope this works out for you!

Answer 4

You stated it quite clearly, your relationship with her stunts your growth in the Lord. There often is a cost associated with following Him. You will choose that which is more important to you, its that simple. I know this sounds hard and uncaring but there is no way to sugar coat it. When the rich young ruler asked Jesus what he lacked he was told to sell all that he had and give to the poor and then come follow Him. there is no one though, who gives up things for the Lord now who wont in the future receive many times over back. You know yourself that once you put your hand to the plow there is no turning back. I was in your shoes once and it was a difficult decision but each year that passes I am comforted more and more that I made the right decision. You will never regret obedience.

Answer 5

The Bible says we should not be unequally yoked. The most important thing you can ever do is be true to God. You are being tempted and I am warning you that if you marry this non-Christian, your life will not ever be the same. You will be concerned for her eternal salvation; you will not find the joy you would be able to find with a partner of like faith and devotion to the Lord. There is no way you can play a balancing game. With God, it's all or nothing.

Answer 6

Heh. I had the same problem, but vice-versa(I was the non-believer and she was the Christian). Think of it this way; if you stay with Christians and Jews your whole life, what will you learn? Far less than if you stay with someone you know nothing about. I personally think religion is a waste of time, and that it has caused so much death and pain. I would say, do what your heart tells you. Some might say that is the thoughts of God, but it is something called a 'Concscience.' Use it well.

Answer 7

I am an atheist, and my ex wife is a christian. While this is not the reason for our divorce, it is a problem we carried with us throughout the marriage. There is no getting past it. Not blaming, but this issue will bother you more than it does her.

I didn't have a problem except for the time when she would talk to me about how it bothered her that she knew I was not going to be in "heaven" with her.

I won't tell you it can't work, but it will never be simple. It will likely always be in the back of your mind. I would say you should end it, but consider ending it. Then, the choice is yours.

Answer 8

I married the man of my dreams, I the christian, him not..well at least not practicing. I was warned not to marry someone I wasn't equally yolked with, but I didn't listen. We were married for 5 yrs with two kids. We split up a few times and that is when I realized he was never going to change. So I divorced him, we were separated for about 8mo. The entire time I prayed for his salvation. For him to come to God. Not for us to be together, but for him to be happy in the Lord. Of course I wanted him back. I love Him VERY much. But like I said, we were split up about 8mo when He came to me asking to have his family back. It has been 9 mo since we moved back in together and slowly, every day he turns a little more to God. Prayer does work. But we have agreed NOT to get remarried until he is equally yolked with me. You can not say for sure whether or not a person will turn to God. So don't marry them until you know they're where they need to be. God was good enough to take a 'wrong' marriage and make it right in my case, some people aren't that lucky. Pray and God will reveal His path for you.

Answer 9

Your situation is no different than what happened with Samson and Delilah. The Bible would tell you to not marry her. I suggest going to www.Christianet.com and posting a blog question there. Most of them are true Christians and very helpful. They can help you in this situation. And I'll say again what God wants you to do is let her go. Pray to God to help you in doing that. This is why we always make sure the person we are dating is a Christian. If not you don't date him or her. You got yourself into this situation now you need to let God help you get out of it. God bless. I hope you make the right decision. Remember what happened to Samson.

Answer 10

You should give him the gospel. Tell him that the Lord Jesus Christ died for his sins and if he would believe and trust in that then he to could go into heaven. If you marry a unbeliever you will not bring him to Christ but he will lead you back into sin and there will be trouble in your marriage. 2 Corinthians 6: 14 Be ye not unequally yoked together with unbelievers: for what fellowship hath righteousness with unrighteousness? and what communion hath light with darkness?